Hooray! You just gave birth to a baby. Whether it's baby number one or baby number four, a new baby brings such joy — and such chaos — to a house. It's hard to keep it together when your hormones are still ruling your body and you're dealing with a labor or C-section recovery. A girl needs to have serious backup, and by backup, I mean some kick*ss friends who can keep you from blowing your cool (tears are a definite that first week — an anger explosion could be avoided!) that first week you bring a new baby home. Meet your four must-have mommy friends:
The Hippie Mom
The hippie mom is mellow and believes that mother knows best at all times. Even if you're going to bottle-feed, the hippie mom friend will back you from the ledge when you're about to choke your partner or scream at your toddler for breaking a crayon. Hey — hormones are a beast sometimes, especially in that delicate week after birth! Hippie mom friend will have solutions to all of your problems, whether it's a kid issue, life issue, or domestic issue. And expect that her solutions will be something that no one else has ever heard of — yet each solution will work.
The added bonus of hippie mom friend is she's not embarrassed by your gross body functions. So if you've got hemorrhoids post labor, cracked and bleeding nipples, or some serious heavy bleeding still, throw your questions and miseries at hippie mom friend. She's at one with her body, and won't mind being at one with your body problems postbaby. Trust me — you will be grateful she added a little "om" into your first week back!
The Mom of Many
If she has more than one child, she is not fazed by anything. She could walk in and find your kid conjuring up Satan, and she won't bat an eyelash. This is the mom you should call on if you need someone to watch your other littles if you've got them — or this is the mom you should call if you're a first-time mom and have a million questions. Oh you will, trust me. She won't get frustrated with you and you're never bothering her. She's happy to feel needed and dispense her pearls of wisdom, of which she has many.
The mom of many is the mom you ask to come over and help you. She might bring her kids, but don't worry. She'll have them occupied and helping out if she absolutely must bring them. Do you want to take a nap for an hour? Or are you starving? The mom of many will whip you up a meal or snatch the baby from your arms and shoo you into your bed. Don't worry either about your baby — the mom of many is a pro!
The Truth-Telling Mom
Even if you have a kid already, each kid is different and so you're bound to get into some new situations with baby number two, three, or four. The truth-telling mom is not going to sugarcoat anything for you, and as much as that may seem harsh for the first week postbirth, it's actually helpful. Who needs to hear a bunch of lies like, "Sure the baby will sleep through the night really soon!" Instead, the truth-telling mom gives it to you straight alongside a dose of practical advice.
She's the one who will never judge you but also never smile and nod if you're acting like a complete lunatic thanks to our friends, the after-birth hormones. She will grab you by your shoulders whether literally or metaphorically and say, "Get it together, girl!" Take on this practical mom and you'll be in good hands!
The Sweet Domestic Mom
Sweet domestic mom won't interrupt your rhythm when you first get home from the hospital. She likes to let you get settled in instead. Rather, you'll find sweet domestic mom bringing you baked goods and meals right to your door and then hustling away. And everything she makes for you will be 10 times better than you could have made yourself, even with hours of preparation. She will remember your kid's food allergies, remember your food preferences, and will bring this to you in BPA-free packaging. She might even let you keep the Tupperware . . . but probably not.
Sweet domestic mom is also a soothing friend. She will tell you to hush when you cry looking at your body postbirth, wondering how the hell to get back to where you were before pregnancy. She is the one who will tell you you're not a bad mom if you screamed at your toddler for waking the baby and the one to hold your hand if you just feel like sobbing for a few hours.
Sweet domestic mom friend is the kindest of all and will always be there for a hug.
If it takes a village to raise a child, it takes at least a small group to support a mom. With these four women in your postbirth arsenal, you will be ready to conquer all problems whether big or small.