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Constance Hall on Having a Village

Mom Opens Up About the Need For a Village: "This Isn't Supposed to Be This Lonely"

There's no denying that being a new mom is incredibly difficult. It may feel like it's just never-ending vomit, poop, and exhaustion, but one woman is reminding all moms that it does get easier if they stick together during the ups and downs. Australian mommy blogger Constance Hall opened up in a relatable Facebook post that explains just how important it is for moms to find their supportive village.

"I often think about when I first have a baby, how overwhelming it is," she wrote on Facebook. "How some days you stare at your baby all day but haven't enjoyed them once. The constant stress of 'have I bonded with this baby? I'm so tired and resentful, is that normal?' With one leaking tit hanging out of a maternity bra, a flap of empty skin hanging over your nickers and a pad the size of a nappy hanging around your mangled vagina as you run to your screaming baby after daring to put her down and brush your teeth, you don't feel like a miracle . . . you don't look like the photo shoots."

Constance goes on to explain how this unique time is an emotional roller coaster, because at night when you can finally sleep and "by the time you wake up, the miracle of motherhood sets in, you can love your baby, overwhelmed feelings subside for now."


She shares how normal it is to feel this way as a parent.

"It's not motherhood that's the problem, it's the relentlessness," Constance wrote. "Your children aren't the problem, your lack of a village is. You see I read once that mothers suffer the most in the absence of a village. The worst part is that rather than questioning their community they are constantly questioning themselves."

So, what do we do? How do parents eliminate this feeling of loneliness and emotional distress from the journey that is motherhood?

Constance shared her advice: "Grab your girlfriends, hold them close, make dinner together, wash each other's dishes and love their babies like they are your own. We are our village."

It's hard not question yourself as a new mom, but that's what a village is for — to cry, laugh, and understand that you're not alone.

Constance closed her note with a story about her own village, and the laughter it brought her (and us, too). "My all time favorite memory of the first few weeks of motherhood was opening the door, leaky tit hanging out, flap of skin swooping under my top and the sides of a maternity pad sticking out of my undies, to a friend, who took one look at my disgraceful state and we both pissed ourselves laughing."

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