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Are You the Initiator?

When it comes to sex, I have to say I'm not shy about making the first move, but at the same time, I really like when the guy I'm with initiates intimacy. It makes me feel beautiful and lusted after, which is such a turn on.

I was wondering about the role you play in your sexual relationships. Are you usually the initiator or the shy, passive person when it comes to intimacy? Does it make you more comfortable to make the first move or do you like to sit back and wait for the advances to come your way?


Join The Conversation
rocknrollmaw rocknrollmaw 9 years
OH I am SOOO the initator I"m glad I am not alone though. On one hand i'm ok with it but omg have you ever been turned down??? That one sucks! I'm like what is wrong with me? do you think i'm gross? And he insists no, but he's just tired, he's such a chick and i'm such the guy it feels like. well if we're being stereotypical like that. Anyway. I would love to be ravaged. Do you think that our guys have just gotten comfortable with us initiating so they don't feel like they need to work ? or whats the deal? This is a great topic i'm really glad you posted it!
lizzie_ttu lizzie_ttu 9 years
This caused a big fight with my boyfriend & I last night! I'm the initiator 90% of the time... and I'm fine with that. That was until I read this and got my mind thinking and getting upset that he didn't initiate things as much. I told him it made me feel like he wasn't attracted to me and that he didn't desire me... it was awful! We're fine today, but the fight never would have happened if I never read this. However, it ended on a happy night with him initiating something and promising to work on that in the future. :)
rlveronica rlveronica 9 years
I am the initiator and it's bugging me.
omilawd omilawd 9 years
We both do about the same amount of initiating.
sparklestar sparklestar 9 years
I am mostly the initiator but he will sometimes too. I know that if it wasn't for me initiating then some weeks we would go without. Today he's tried to initiate twice and got buuuuurned because I was too tired! Swings and roundabouts.. =)
MandyJoBo MandyJoBo 9 years
We initiate in completely different ways so it's hard to say, but I think he's more of the initiator. I love how I can just be lounging around looking like crap and he thinks I'm as sexy as when I'm wearing one of his shirts, or nothing at all. After nine years, he still gets revved as much as when we first fell in lust.
tb12fan tb12fan 9 years
We both do, but I must say when he initiates it is a huge turn on
BlairBear BlairBear 9 years
I am always the one initiating it! It makes me wonder sometimes if I'm still attractive to him or if he still wants me. On the other hand, he works way to much and he had surgery a couple of years ago and it lowered his testosterone, so I know better. Or maybe I'm just a horn dog :D
CaterpillarGirl CaterpillarGirl 9 years
I am not the initiator....
trixiefire trixiefire 9 years
Um, usually I have to, and it kinda bothers me sometimes. But I forgive it, because I know my bf doesnt ask, because he's so used to frigid girlfriends. We try to be as blunt and honest as possible, and I try to lighten up about it too.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 9 years
We both do.
paine paine 9 years
well, heres another one. Cause with me its also a bit of both too. I agree trishcmc, when its him its a really big turn on.
trishcmc trishcmc 9 years
I'm going for a bit of both too! Although, I do agree that him initiating really is a big turn on :)
SillyBecky SillyBecky 9 years
I'm the initiator most of the time. My poor hunny works 7 days a week, so when he gets home from his job, the only thing he thinks a bed for is sleep. So, luckily for me we have the couch, the futon, the coffee table, the rug........... ;). He does surprise me sometimes, though, and when he does, it's the best thing ever. Well, next to him, of course. :D
SummerBaby SummerBaby 9 years
i dunno im going to have to say a little of both! :)
Shopaholichunny Shopaholichunny 9 years
A little bit of both but I'm usually the Initiator..
Lovely_1 Lovely_1 9 years
When it comes to my boyfriend and I, I would have to say it's 70/40. About 70% of the time he iniates it and makes me crazy begging for more! And about 40% of the time I iniate it! Mainly by walking around naked or cooking dinner naked or rubbing him. But it works good for us cuz we have sex once a day, if not 2!
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