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Effects of Spanking on 5-Year-Olds

Spanking Leads to Later Aggression

Five-year-olds who are spanked are more likely to be aggressive and break rules later in elementary school, Today reports. According to a study published in Pediatrics, there was no link between spanking by parents at age 3 and children's later behavior. However, kids who were spanked at age 5 were more likely to score lower on vocabulary tests, act out more, and be more aggressive. "We know that spanking doesn't work, we know that yelling doesn't work. Timeout is kind of a mixed bag," says Elizabeth Gershoff, a researcher at the University of Texas at Austin. However, "We know that reasoning does work," she says.

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AmberMoody1365895273 AmberMoody1365895273 3 years
All I know is my 7 year old son is a happy and very intelligent child and does not get spanked. He has a 5th grade reading level and is in the second grade and I don't spank. I already knew that spanking has damaging effects because my mother decided to spank my son one time when he was 2 years old while watching him, and he was agressive and mean for months afterward, not to mention he held a grudge toward her for just as long. Even seeing a mother spank her child moved my son to start screaming at this woman in wal mart telling her that she's only spanking her son because she doesn't know how to talk to him. I'm not going to judge every single situation out there, but from experience, you can raise a happy bright child without laying a finger on them. As for other children, I have seen the result of these overly aggressive kids taking what they get at home and bringing into the classroom like it's okay to hit another child because of what they get at home.
ChristinaKurtz ChristinaKurtz 3 years
Sorry for the bad typing, not easy through then phone
ChristinaKurtz ChristinaKurtz 3 years
Kimwhitney I am angry abiut this this cause im sick of hearing other parents lecture and criticized about their parentung skills . Also the while yiu saying I spank in anger is incorrect because ine yiu don5 know me or my family. I spank when needed and when I di I am not angry 8m disappointed it had to come to that and my boys do know better the oldest more. My oldest knows not ti it and the difference and he has been hit at school and he goes and tells an adult. People need to stip judfibg others and parent their own what works fir them. I know of abuse npersinally from my birth mother's5hers family and I had friends whi were abysed. There is a difference people. Children are being abused and its not spanking. You go look ar a child wwhohas been hit not spanked hit, broken ribs, burns, raped and not just physical but mentally abused verses a child whi gets spanked on the but for not listening when needed and you cone back and tell me who is abused. I had friends who have been abilused and myself when I went and visit my birth mother and I cab tell you the difference. I didnt tell my dad ir grandparebts till I was older but I get upset at parebts who use the word over simeines chouce of of discipline that in no way is abuse. I want eople to stop telling other parents what wrong and right for their child. Only a the parent knows what is best for their child.
shawnnlively73341 shawnnlively73341 3 years
Tealrose, we all know that you have SERIOUS issues about spanking as a disciplinary measure. But now you've also shown that you have serious issues with respectful communication as well. WE GET IT!!! You hate your parents because they were harsh disciplinarians. That's YOU. My parents were also harsh disciplinarians, and I love and respect them dearly. I spanked my kids. They have above average IQ's, one is a successful adult while the other is holding an above average GPA in HS. NEITHER ARE VIOLENT. Neither have self esteem issues, neither is an abuser of any sort. Of course, neither am I. I AM A PARENT. I do what is necessary to keep my kids/family safe, secure, and growing. I would be interested to see the statistics on these kids in the 'survey'. Do they have social interaction disorders? ADHD? Aspbergers? (although my eldest has mild aspbergers, and still didn't make him violent or stupid) How are their needs met on a daily basis? What is the family dynamic, and how does that play into their behaviour? Sorry, but I call BS on the "survey". All around me, every day, I see fully functioning intelligent adults who were spanked around the age of 5...and none of us are axe murderers, or sociopaths. TEALROSE, you need to agree to disagree. And get some counseling. I don't criticize your parenting, but you certainly must be high up on your pedestal to slam on everyone else's!
CoMMember13631165135055 CoMMember13631165135055 3 years
I personally think it all depends on the child and their personality type.
Dionne30063 Dionne30063 3 years
I don't believe this is the conclusion of a full study into it. Our parents and most likely some of us commenting were more then likely spanked as a child as it was more acceptable back then its what happened to naughty children got a slap or going back to our parents generation probably a caning. Have they taken into consideration that some of the children in their reports that were smacked as a child may have had ADHD or other home problems to cause them to act out. was the spanking just a quick smack or a beating. I think there are more variables and that this article is possibly taken out of context rather then just as a black and white that if you spank a 5yr old she or he will score lower on tests and become aggressive. there are loads more factors to take into consideration to impact a childs personality in such a way to cause behavioural problems in later life. Diet, friends/social activities, family life, quality of living, nature of the spankings. and i saw someone bringing up video games and films again. no violent video games and films don't make a child agressive, again its about the upbringing and age you are allowing them to become exposed to such things, most violent games and films have an age rating of 16-18 if your darling 8yr old is playing them and starts lashing out in school thats your own fault younger children need an adult to explain the things they have seen and that its just a game/film but more important don't expose young'uns to content they are to young to watch but again there is also many other factors to take into consideration with that one also.
VanessaBradley33004 VanessaBradley33004 3 years
Im a preschool teacher in Australia so I understand the benefits of reasoning with your child as we are not aloud to physically hit or hurt chn but with my own child there are just times when reasoning snd time out judt don't work and yes I do smake my child. Some times children need that to realise the serious consequences of their actions. I find that sone tined parent s who only use reasoning with their chn dobt know what is serious or dangerous as the consequences to their actions arnt shownvto the child
TealRose TealRose 3 years
Too funny Erin??? What is funny about an article explaining how damaging it is and wrong it is to hit a child? Children between 2 - 3 are learning - they are WIRED to be 'defiant' as you see it in your eyes - and ... what gives you the right to HIT them instead of teaching them right from wrong calmly, gently, with love and care, with respect and by demonstration?? Perhaps a lot of parents today really should be given lessons in kindness and childcare ....and age related behaviour.
Erin14990179 Erin14990179 3 years
That's funny because I've always said you if spank between the ages of 2-3 they won't need any spankings later. I only spank in cases of defiance.
Gwennyco Gwennyco 3 years
Ahh, yes....that explains why I had such poor vocabulary and aggressive behavior. It all makes sense now! Whatever.
MelissaAN MelissaAN 3 years
Timeout didn't work when my kids were old enough to be reasoned with. I acknowledge their feelings and correct the behavior. I tell them, I understand that they are tired/angry/sad but they cannot hit/yell/etc. It works and I have 2 respectful children ages 4 and 6. I grew up in an Asian household which was incredibly strict and you had to choose between a belt or slipper (flip flop) for your punishment. It instilled fear in us and instead or acting out we were more likely to hide rule-breaking behavior. I believe each parent should do what's best for them. I found this works for me because I don't want my kids to live in fear as I did.
kjforce kjforce 3 years
Children learn more and faster from imitating ( acting out ) rather than the thought process. Bullying could possibly become an end result... Any form of physical punishment can be misinterpreted and can cause humiliation/self-worth by the child and the pain is temporary, whereas take away a privilege or isolate in a room ( without toys, or things they like to do ) this is devastating to them and they will remember it . I have seen children act out their frustrations with toys , pets and other siblings, so I have never been a fan of any physical form of punishment... besides sometimes adults can be frustrated and hit harder than they realize...just my thoughts
StephanieSanchez40776 StephanieSanchez40776 3 years
I am a mom to three beautiful, smart, and respectful young boys ages 9, 8, and 4. And yes we do use spanking... only when it is needed. The type and intensity of the correction is as individual as the child and the infraction. Children need discipline and structure. And when that discipline is given out of love then that child can learn from the experience and grow. You want to say that children who are spanked become more aggressive and struggle more in school. Then check their home life. What is going on at home besides spanking? Does that child feel loved by their parents? Are they even receiving any instruction on proper behavior or are they just getting spanked? Don't criticize my parenting choices which are obviously working for my children, when some one else obviously chose the wrong ones for their children.
TealRose TealRose 3 years
"I believe that a lot LESS, not MORE parents spank their kids these days, out of fear that they will have their kids taken away." ..... You really think a 'lot less' spank now than before eh ?? So ... with the actual figure of about 92% of children in the USA being spanked today - you believe that other 8% are the ones causing all the violence, hate and other crimes today ?? No .... spanking has dropped very little in the States. And in the States that still allow paddling and who spank more than others too - the rates of crime and violence are higher and the rates of good education are lower. It speaks for itself. But what frightens me as a 59 yr old grandmother who was spanked is that anyone NEEDS a 'study' to tell them NOT to hit their children. I don't need one [and most likely neither do you] to tell me not to hit my husband, boss, friend, the lady in the supermarket or my elderly parents and other elders - and I certainly don't need one to give me a reason NOT to hit children who are smaller, more vulnerable than adults and who are learning 'how to grow up' and do NOT have fully developed brains as we do.
TealRose TealRose 3 years
"No-one should critisize another parents parenting" eh ?? So ... I guess that you'd be fine if no-one had stuck their necks out a few decades back to say how wrong it was to allow a husband to beat his wife ?? Meaning that you would still be subject to your husband 'spanking/hitting you - for your own good' ?? You can do as much as you like for your children 'out of love' - but the minute you lay a hand or 'implement' on a child - or hurt them mentally or emotionally - you have stepped over the line into abuse. If it's abusive to hit an adult - how much worse is it to hit a child - and yes, spanking IS hitting. You impact your hand [or worse] on your child and that is hitting. Even the dictionary says that spanking is hitting. How you can't 'hit' when spanking is beyond me! No one 'has' to spank. No one 'has' to be spanked. You can't teach a child respect if you don't model it - and spanking isn't respectful and doesn't teach anything good. Not spanking doesn't equal no discipline. Discipline meaning to teach and not to hit. Why hit a toddler - who doesn't understand why mummy/daddy dearest has just hurt them for normal toddler ie age related behaviour ?? I took responsibility on myself to keep my children safe from fires, ovens, cookers, sockets and roads etc. I didn't turn it around and punish a child for my lack. As for those 'last resort' spankers - what are you going to do when IT doesn't work - and may even be making the situation worse ?? Hit harder? Longer? Use an 'implement' ? OR .... are you actually going to get some help in your parenting methods or even for your child? If so ..... why not do that BEFORE you get to hitting that child ?? Put it this way. If you are in the office .... or at home .... and your boss or husband comes in and finds they don't like your work or the way you are 'acting' then .... would you be ok with them hitting YOU? If not .... why not? If it's 'good enough' for children ... it should be good enough for you .... We continue to learn all of our lives after all ....
CoMMember13631175843727 CoMMember13631175843727 3 years
I believe that a lot LESS, not MORE parents spank their kids these days, out of fear that they will have their kids taken away. So, for our "statistics" to say that the world is becoming more violent but spanking is the "cause" is ridiculous. Our country is becoming much more liberal in general, which means that parents are more likely to be laissez-faire parents and allow their kids more freedoms. Unfortunately, these children aren't always developmentally able to deal with these freedoms. It's easy to forget, though, because these kids are getting bigger in general, so it's easy to forget how young they still are. I don't focus on other parents' discipline styles, because I have my own. I don't have to discipline my child at 4, because I have an easy child with an easy temperament. I think every child really is different, and I'm certain that parents know their kids enough to know what works for them and what doesn't. These studies are getting out of hand, and they're meant to control other people. Someone doesn't like spanking so they write this very biased "study" without any real evidence. We really need to take control of our own actions and stop putting any stock in this crap.
KathyGibson70768 KathyGibson70768 3 years
In my opinion, not every kid is the same. For some, one thing may work and for another something else may work. For my kid, we use sticker charts to reward him and we take toys and privileges away when he has acted wrongly. This is what we have found to work out the best. As far as reasoning and just talking it out with a five year old, I question that one. I think we need to remember that parenting is a hard job and most parents want what is best for their child and are trying to find out what is for their best before we just judge. Another thing, no matter what you do, be consistent!!
Malinda14903055 Malinda14903055 3 years
I'm a 37 yo mother of 6 and a grandmother of 1. I was "spanked" when I was little, so were my siblings and none of us exhibit aggression like that in our adult yrs. I "spank/ed" my kids. My 19, 17 or 14 yr olds have NEVER gotten into fights @ school. Neither have my 6, 4 and 3 yr olds. My two younger sons are aggressive by nature bc their dad is tht way. I let my kids know im not their friend im their mom. I tried time out, had 0 success with it. Tried taking away things, 0 success. Tried talking to them to explain wat they did, 0 success. So "spankin" was a last resort. It worked. I believe this article is complete bulls**t. Its giving parents an excuse not to b parents but friends with their kids. I seriously doubt tht whoever wrote this article has ever tried to reason with a toddler. Kids need and want discipline and its up to us parents to give it to them. Everything i do for my kids is out of love and they know tht. Parents do know their kids and they can decide wat punishment is right for them givin the situation tht deserves punishment. With tht being said, how do u explain the kids who have loving parents who give them the world and treat them like royalty and they end up lashing out @ everyone, esp their parents, and they have never had a hand laid on them??
KaraLanoue KaraLanoue 3 years
Because you can reason with a 5 year old...Each child is different. As should be their individual punishments. First and foremost NOONE should criticize another parents parenting! Trying to lump all children together and say spanking doesn't work or time out doesn't work is why we have a world full of disrespectful self absorbed children with no manners!
CoMMember13631189244843 CoMMember13631189244843 3 years
Talk about defensiveness! Whoa! I spanked mine ( in their 30's), but, followed psychological advice to stop before the age of 6. I am not proud of this. It takes alot of thinking and working with kids to develop effective consequences rather than just instilling fear through spanking. It's really easy to spank, but hard to work up a program that requires the child to think through his actions. No, I don't think all who are spanked are abused, but it's the easiest ticket for the parent. There are too many statistics that back up controlling yourself in a situation that would normally require you to spank, thus causing the parent and child to work through the problem without spanking. Give it a try.
kimwhitney6985 kimwhitney6985 3 years seem very angry and defensive. al though I agree there it's a difference between a spank and abuse,I still don't agree with spanking. my feelings are parents do spank pout of anger just as I punish out of anger. you are angry because he did not listen to your earnings so you wind up hitting him. so when that child is in school and another child won't listen to his warnings he will hit also because that's what he learns. children learn what we teach them. consistent is the key along with punishment/ time out. it's not easy being a parent and u have to try many things to see what works. but again it it's obvious from your post that it triggered some anger in you. relax enjoy life everyone is entitled to an opinion without being verbally attacked.... have a wonderful day. .BTW I have been a sham for 21yrs, divorced when I was pregnant with my 4th child, my oldest was 8. lost both my parents within 2yrs off that , and managed to never spank my kids.. today I am happily remarried and my youngest it's 13 and my oldest is 21. I am so proud to be thier mom!!
ChristinaKurtz ChristinaKurtz 3 years
Okay for you parents who want to say spanking is abuse and is teaching hitting, and cannot mind there own damn business. Butt out of other people's business and mind your own. How dare you sit there and judge others parenting skill, worry about your own. Every child is different and you go with what works for YOUR child, not others YOURS. I was spanked as a child and I was spanked rarely because I knew better. I never once thought it was hitting, it was I didn't listen and got warned and kept doing it and end up getting spanked. So don't you dare sit there and tell me my parents abused me, they did not abuse me in any way. You sitting there ranting about how spanking is bad and it teaches them to be violent and hitting and blah blah blah. You saying this is saying my parents abused me, well you can go take your preaching and preach to someone who cares what you have to say. I turned out great, I didn't go out doing what other kids did, I spoke to my parents and my elders with manners and respect. I graduated and got good grades, went to college and earned my bachelor's degree, got married and have two beautiful amazing boys 5 and 2 years of age. I only spank if I have to and I do talk to my boys, time outs, take toys away and I follow through and sometimes a pat on the butt gets them in line. I do not leave marks, do not spank in anger, and he tells me all the time I am the best mom ever and that he loves me so much. I get told he is respectful and has manners, sometimes he test me but when I spank I do it when it is needed That is not abuse and you parents who want to judge others over that, go do it somewhere else if you want to judge and call other parents bad parents because we do not do it your way. EVERY child is different and what works for your child may not work for others. Spanking does not always work on my oldest and times it does but he has never said you hit me and anything like that. Look out how the kids are today, and I have seen kids act out in stores so bad and the mom is sitting there trying to talk to them and won't take control. Talking does not always work and if does for you great and I am glad but don't sit here and put other parents down, you worry about your own. I smacked my sons hand one time and my husband goes you can't do that and I got nasty looks because of it well if anyone ever comes up to me saying it is abuse or I will turn you in. I will say go ahead because I don't abuse my child and there is a difference between spanking and abuse and what will end up happening is me suing you for false assumptions and causing my family to go through bull shit because you don't approve of spanking. There are real children out there that are being abused and we need to look out for the ones who are and not parents who spank not abuse there children because using the word abuse is serious people. All you parents who spanking may work for you or you use it as last resort, do what you need to do because you are the parent and not their friend and sometimes a pat on the butt needs to happen. For all you parents who talking or time outs work for your child and you do not have to spank, keep doing what is best for your child and that is great you don't have to because not one parent likes to spank and if we had a child that we didn't have to spank once in a while it be nice. For the ones who like to judge others and put moms down and like to use the work abuse and hitting and its not love, worry about your own kids and not others. You are not perfect and it is not your job to judge nor tell other parents that's not love and your a bad parent. A bad parent is not giving a crap about what your kids say or do or how they behave and trying to correct. it. I love my parents and my two boys and I will not let them turn out how kids are today, I want them to learn and grow being open minded, respectful to others.
SylviaKoehnlein SylviaKoehnlein 3 years
I see absolutely nothing wrong with giving your own child a spanking. However... that does NOT extend to teachers , neighbors, etc. hitting your child! A spanking should only be given by the mother or father, in ANY situation! I don't even spank my grandkids! There are plenty of other disciplinary punishments others in authority can do! In school, kids hate having to stay after, or getting extra homework! Taking away their I Pads, TV privileges, giving extra chores... these punishments also leave a lasting impression. ........ Also, I was spanked (rarely) as a child, and it did NOT turn me into an aggressive child or adult! I also didn't break the 'rules' at school as I got older! If anything, I was studious, got good grades, and got along well with my teachers and fellow students! The same held true for my daughter! She's a fine woman, married and raising 3 a loving home. The kids know that , if it's deserved , they will get a spanking... But it is NOT the primary punishment. Taking away the TV, Ipads, , no friends over..... all are punishments they hate. Take a look at some of the teens today ......they have no respect for any adults, they'd just as soon run you down at the mall, then step aside.. I know, because it happened to me! They almost ran down my granddaughter too.... Just my opinion, but I think too many adults are trying to be 'friends' with their kids, instead of being the guiding parent.
MeredithGregory14230 MeredithGregory14230 3 years
Are these the same people who claimed that violence in movies & video games didn't make children aggressive & violent, not to mention desensitized to it? I'm sure some still think that way. I have varied feelings on discipline but I feel some occasions may warrant it. It's up to the parent who knows their child(ren), and it should be a very last resort. It's lack of any kind of discipline that produces the kind of kids we have today. Too many parents want to be their child's friend. A parent & child can be close but never cross that line where they can do anything they want as long as you two are 'buddies'. You are the parent and you must be in control. Children, whether they realize it or not, want boundaries. Those that have none have said they feel that their parents don't care enough about them to tell them what is acceptable. Some even say it can get them out of a tough spot with their peers by saying their mom or dad won't let them do 'it'. It gives the child a way out without making themselves look like a weenie to their friends. My last comment is one I feel passionate about - When your child gets into trouble, be there for them, stand behind them, BUT see that they take responsibility for their actions. I just cringe when I see or hear parents defending their child and/or making excuses for them. Some have perjured themselves by lying about their child's whereabouts when they broke the law. "Oh, my child would never do anything like that!" The truth is they might do that, discuss the evidence and go from there. When an officer said to me about my son's misdeeds, that's what I said. He was 10 then and he suffered the consequences for it. He also learned that I would always be beside him for support.
TaliaHarman1371637326 TaliaHarman1371637326 3 years
Parents these days wrap their kids in cotton wool, drive them where they need to go, give them cellphones, give them all the latest mod cons and think they are doing their kids a favour! There's a huge amount if young people unemployed because they are too lazy. Maybe if they had parents who had taught them to be independent and actually disciplined them and yes spangled them when they were young they might get off their arses and get a job. There's a shortage of hard working labourers, maybe mothers need to harden up and realise treating your boys like girls isn't going to do them any favours!!!!! Spank if they are naughty when they are young, you might save them in the long run! Seriously! Women are so soft these days!! Being back the old days when kids had respect. Who are. You mothers to judge with your namby pamby theories!!
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