What Women Really Want in Sex Toys

If you're thinking about buying a woman a sex toy, you get lots of points already for considering it. However, making that purchase is a huge deal, and if done wrong . . . you'll risk potentially turning her off forever! AskMen breaks down everything you need to know before you make your sexy purchase.


Buying a woman a sex toy is a bold move, and there's a pretty wide margin of error if you're not careful. Giving her a huge double-ended dildo with five different shaped attachments will probably scare her to death, while a fake tongue may gross her out. And if you give her a life-sized male blow-up doll, forget it — she may even dump you. If you want to surprise her and not have it backfire on you, your best bet is to read on. Here's how to make finding it, buying it and giving it to her a much more seamless and pleasurable process.

Determining Her Toy of Choice

The easiest way to know what she would like is to ask her, but if you are buying her a surprise gift, you will have to make an educated guess. Whatever your woman's overall preferences, they are likely to vary with her mood, so you need to choose a sex toy that will suit the range of her aroused occasions. Your safest bet is to buy something that provides pleasure to all zones at various speeds that offer different levels of pressure.

Here are three basic toys you can't go wrong with:

The Gigi Rechargeable Vibrator From LeLo

Perfect for: Sex-toy lovers
LeLo toys are really well-made, fabulous toys, but we especially recommend the GiGi Rechargeable Vibrator ($112) for her. Unlike everything else on this list, which is designed for clitoral stimulation, this G-spot toy is extra silky and programmed to make her feel insane inside. It comes in a variety of colors, is made from medical-grade, waterproof silicone with about an hour charge life. Plenty of time.

We Vibe 4


Perfect for: Trying something new
Whenever I recommend sex toys for couples, I always suggest the We Vibe 4 ($150-$180). This U-shaped vibrator is designed for you and your girl to enjoy together. Like all new things, it might feel awkward at first, but once you hit your stride this toy will have her satisfied every single time. Insert the wings into her to stimulate the outside and in while you get down, or you can use it on one another individually. All sex toys are created with a part and position in mind, but really you can do what the hell you want with them, so just go with what feels right.

Mia 2 Lipstick Vibrator


Perfect for: first-time users
Normally I am not a fan of ridiculously girlie diamond crusted tampon shields or any hyper-cute sex toys for girls, but the Mia 2 ($69) (despite it's Baby Spice appearance) is a great starter vibrator. It's small and compact like a lipstick for discreet clitoral stimulation with six programmed patterns, 100 percent waterproof and rechargeable. It's just a simple beginner toy that makes a great present for your girl whether she uses it with or without you.

Jimmy Jane Form 2 Vibrator

Perfect for: First-time users and sex-toy lovers
Form 2 is a killer toy by Jimmy Jane ($149). I swear by this vibrator. Mimicking the head of the infamous "Rabbit" (without the giant body to match), the Form 2 has two motors in the ear-like extensions that vibe on contact. It's waterproof with a one-button press to change to a variety of speeds and pulses. Form 2 is great for clitoral and labia play when you are spending time on her. It's a really fun and easy toy to use that I highly recommend for her first toy.

Lelo Siri 2 The Music Vibrator


Perfect for: Trying something new
This oval shaped vibrator is intuitive to sounds: the Siri 2 palm-held massager ($129) responds to music as well as voices. It's 100 percent more powerful an the first model with eight pre-set vibration patterns that are inspired by different musical genres. This sound responsive toy is limitless in what you can do. Obviously, no shouting at first or else her clit might blow right off.

Pure Romance Split Clit Vibrator


Perfect for: First-time users or foreplay
This is really just a two-in-one combination toy ($49) that allows your and your girl lots of room to play around. The bullet is small, classic and easily incorporated into your sexual routine so keeping her clit stimulated is one less job for either of you. Just like your favorite bike from when you were a kid, it's a 10-speed.



Foria ($44) is a product only available in California and Colorado, because this ultra-sleek pre-lube is actually infused with THC. Foria has been extremely successful in boosting post-menopausal women's orgasm rates, but in younger women repeat use has caused more intense and longer orgasms (trust me, I have tried it). This unique product is not a lubricant, but a pre-lube with an ethical purpose of relaxation and wellness. It is recommended your girl sprays it on her vagina an hour before sexual activity or else just mists every morning to keep it active.

Time to Go Shopping: Finding and Buying It

Going into a sex shop can be slightly intimidating, but remember that the staff there are usually very open people who want to help you. It's their job and they like talking about sex and sex toys. It's their bread and butter, dude. The great thing about going into a store is getting great advice and recommendations from the staff, like the best accompanying items and lube (great for enhancing pleasure).

If you're too weirded out to go into the store (boo, you prude), then the Internet is basically your best friend. These days, you can buy pretty much anything online, and sex toys are no exception. We have linked places to find all the above toys, but follow the side bars and see what else is out there. You never know what you might find. Plus, most sex stores offer savings with online purchases.

Don't Forget the Lube

Sex toys are generally more enjoyable, and safer, when used with lube. Lube will ensure that the toy does what it's supposed to do, without causing any extra, unnecessary friction. We have some helpful recommendations that you can cruise through in our handy guide to lubricants. Also, sex toys must be cleaned regularly. You wash your dishes after every use, now don't you?

Bigger Is Not Better

When buying a phallic dildo or vibrator for a girl, don't assume that bigger is better. In fact, it's often the opposite. Because most of their orgasmic stimulation comes from the clitoris, many women prefer to masturbate with something very penis-like in length, girth and texture, if not smaller, like the popular "lady finger" vibe. For this reason, bullets and other curved vibrators are best suited to work with her body to give her the ultimate pleasure.
If you don't know her too well and are guessing what she will like, stay on the safe side and avoid huge double-ended dildos, strap-ons and anything anal. The safest bets are to keep it to well-known erogenous zones.

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