I am a lazy dater. By lazy, I mean I don't put in the real effort required to make online dating work. As a single mom, I should cut myself some slack. I have a lot of other things on my plate and to be completely honest, I love how my life is going as of now. I love my friends, kid, work, and social life — OK, so some weekend nights, I'm stumped on whom to go out with if I am kid-free — so why complicate it with a man? Enough said.
But of course, the idea of romance and love still appeals to me. The idea of intense online dating? It does NOT appeal to me. The reality is if you want to succeed with online dating, you've got to go out with a plethora of frogs to meet any potential partner, and right now, I have taken a slight back seat to swiping left and right and mindlessly texting guys who I will probably never meet. When I get a match whom I am not crazy over, I decide to not meet him and, instead, go see friends.
The truth is that random person I passed up may have been a great match for me, but if I'm not wowed, I would rather have wine and conversation with guaranteed good company than potential awful company. At this point, I'd rather meet someone in real life anyway:
what an oxymoron considering I'm a single mom.
Among the men I am meeting both via online or when out at a bar, I've got single dads, young guys, creepy men, and lifelong bachelors inching their way into my section of the dating pool. The creepy men are an absolute no, and the lifelong bachelors are just as frustrating as they were when I was single, before my divorce. The young guys are absolutely hot and sweet (yeah, I said that), but how seriously can I take these young studs? I can't. So one thing to strongly consider, single moms who are out and about in the dating pond, is to find a single dad for your next mate.
If we're talking straight talk here, the idea of blending a family terrifies me.
I am having a hard time staying sane and knowing what to do with a new woman in my daughter's life. Adding a man and his kids to my mix? Well, it makes me nervous. Blending families can be wonderful but also complicated. Yet dating a single dad makes so much sense.
- Availability: The single dad understands when you can't go out on a date, or you have to cancel last minute because your kid is sick, or your ex is sick and needs you to take the kids, or some other random situation. A man without kids may not be as understanding or as patient.
- Experienced: The single dad will be (hopefully) great around your kids because he's been there and done that. How nice would it be to have someone else you can turn to for advice and support regarding your children?
- If You Want More Kids, He May Be Game: The single dad may want more kids, and at least he's not a Spring chicken when it comes to handling babies and toddlers.
- Same Life Path: The single dad will understand many of your troubles and issues because he is either experiencing them himself or he has gone down those roads before. He's in a similar stage of life as you, and you should have a lot of common ground.
Still, a part of you may worry about how it would be to blend the two families. Instead of worrying about that on the first date, though, why not put those thoughts to the wayside and reflect on them if the situation presents itself? Instead, go out to enjoy another person's company.
The biggest snafu in dating another parent, however, is making sure your custody schedules don't clash. I have been down this road in which someone had his kids when I did. This can make things tricky, but when you meet the right person, I truly believe that things work out simply because it's right.