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Cross-Nursing

Would You Cross-Nurse?

You run out for an errand, leaving your friend in charge of watching your baby. While you're grabbing some sundry items, your tot throws a monstrous hunger fit. In a pinch, your friend decides to nurse your child, which instantly soothes him and restores harmony to the house.

What would your reaction be? Watch this video and see how this mom responded to that exact scenario. Then tell me, would you nurse your friend's child or allow her to breastfeed yours?

Join The Conversation
Xaede Xaede 8 years
First and foremost, Greggie's breastfeeding decisions are between her and her pediatrician. No amount of internet trolling should affect that. And here's a direct quote from the website I posted below.. "How long should a mother breastfeed? The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that breastfeeding continue for at least 12 months, and thereafter for as long as mother and baby desire. The World Health Organization recommends continued breastfeeding up to 2 years of age or beyond." On topic... I feel unless it is a very close friend you have discussed cross-nursing with and trust, it should be avoided completely. Issues such as prescription medications, recreational drug use, and virus transmission such as HIV or Hepatitis C make it too dangerous for me to ever consider.Though there is a small risk of transmitting diseases through milk, it's a risk I'd never take. If you need more info, check out the Center for Disease Control and Prevention. http://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/faq/index.htm Another good website is The LeLeche League. Though they can be a bit fanatical at times, most of their information is good. http://www.llli.org/
Great-Sommelier Great-Sommelier 8 years
No one on this thread has said two year olds are too old to nurse. The common consensus seems to be 3+.
Mommy-of-Three Mommy-of-Three 8 years
I don't understand why it is disturbing or inappropriate for a 2 year old to ask to nurse but alright for them to ask for food, drinks, or anything else. My almost 2 year old asks to 'nurse please' and I let her. I do not let her pull down my shirt but I consider that to be teaching manners, as in, ask for something nicely, which she is learning. Disturbing, inappropriate? Not at all.
joygwilson joygwilson 8 years
and one note before I leave this post never to return- breastfeeding is wonderful. it is how a woman's body was designed to feed her children. go for it! I have no problem with it. my final thought is that cross nursing is absolutely, without a doubt, disgusting, inappropriate, unnatural, etc. I will never do it, nor would I want to associate with those that do. it creates an unnatural attachment between child and breast that is not intended. what would happen if a child preferred someone else's breast to its own mother? how sad that would be. gross. nasty.
joygwilson joygwilson 8 years
steviasweet- in response to your comment about my comment- I am not ignorant nor am I stupid. I am fully aware that a child, a baby, will cry when they are hungry. Obviously! When I say "ask for it" I dont mean cry. I mean, verbally ask. Verbally reach up and pull down mom's shirt knowing what hides underneath. I worked at a portait studio in Atlanta for a few years that photograhed families and children. many, many moms would breastfeed their BABIES in between sittings. One mom came in with a two year old, and she crawled up in the moms lap, pulled her shirt down to expose her breast and asked "ok, mommy I gonna eat now" and the mom let her. Honestly- that is disturbing. I know the child has no idea that is inappropriate, but the mother does. shame on her.
macgirl macgirl 8 years
Wow this thread got off topic really fast mostly thanks to someone calling loving caring moms "nutso". I wouldn't cross nurse mostly because I didn't get to traditionally nurse my children and was only able to pump and bottle feed breast milk for less than two months both times. I don't have any issues with formula and find it a fine alternative to breast feeding. Obviously some would disagree but the fact that I have a brilliant 9 year old and a thriving 6 month old I have evidence to support my choices (oh and before you poo poo, I was nursed for 2 weeks and formula fed, gasp in the 70's when it was even less refined and I'm doing fantastic as well). I used to be in the camp of the "no nursing past one crowd" and one of the moms on lilsugar posted a comment that contained something along the lines of how heartwarming it was when her little daughter would come up to her and say the word "nuss" and it changed my mind. Who am I to say it's wrong? It didn't work out for me in a way I would have liked so I never made it to the point where I had to make a choice or let the cards fall where they may.
Great-Sommelier Great-Sommelier 8 years
Point out one post where anyone said bfing in general is gross.
YayaOzoHead YayaOzoHead 8 years
Wow, I'm just shocked at the negative reactions on here to breastfeeding. There is nothing gross about giving your child the best nutrition possible.
bluesarahlou bluesarahlou 8 years
Hmmmm....maybe it was the formula industry...
bluesarahlou bluesarahlou 8 years
I've said this on a previous post...my mom and her circle of close friends cross-nursed us kids all the time. I don't see anything wrong with it, as long as the person offering her boob is someone I know. And wasn't the whole reason humans started drinking cow's milk because of a campaign AGAINST breastfeeding, because it was originally thought to be less beneficial? Which has since been completely debunked. That's what breasts are for! Feeding babies! I'm not positive about the specifics...I'll do some research...but I'm pretty sure that's where it came from.
Greggie Greggie 8 years
I'd already stated that my feelings on peer pressure, I didn't think you needed me to state it again. We had no problems whatsoever with daycare and my nursing 2 and 3 year olds. They never asked to nurse there, and the other kids couldn't have cared less the one or two times it was mentioned. "My very first sentence was that humans are the ONLY organism that drinks milk outside of infancy. And it isn't my point that it should be switched at two, it is the American Acadamy of Pediatrics. If there is no difference between a child who is formula fed and one who is bfed past the age of three, why take the risk of damage to your child?" Am I supposed to refute the first sentence? Because animals don't, we shouldn't? Animals can eat their young as well, or toss them out of a nest if they're not healthy. I don't follow their lead. And like I said, there's nothing to refute about AAP recommending the cow's milk change, but cow's milk and breastmilk are not the same. AAP does recommend the change, however they do not recommend weaning at the same age. There are "at least" recommendations for nursing, but not weaning as there is from cow's milk. There is no risk of damage for my child nursing until they're three or more. I believe my children are better off having nursed for their individual times, but that doesn't make them better than other children. Just a better choice for us.
star486 star486 8 years
I completely 100% agree SugaSuga
Great-Sommelier Great-Sommelier 8 years
And, I will repost this as you didn't answer about the negative effects this could have on the child. "That is why I said two. There is no reason to bf after that. The child can get all the nutrition it needs from eating real food. No one said the mothers were avoiding giving their children other nutrition. But by three the child should be learning to choose nutritious foods like any other child or adult. Kids by three are quite intuitive and realize what is happening in the world around them. They already get their feelings hurt. My nephew knocked his front tooth out on the coffee table when he was two, and by three other kids were making fun of him, and he would cry. Many three year olds are in preschool, that adds a peer factor that was mentioned earlier. This opens a whole new can of worms. There are millions and millions of children who are formula fed from birth who these children who are bf until 3+ are no healthier than. It seems selfish and purely for the mother's benefit of holding on to their child and keeping them in baby type terms than just letting them grow up. To everything turn, turn, turn, there is a season, turn, turn." Do you think there are no social risks to breast feeding that late? You admiting that the children are no healthier, so why risk it?
Great-Sommelier Great-Sommelier 8 years
My very first sentence was that humans are the ONLY organism that drinks milk outside of infancy. And it isn't my point that it should be switched at two, it is the American Acadamy of Pediatrics. If there is no difference between a child who is formula fed and one who is bfed past the age of three, why take the risk of damage to your child? Seems pretty selfish to me.
Greggie Greggie 8 years
Oh wait, there's the cow's milk past two point as well - I don't think cow's milk is ever necessary, so I can't refute your point that it should be switched at age two. We use cow's milk, but that doesn't mean I think everyone has to do so, a balanced diet doesn't require it. We simply make it a part of our balanced diet since my children like it. However, breastmilk and cow's whole milk aren't all that comparable in that point. Breastmilk isn't dairy and contains immunities that cow's milk doesn't, and as someone pointed out, changes constantly to give the child what they need. An age where whole milk becomes more than what a child need isn't the same as breastmilk. A child doesn't NEED either milk, but that doesn't mean it's not still healthy and helpful.
Greggie Greggie 8 years
Great Som, your points are all opinion, what am I supposed to refute? I'd already stated my differing opinions. I mean, there's the whole thing about the World Health Organization recommending it to two and then as long as is mutually desireable, but that still leaves "after two" to an opinion and personal comfort level of what's desireable. There isn't anything new there - we disagree on what's considered appropriate. I don't think formula fed children or children nursed for shorter amounts of time are less healthy, less intelligent, less stable. I never even implied that I do, so that's a part of your post I cannot refute either. There is the refute of breastmilk being glorified sweat, but you didn't say it and others had already covered it.
Great-Sommelier Great-Sommelier 8 years
Suga, mom's need time too. There are tons of us on here who have kids. Sometimes you catch us during nap time or when they are otherwise occupied. Just needed to clear that up!
Sugasuga29 Sugasuga29 8 years
And Greggie...if you have all these children...why are you spending all your time online responding to all of us instead of taking care of them?? :) Just curious!
Great-Sommelier Great-Sommelier 8 years
Greggie, I see you didn't refute any of my points.
Sugasuga29 Sugasuga29 8 years
Some of my earliest memories from age 3. I was running, talking, chewing food and in the very beginning stages of learning to read. THANK GOD my mother was not so inappropriate as to still be breast-feeding me at that age so I have nothing like that to try to block out now! At some point you have to wonder when Child Protective Services steps in and says "Hey, your child's preschool teacher reported your child is continually asking to suckle at school." And yes, I believe it's universal except for some remote cultures--nobody wants to look at 300 lb. women's boobs...or men's for that matter.
Greggie Greggie 8 years
"Human milk is little more than glorified sweat." And that is why a debate with you is pointless. Facts don't matter. Sugasuga, so if a child can talk at age 9 months, they should be weaned, whereas another child who doesn't talk until 18 months is ok? Why is talking the cut-off? CPS gets many calls from those who think it's disgusting and abusive to breastfeed at age two or three. There's no basis for a report, and CPS knows that. People are welcome to think it's always done because Mom refuses to give up. They're wrong, but they're welcome to think it. If you don't want to breastfeed your children that long or at all, you're no better or worse a mother than I am for nursing them until they're two or three. I appreciate the input from all, it's been very interesting to see the different viewpoints.
Sugasuga29 Sugasuga29 8 years
Everything that Hitthatsmybike said is dead on (other than the chemical makeup of breast milk). The same mothers that breastfeed their children to the age where they can verbally ask for it are the ones who have the problem, not the child. They don't want to "let go" of that bonding between them and their child. After a child is up running around, talking and has the ability to chew food....you gotta ask at what point Child Protective Services gets called in. Disgusting. My earliest memories were from age 3 and that is NOT a memory I would want to recall if my mother had been so inappropriate as to still be breast feeding me at that age.
Great-Sommelier Great-Sommelier 8 years
That is why I said two. There is no reason to bf after that. The child can get all the nutrition it needs from eating real food. No one said the mothers were avoiding giving their children other nutrition. But by three the child should be learning to choose nutritious foods like any other child or adult. Kids by three are quite intuitive and realize what is happening in the world around them. They already get their feelings hurt. My nephew knocked his front tooth out on the coffee table when he was two, and by three other kids were making fun of him, and he would cry. Many three year olds are in preschool, that adds a peer factor that was mentioned earlier. This opens a whole new can of worms. There are millions and millions of children who are formula fed from birth who these children who are bf until 3+ are no healthier than. It seems selfish and purely for the mother's benefit of holding on to their child and keeping them in baby type terms than just letting them grow up. To everything turn, turn, turn, there is a season, turn, turn.
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