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Are You Oblivious to Being Hit On?

I must be ovulating! In the last 48 hours, two guys have tried talking to me while sitting on the same couch at the same coffee shop. The problem is I can sometimes have a very — oh, I don't know — East Coast mentality to talkative strangers. It's sweet enough in theory, but I'm usually taken back in practice. Without considering who they are, why they are talking to me, or even what they look like, it can be hard not to discourage further dialogue.

This weekend, it went like this: I am stirring my iced latte that's become top heavy with water. I hear a voice, words, directed toward me. If I don't look up, it never happened. But I feel eyes fixed on me, so I do. He's staring right at me.

"Sorry?" I ask.
"What. Are. You. Reading?"
I look at the unmistakable Miller Text Roman font of his New Yorker, and immediately put my hand over a picture and flip to the cover.
"New York magazine." I show him the cover, so it's true.
"But, what article?"
There's no getting out of it. I flip back.
"It's about . . . It's about Oprah."

I flip the page and keep reading. He leaves, and I realize he was trying to talk to me. I notice he's tall and dressed well and reads at a least a college-sophomore level, and I realize it's too late. I feel like Liz Lemon. This would totally happen to Liz Lemon! Only she'd have Jack tell her what to do.

Source: Flickr User Ed Yourdon

fashionplate525 fashionplate525 7 years
Yeah, my inclination is not usually to assume that someone is flirting with me, unless they are being extremely in-your-face over the top about it. Otherwise, I figure they are just making conversation and I happen to be there.
Lyv Lyv 7 years
Um no, never. Unless it's girls! My gaydar for girls sucks, it takes me forever to take the hint.
neonbee neonbee 7 years
I'm clueless all the time, unless the guys do it explicitly. I guess I just don't think anyone's going to hit on me.
secondstar secondstar 7 years
I'm terrible in picking up on signals. I've had so many "platonic" male friends, only to find out later that they've been hitting on me the whole time. I just tend to assume people are being friendly unless there's over the top flirtation.
hypnoticmix hypnoticmix 7 years
Yes, when I was single it always had to be pointed out to me by a friend or the flirter would have to have the balls to just come out with it. Any one I've ever dated or settled down with has been the aggressive flirter.
kurniakasih kurniakasih 7 years
Sometimes I can be pretty oblivious because some guys hit on me at the last place I'd be expecting to be hit on (bookstores, cafe shops and during grocery shopping).
postmodernsleaze postmodernsleaze 7 years
Hahahaha, I am SO oblivious. My friends always have to point it out to me. It's better that I don't know, however, because once my friends point it out to me I get all awkward and ruin the conversation. I'm a much better communicator if I just think it's a friendly conversation. Of course, it's a different story if someone is being just way too obvious about it. Once a guy was trying to teach me to play pool better (getting very close while doing it) and kept saying he was forgetting my name because all he could see were my blue eyes. I thought that was pretty obvious. But otherwise, I am almost hilariously oblivious. I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that I've always been annoyed by girls who think every single guy who talks to them is interested in them. I always thought that seemed cocky and conceited. Like, EVERY guy is interested in you? Please.
tlsgirl tlsgirl 7 years
I usually assume most people are just being friendly as well. Maybe that's naive, but I like it better. And zeze, I do those goofy things sometimes too. I actually walked smack into a pole one day while I was rooting around in my purse looking for my sunglasses. Oops.
mix-tape mix-tape 7 years
I'm oblivious to most forms of flirtation. My best guy friend had to tell me that a guy was interested in my after he gave me a mixed cd filled with songs hinting at the attraction. I prefer to just have a person say, "Hey I think you're cool want to _____?" Men and women work so differently...
KadBunny KadBunny 7 years
Unless someone is being stupidly obvious about it, I'd say 90% of the time I am completely oblivious to it! I think I've subconsciously trained my brain to assume that people are being friendly :( I mean how awkward would it be if they weren't hitting on you and you were like ew get away!
GregS GregS 7 years
I'm a guy so it rarely happens to me. And usually when it does, my mind is out to lunch. Then it's a D'oh moment. I am talkative, though, so strangers and I get along just fine, which makes it even worse that I wouldn't pick up on those vibes. *Sigh*
zeze zeze 7 years
Oh and back to the actual topic, a lot of times when people talk to me, I assume they are just being friendly rather than "hitting on me." I think women like to flatter themselves a little too much and assume anyone who strikes up a conversation while waiting in line or sitting somewhere wants them, sometimes people just want to say hi. (I am from the take it for what it's worth.)
zeze zeze 7 years
This is 100% me, I am always, always oblivious to what is happening around me unless I am paying direct attention to it. So more than just getting hit on, if someone eyes me down or gives me a dirty look or anything like that, I won't notice unless they do it right in my face. It's a terrible habit, there have been times where I will walk across the street not noticing cars because I was looking in my purse for something or hit a pole right in front of me because I was focused on what I was doing next (like deciding where to turn, what route to take as I leave a parking lot). I wish there was a cure.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 7 years
No, I'm not oblivious either. I react by shying away, as I'm a married woman.
RoaringSilence RoaringSilence 7 years
My friends tell me sometimes that people were hitting on me when I was talking to them, but I think sometimes people really just want to talk. I usually don't find out who's right.
bellavita214 bellavita214 7 years
Everyone I met while I lived on the East Coast were way more personable than anyone here in the Midwest.
Zivanod Zivanod 7 years
East Coast Mentality LOL Funny ... I must have that too. No matter what the reason someone may try and talk to me, I give them the death stare and walk away. I guess I am unapproachable! :shrug:
outsung outsung 7 years
I'm completely oblivious and to make matters worse I'm also oblivious to awkward situations (i.e. being a third wheel with my coupled friends...)
genesisrocks genesisrocks 7 years
Sometimes oblivious. But at the same time I feel like I usually send out the first signal by catching their eye or smiling. Most guys are too intimidated to approach without some kind of subtle sign.
tlsgirl tlsgirl 7 years
I'm mostly oblivious. When I'm not, it's usually because the guy is being really obnoxiously obvious about it, so I just pretend to be oblivious hoping he goes away.
dexaholic dexaholic 7 years
Completely oblivious!
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