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Full House: How Many Kids Is Too Many?

Full House: How Many Kids Is Too Many?

Sure, having a lot of kids may get you a reality TV show, but would you be able to handle all the criticism?

Many members of the Circle of Moms community say large families are not for them. When Elise B., a mom of three, recently asked “How many do you think is enough?" the most common answer she got was two. As Ashley L., a mom of two herself, shared, two is “more than enough.“ But like Michelle Duggar, matriarch of America’s most famous big family, other Circle of Moms members yearn for more children. 

All in Favor of Large Families

Duggar recently told the TODAY show that 19 is just not enough. And seven is not enough for Circle of Moms member Joyce M., who is pregnant with her eighth child. She says others do not respond very kindly to her large family. "What I hate the most so far is the reaction I get from people when we tell them no we are not baby sitting, [that] these are all our kids and we are having another one," she says.


Some Circle of Moms members who are on the road to large families say they are driven by their religious beliefs. In Aubrey B.'s household, for instance, there is no discussion about how many kids is enough. "We have never set a number...My husband and I are both from large families and love it. We have an almost 2-year-old boy and a 4-month-old girl right now. I know we will have more, but I don't know how many more. Our parents both let God take that over (how many kids to have) and so far that is what we are doing."

All in Favor of Small Families

In contrast, among moms with plans for smaller families, a hard-nosed assessment of the time, resources, and energy they can provide for each child tends to reign supreme. Mom-of-two Jessica C. speaks for this camp when she says, "As long as you have the love and the finances to support a large family, go for it. Each family is different, some want one kid, some want six. I know my family is full at two kids."

Age is another significant factor for many. "My decision was made primarily due to my age," explains Shauna C., who just turned 40. "I know people can have kids later but I know my body well enough that once this next one comes along (we are still trying), we will be done."

Live and Let Live

To each his own, stresses Valerie W. “Just as each person is unique, each marriage and family is unique,” she says. “The right amount of kids for one family is completely different from the right amount for another. The challenge is not judging other families when their 'right' amount is different from yours."

Many Circle of Moms members agree with Valerie that it isn't anyone else's business how many kids you have. As Lynette B. explains, "As long as you can afford them and as long as you can spend quality time (and love) with them, then the number of children you have is up to you."

If resources were not an issue, would you have a larger family?

The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

Join The Conversation
patriciacoffee9500 patriciacoffee9500 5 years
should be each family's own individual choice how many kids they have
SarahC2435 SarahC2435 5 years
My husband and I want 4-6 kids: two or three biological and two or three adopted. When our brood is older, we would also like to consider adopting an adolescent sibling set out of the foster care system (which is how we are proceeding with our first adoption currently), but only if they express a desire to have a permanent long-term home. Otherwise we might just take in one or two teenage mothers who need a support system to get them started. We'll see how it plays out. We feel very strongly that older children need the benefits a family can provide too, but that very few families open up their doors to them. That seems unfair. We want to have parented teenagers of our own first, though, so that we have some idea of what to expect and how to handle some situations.
wolfcat87 wolfcat87 5 years
1 child is just the right amount. The child gets everything it needs and more plus if hardship comes up the child won't suffer as much. You cannot give more than one child everything that you can give one child. Your undivided attention is the best catalyst for child development. I hear people try to argue otherwise, but it's simply impossible unless you are inattentive in the first place. Two children is stretching things. More than two is ridiculous unless the first children are older and you are adopting or something because then it's still just selfish IMHO. Adoption is selfless.
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