Friends, there's an epidemic upon us that an alleged 10 out of 10 parents are suffering from. It's called "PAR-ENT-ING," and it's not something to be taken lightly, as it can lead to "extreme debt" and "loss of self-identity." If you are a parent and "suffer from headaches, chronic fatigue, and Moana on repeat," you may need this (hilarious and very fake, but kind of real in theory) medication: AphukenbrakE [1].

AphukenbrakE, pronounced exactly how you think it is (a f*cking break, for those who suffer from a lack of quick brain function due to aforementioned chronic fatigue), "lets you step away from it all" with varied results and side effects, including "a sigh of relief, decrease in blood pressure," and time to hang out with your friends.

Like with all medications, AphukenbrakE has a specific set of guidelines to ensure its proper use. Although you may operate heavy machinery on AphukenbrakE, you should not take AphukenbrakE if there is no one watching your kids or if you've taken one in the last 24 hours (or if your spouse needs one more than you do).

Parenting, ahem, "PAR-ENT-ING," as the (genius but still very fake) commercial states, "isn't easy." So take AphukenbrakE.