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You're Ready For Marriage, He's Not, Now What?

You're Ready For Marriage, He's Not, Now What?

Yesterday Jezebel wrote about an article from the New York Post in which Lori Uscher-Pines, the author of The Get-Your-Man-to-Marry-You Plan: Buying the Cow in the Age of Free Milk, offers five dos and don'ts for getting your man to pop the question. Disappointingly, some of her advice seems to promote guilt-inducing tricks, including the following:

Do create some dependency, you scheming bitch. Ha ha, kidding. But really, do this. "Get him to depend on you a little bit," [Uscher-Pines] says, "and then show him what life is like without this benefit." Cook him a gourmet meal every night and then stop. Pay bills and then stop. Get his car inspected and then stop. You're so bad, you're good!

Jezebel's commenters concluded that if you really want to get married and your boyfriend doesn't, then it's best to just end the relationship instead of trying to trick him into it. I wholeheartedly agree, except that I do believe there's a difference between a man who never wants to marry his girlfriend and a man who's just not ready to get married yet. But even still, the question remains: Do you wait?

What's your experience? If you loved someone who didn't want marriage, could you sacrifice your own desire in order to stay with him? Or would you try to get him to change?


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