Romantasy has been having a major moment for a while now, and for good reason. In these books, enemies can become lovers [1] in a matter of chapters, and "shadow daddies [2]" can completely reframe our idea of the word "fantasy." And while many of us enjoy escaping into these books, the genre is also infiltrating our real lives: romantasy boyfriends are raising the bar on real-life partners [3], for example, and certain scenes are popularizing specific sex positions [4].
Yes, romantasy (and just straight romance) books have an outsized impact on culture. But right now, the dating scene is strange, with many swearing off dating apps and looking for love elsewhere. That's why we went straight to the source for real-life dating advice. From Carissa Broadbent — whose Crowns of Nyaxia series boasts a loyal following — to Shanora Williams of "Vicious Bonds" fame, these romantasy and romance authors shared their best advice on dating, relationships, and love.
Take a leaf out of these authors' books — trust us, they know what they're writing about.
Carissa Broadbent
"It feels like a bit of a clich, but people say it all the time because it's true: I found healthy, lasting relationships so much more easily once I knew myself and was no longer bending to fit what I thought the other person wanted. Looking back, I really feel for the younger version of myself who was trying to find my own identity through my partners. No one can do that but you! (Then again, I was never fortunate enough to be carted off by a handsome fey king — but we all know even the fey kings worth having appreciate a self-assured partner!)." — Carissa Broadbent, author of the Crowns of Nyaxia series [6]
Shanora Williams
"I met my husband when I was young, so I've only dated him for the last 14 years, but what I can offer as advice is to be with someone who brings you peace, makes you feel safe, and makes you feel at home when you're with them. Being with a person who makes you feel seen — and brings calmness into your life, not chaos — is who I'd look for." — Shanora Williams, author of the Tether Trilogy [7]
Jennifer L. Armentrout
"If he's not willing to irritate a dragon to bring a smile to your lips, he doesn't get a second date." — Jennifer L. Armentrout, author of the Blood and Ash series [8]
Mikayla D. Hornedo
"Remember that you are the prize, and trust your gut! Waiting for the right person is always better than forcing things with the wrong one." — Mikayla D. Hornedo, author of the Fate of the Acna series [9]
Kimberly Lemming
"If they're mean to service staff or don't take any interest when you show them something you're interested in (Bird Theory), dump them. Life is too short to waste time on someone that can't spare a kind word to those around them." — Kimberly Lemming, author of the Mead Mishaps series [10]
Elle Kennedy
"My one dating rule is: never chase. The right person won't make you play games or beg for attention, and real interest doesn't need decoding. When they like you, you'll know." — Elle Kennedy, author of the Off-Campus series [11]
Rachel Gillig
"Life is as full of quiet moments as it is of loud ones. If you find someone whose quietude gives you comfort, hold on to them." — Rachel Gillig, author of the Stonewater Kingdom series [12]
Brooke Averick
"The only way I can get myself to go out on a date is by pretending I'm auditioning for the role of 'girl going on a date' in a rom com. But that might be bad advice, because you should definitely be yourself, too." — Brooke Averick, author of "Phoebe Berman's Gonna Lose It [13]"
Lena Felton [14] (she/her) is a senior director of special projects at Popsugar, where she oversees sponsored packages, tentpole projects, and editorial partnerships. Previously, she was an editor at The Washington Post, where she led a team covering issues of gender and identity. She has been working in journalism since 2017, during which time her focus has been feature writing and editing and elevating historically underrepresented voices. Lena has worked for The Atlantic, InStyle, So It Goes, and more.