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Are Your Friends a Reflection of Who You Are?

Last night's episode of The City proved to be as dramatic as ever, and in true reality fashion, everyone was intertwined in each other's business. The jury is still out as to whether or not Adam cheated on Allie, and while Whitney and Jay have nothing to do with it, their differing views are starting to affect their relationship. Of course, being there for your friends is important, but holding innocent bystanders accountable for their friends' actions might be taking things a bit far.

While I think it's important to surround yourself with people who make you want to be a better person, tell me, do you agree with Whitney when she says that your friends are a reflection of who you are?

To get all the fashion from last night's episode, check out our new site, CelebStyle.

Photo courtesy of MTV

RockAndRepublic RockAndRepublic 8 years
If a friend makes a decision that I don't agree with, should we no longer be friends any more because of it?
Good question. She we dismiss friends because they do things we dont approve of? We are not out friends, but they are adults and they're well aware of their actions. And so are we. But we are not out actions.
cupcake_ cupcake_ 8 years
To an extent, yes. I have things in common with all of my friends, but also things that we do not have in common. If a friend makes a decision that I don't agree with, should we no longer be friends any more because of it? I do not agree with things that my friends have done but I am still there for them through thick and thin.
LeChatonNoir LeChatonNoir 8 years
The comment "your friends are a reflection of yourself" is a loaded comment, and I think it tends to be interpreted in a close-minded way. First of all, the idea of what a friend is differs from person to person. Second of all, the way one person wil treat specific friends can differ for each friend. So, perhaps what the core of this statement gets at is, the quality of your friendships have some context in determining what kind of person you are. However, I still think that someone shouldn't be judged simply for their friendships - since you may only have a guess as to what those friendships are truly based on. A person's character, and the decisions he or she makes is complex. We're human - and imperfect.
aimeeb aimeeb 8 years
To an extent...
lily3484 lily3484 8 years
If my bf's friends were a reflection of him, I would be in big trouble! I can understand Whitney's insecurities but I think that if your bf has a good head on his shoulders and tends to be a leader rather than a follower, you are in good shape. If he seems to be one of those guys that tries to impress his friends or strives to fit in, then I can see how she maybe concerned.
xopiperxo xopiperxo 8 years
i think so
RockAndRepublic RockAndRepublic 8 years
Whitney is way too involved in something she needs to keep her nose out of. She's probably approaching it from a place of insecurity, seeing as she's barely in a relationship with Jay.
Lukin Lukin 8 years
As everyone said, it's true to a point -- at least for me. My friends and I obviously share some deep common ground and core values, or else we wouldn't be friends (because we'd constantly be disagreeing and arguing), but a choice my friend makes in a given situation might not be the same one that I would have made.
GScott86 GScott86 8 years
Definitely believe in influence, it's up to you to realize yourself though. I'd definitely say though, that some people can't seem to resist being influenced by their friends. Whether good or bad it just seems like some people really are zombies at times.
Meike Meike 8 years
Up to a certain level, sure. I have a diverse set of friends from all over the world which is pretty telling about my own background as a person who grew up moving around. As for my closer friends, the nerdier they are, the more they reflect my own personality.
hope2be hope2be 8 years
Kind of agree to that. But if I were Whitney, I'd not be blaming Jay for being friend/bff/roomie with the other dude. I'd stay out of the whole drama to begin with. Sadly, I may be the only one who actually agreed with the biyatch Whitney works with, Olivia, was it? She's not in high school, stay out of people's biz. But unlike Olivia, I won't be saying that as well to Whitney LOL. I'd just keep it to myself, because you came out sounding like a huge biyatch when you scold/criticize other people like that :p Then again, the Olivia character may do it on purpose because she doesn't really like Whitney (not wanting to be her friend) or she wants to be the 'villain' on the show. What Whitney needs to do is watch Jay like a hawk, see how he handles things/friends/etc, no need to get upset or nagging over it. If he's a d!ck, it'll show soon enough and if she doesn't like, dump his skinny @ss LOL. Gosh, I dunno why, I'm crushing on Whitney nowadays, she's so..cute and yet kind of ordinary (anyone seen her hair at the office? It's all messy and so...unmade). I watched this episode last night to my fiancee's chagrin LOL.
bastylefilegirl bastylefilegirl 8 years
BTW Jay isn't just friends with Adam live together which is a whole other level of know things that most friends that don't live in the same house know...therefore Whiney had every right to question his character!
bastylefilegirl bastylefilegirl 8 years
On some level your friends are a reflection of you. Because most people aren't friends with others that the don't have something in common with. Most friends at least hold the same basic core values ( not religion but core values). And on the other hand, your friends have qualities that are uniquely diffrent than yours. But I tend to think that if someone is a liar/cheater, those are core values, and it will bring up questions about your character.
Myst Myst 8 years
I think it's true to a certain a point. Most of my closest friends share some of the same beliefs and values as I do, however on most things we're total opposites but I don't love them any less.
sourcherry sourcherry 8 years
Yes and no. You can't expect a guy that hangs out with playboys all the time to not be a playboy himself, for example. But one thing is to have a group of friends that share certain "qualities" and another is to have one friend with those "qualities". Plus, I can't say that I agree with everything my friends have done, but as a friend my job isn't to judge them, but to suport them, even when they make questionable choices.
oohsexypenguin oohsexypenguin 8 years
I can't speak for others, but my friends are definitely a reflection of who I am. I wouldn't want to surround myself with people who don't have the same values as I do.
Fallen85 Fallen85 8 years
i sure hope so because all of my friends are awesome.
thelorax thelorax 8 years
To an extent, definitely. As we get older & wiser, our priorities shift and we shoulder new responsibilities. The friends you have when you're 25 are different from the friends you had when you were 15. In high school, you saw these people every day. Relationships were easy & often shallow. Now, maybe you've moved across the country and are working two jobs to pay your mortgage. Maintaining relationships is hard work! You pour your heart into meaningful relationships with people who are "worth it", people you identify with, respect, and trust. The people you value as your friends - and here I draw the line between "fun acquaintances", someone you'd go to happy hour with, and "friends", someone you'd ask to be in your wedding - are definitely a reflection of who you are and what you value.
dm8bri dm8bri 8 years
haha Jude C... I dunno if it's true all the time. I have a particularly crazy friend from looooooong ago...we're still friends but not nearly as close as when we were in high school. People are constantly evolving. To site The City as an example, Adam is a male model from a smaller place and is probably really tempted by all of the attention he's getting now. I mean, he's suddenly on a popular "reality" show in the middle of uber social and competitive NYC. He's a young guy; it remains to be seen what he'll be like after all the hype. Yes, it is a reflection of HIS character that he would cheat on his girlfriend, but I think it's going a bit too far to say it's a reflection of Jay's. Plus, we don't know what goes on behind closed doors - maybe their relationship was already dysfunctional. Anyway, what I'm saying is if you hang out with neanderthal chumps who haven't changed and show no signs of changing, then you're probably a douche, too. Otherwise, it's a blip on the screen and maybe you can influence the friend to not mess up next time.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 8 years
Sort of.
Jude-C Jude-C 8 years
I have a cousin who says, "The kind of d*ck you play with is the kind of d*ck you are."
lickety-split lickety-split 8 years
haven't seen that episode, but i think if you know a friend is doing (or has done) something that is illegal or deceitful what you do IS a reflection of you. why would anyone want to associate with someone who has standards of behavior that are below theirs? i don't think they would. the saying is "water finds it's own level", and i think it's true.
Jude-C Jude-C 8 years
I think it's true to a point. If a person is willing to put up with friends that are really not nice people, or not honest or respectful or whatever, it shows that they don't value things like niceness or honesty or respect. I wouldn't, for instance, date someone whose buddies were all drunken macho pigs or something like that. But you have to take into account that sometimes friends come from way back, and loyalty is a good thing as well.
MissJules5x MissJules5x 8 years
honestly i think she was a little outta line in saying that to him. he can't help what his friends do and he wasnt necessarily supporting it like she believed he just chose to remain neutral about the situation and not make a big deal out of it. he believed when his friend said he didnt cheat on his girlfriend and its not up to him to get involved in someone elses relationship. you can disagree with what he is doing and let him know that, but its not up to u to control what he does or be upset with someone because their friend is doing questionable things. jay was upset when whitney said that and i wouldve been too. i know if my boyfriend ever said something like your friend is a drunk or acts inappropriately, or cheats on her boyfriend, and he tried to project that onto me, id be really pissed.
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