Every mom wants to give a new baby a warm welcome, but if you’re having a second, third, or even more children, do they warrant a baby shower? Mom Samantha A. doesn’t want to commit a social faux pas, yet she also doesn’t want her second child to be short-changed of precious memories with family and friends. “I don’t mean to sound greedy, but I feel like the second child is getting ripped off” without a shower, she says.
So, what's an experienced mom-to-be to do? Our community is full of recommendations!
Many members say it’s not “proper etiquette” to have two showers because “it’s kind of rude to burden those who are close to you and burn them out . . . unless someone’s insistent on throwing the party for you,” says Amber D. A shower is generally held to welcome mommy into motherhood, “and provide you with all that you need to do the job right,” Tammy M. explains. Because parents typically receive the basics with the first shower, when you have subsequent babies, “I reckon its asking a bit much” to hint that you want more goods, Shannon P. says.
Of course, even conservative moms say it’s ok to break with tradition and have additional showers on certain occasions, such as when the new addition is the first of an opposite gender, there is a long break between the birth of your kids, or it’s the first baby with a new husband, Tracy P. says.
“I've always heard that there is a shower for the first baby, and then again if there is a five-year or more gap, or if the baby is of a different sex. Of course, this is just a ‘Miss Manners’ suggestion, not a rule,” Paulette B. adds.
Keep reading for more thoughts on second showers.
Go Ahead and Celebrate
Several moms point out that traditional rules have changed, so it’s more than OK to have a second shower. “Why not have the party?” Sylvia H. asks. “Onesies and socks that were worn for six months straight tend to get pretty worn out.”
And while Malia G. believes moms shouldn’t ask for or expect a second baby shower, if friends and family want to throw a party, there’s no reason to turn the offer down.
“I truly think having a shower for your [second] baby is fine, no matter how much you have left over from the last baby,” says Antanequa H., who had baby showers for all four of her sons. Nowadays, there’s even a name for subsequent showers. “A ‘sprinkle’ is a celebration of the pregnancy and new birth,” Rachael M. explains. “You still register for what you need/want because so many things change.” Generally, people give things like diapers, wipes, and baby bath items instead of big gifts at a sprinkle, because it’s assumed that mommy got most of those necessities from her first baby shower, Kelsey S. adds.
Consider a "Meet the Baby" Bash
For those truly worried about ruffling feathers but who still want a party, then some moms suggest you have a “meet the baby” bash for everyone to celebrate and meet the baby after he or she is born. Such a soirée eliminates the “expectation of gifts, and you get to celebrate your new little one,” Belinda L. explains.
The choice of whether to have a second baby shower is really up to you, based on what you feel comfortable with, says Becky P., who has four children but only had two showers. Just remember that whether you have a traditional party or not, “There is nothing wrong with celebrating a new life at any time!” she concludes.