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5 Things Not to Say to a Woman En Route to Her C-Section

Source: Thinkstock/Siri Stafford

Kids may say the darnedest things, but adults aren't far behind. Given all of the stigma attached to a C-section birth, grown-ups sometimes let crazy, judgmental phrases slip from their lips at the most inopportune times.

When an expectant mama is en route to the operating room for surgery, be careful about what words of advice come out of your mouth. Here are our five things we have actually heard come out of the mouths of other moms, and we wish we didn't!

1. Don't worry — you're still a woman even if the baby didn't come out naturally.

Source: Wifflegif

2. At least your vagina won't get all stretched out.

Source: E! TV

3. The baby really doesn't care how it came out.

Source: NBC

4. It's not too late to try for a natural birth.

Source: ABC

5. You'll be up and around in no time.

Source: The CW

Feel free to add yours to the list!

Join The Conversation
FrankiLee FrankiLee 8 years
Unfortunately I had my boyfriend's mother in the labor room (I can't even BEGIN to talk about that!) when the doctor told us I was going to have to go down for a c-section. I had been in labor for ten hours at that point (no epidural yet), and she had the nerve to say to me "Well, the pains you are feeling aren't NOTHING. Try actually pushing the baby out." (bad grammar and all). I still feel my face heat up with rage when I think about what she said! Try having a major abdominal surgery -- those pains are something!!
Moms Moms 8 years
I've heard the c-section comment a lot and often from the very moms that had to get the surgery. In my opinion birth is birth, but unfortunately not everyone thinks that way.
dleighl dleighl 8 years
I was totally surprised at this story. I have never heard anyone say that someone who had a c section didn't really give birth. Either it's a regional thing, or I'm just lucky enough not to hang around people that insensitive.
Lyngay Lyngay 8 years
To those that say they don't know why it feels any different, it just *does*. My daughter is almost 3 and it still hurts to think that I had a c-sec. I feel like an utter failure that I didn't plan things differently or do something differently. I feel like mine was 100% preventable. It would be different, maybe, if it had really been medically necessary.
bessa bessa 8 years
I wanted to have a natural birth SOOOOOO badly. I read books, my husband and I practiced, I had a doula. But I ended up with an "elective" c-section. It never felt like I "elected" it. It felt like everyone was telling me I would risk my baby's life if I didn't have her by c-section. When I changed doctor's to try to have a better shot at a natural birth for baby 2, that's what hurt the most - people always saying "your first was an ELECTIVE c-section." I ended up with another c-section (after 3 days of natural labor at home and another day at the hospital after my water broke). At least that one isn't called "elective." If you know someone who really wants a vaginal birth, I wouldn't say anything about her c-section. Even though I was so excited/supportive/happy for my friends who got to have natural births, it hurt so bad to hear them tell me how magical and special it was watching the birth. I still cry, randomly, when I think about it. Maybe I'm weird. It's just something I really wanted to do. I still do.
Chloe08 Chloe08 8 years
Wow, I cant believe people say these things. I would think a c-section is much worse than giving birth naturally!
Chouette4u Chouette4u 8 years
I have NEVER in my life heard anyone say something like " a c-section isn't birth, it's more like "having a tumor removed."" or "you haven't REALLY given birth."
lickety-split lickety-split 8 years
i never understood why women think it's somehow less "mom-ish" (for lack of a better word) to have a c-section that to have a vaginal birth. when i had my first daughter by then bff had her first a week before me. it was a c-section and she felt really ripped off. she's still irritated that she didn't get to push out her daughter. i don't see how it matters how you gave birth.
meumitsuki meumitsuki 8 years
I hate it when people say "you haven't REALLY given birth."
runningesq runningesq 8 years
It's phrased a little oddly, but The baby really doesn't care how it came out. doesn't come across as particularly rude to me. .. it sort of sounds like "hey, whatever is the best way for you to have a healthy and safe delivery!" That said, all I would say is "please let me know if I can do anything for you and your family"
kristyy kristyy 8 years
I guess it's not so funny when you're about to go in for C-section, but I had to laugh at the "At least your vagina won't get all stretched out" comment.
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