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Girlfriends in the House: When Your Ex-Husband's Girlfriend Parents Your Kids

Girlfriends in the House: When Your Ex-Husband's Girlfriend Parents Your Kids

Girlfriends in the House: When Your Ex-Husband's Girlfriend Parents Your Kids

Thanks to the bizarre antics of Charlie Sheen, the perennial debate over whether or not an ex-spouse’s new girlfriends should get involved in parenting has bubbled to the surface. Moms everywhere shuddered when Sheen’s two 24-year-old porn star/model girlfriends, “the goddesses,” pronounced on TV that they’re assisting in the day-to-day childcare of his twin two year-old sons.

Sheen can insist that there’s nothing wrong with that picture, but authorities removed his two sons from his custody, and a growing number of divorced Circle of Moms members disagree. They say they worry about how their own children fare when they’re with their ex-spouse’s new love interest.

Why can’t the girlfriends just leave the kids alone? is the collective cry of moms in Circle of MomsMoms Dealing With Divorce community.


Jessica W. says she worries about the influence of her ex-husband’s live-in girlfriend (who is also her former friend) on her daughter, Lexie.

She's not good with kids. I\'ve seen how she treats his nieces and nephews and I don\'t like what I\'ve seen,” she says. \"What scares me is her being around Lexie, my little girl.”

Sherilynn D. doesn’t like having to deal with her ex-husband’s 20-year-old girlfriend’s immaturity: “Every time I have to talk to him on the phone she has something rude to say,” writes Sherilyn. “When our kids go to visit him she makes rude little comments. I don\'t do baby momma drama, so I don\'t know if I should just let it go or if I should say something. It\'s really starting to get to me.\" Though there is not much a mom can do to change who is in her ex-husband’s company when he\'s with the children, here\'s some advice from Circle of Moms members that may be easier for a mom to cope:

“Hang in there!!” says Sarah F. “Unfortunately you have no say when you child is at their father's house in who they hang out with. Don\'t let her words get to you. My ex\'s once told me that she was a better mother to my son than I was. Guess what, my son hates the lady. The only way you will be able to keep her from your child is if you can prove her unfit. Good Luck.”

Carol M. assures moms that the girlfriend won’t be loved more by the child: “No other girl is going to replace you in your child’s life. You are the only woman and mother in your child’s eyes.”

In the controversial bad boy Sheen\'s case, a judge called a halt to the \"goddesses\'\" involvement in his sons\' life, and police removed the twins and issued temporary custody to their mother Brook Mueller.

What do you think? Should an ex-husband’s girlfriends be involved in parenting your children?

The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

Join The Conversation
Angelle14964340 Angelle14964340 3 years
I am a mom in the same situation. I have been divorced since 2007 and separated since 2004. My ex-husband and his now wife got together a few months after our separation. At first my only concern was if she was nice to my kids and how she would treat them. I heard through the grapevine she was a responsible adult so I was relieved about that and when i met her for the first time I asked her how she felt about my kids. She assured me she was ok with everything. For many years I trusted her more than my ex, although he made sure we didn't communicate but a a handful of times. Then she got pregnant, and all of a sudden my kids are not welcome at her house and she merely tolerates them. I am saddened at the sudden change of attitude, she believes her son is above my kids, and apparently this is common. I don't think people really think though the whole blended family thing, she should have taken into account what it means when you marry someone with kids. There is no room for jealousy.
Chrisdee Chrisdee 4 years
I believe the root of the issue is that many girlfriends, new wives, and ex husbands fail to acknowledge one significant fact, the girlfriend/new wife is not the child's mother. There is a significant difference. And yes, I grew up in a successful step family with half siblings. What I have come to observe is that failure to acknowledge that you are there is a big difference between being "my father's girlfriend or wife" and my mother is the major cause of most contention in blended families.
MeganNibbelink MeganNibbelink 5 years
My son was only seeing his dad every other weekend, my only problem with the new, live in girlfriend I've never met, is that my 2 year old son had to share his father's attention. He already has always had to compete with the computer and video games. I always felt like I was forcing him spend time with our son, and since I told him that, he hasn't bothered to try and see him or even call more than a handful of times this six months.
CoMMember13613658935939 CoMMember13613658935939 5 years
It completely depends on the entire situation. Hell, growing up, I used to even spend time at my step sister's Dad's house. In the situation regarding my son, I am not as comfortable with his girlfriend being around. However, I have sole custody because my ex is an abusive alcoholic, who only sees his son in the presence of his mother. I trust her completely. So as long as she is around, I don't care who he brings over. I only distrust his girlfriend because she is a self proclaimed alcoholic, like him, and I worry that it's not the only thing they have in common. So in short, yeah I don't want her taking care of my son, but honestly I don't want him taking care of my son either. That being said, my current boyfriend has been there for my son since he was born, and when I finally had the courage to leave my ex, my boyfriend (was a friend for years before I ever met my child's father) he just stepped up, and took the role. Is my ex pissed that my son calls my boyfriend Dad? Of course. Is my boyfriend for all intents and purposes my son's father? Yes. So it's a two way street. Like I said at the beginning of my novel here (sorry to all of those still reading) it all depends on the situation.
I Hate His/Her Ex is a book for anyone having difficulty coming to terms with their partner’s past relationships - brilliant read! Available on Amazon or most bookstores - Kindle or paperback!
CyndelSchafer CyndelSchafer 6 years
I really dont know how I feel on ;this subject. My ex's new girl is raising my babies cause he refuses to even give me my court orderd visitation. I dont mind her raising them if she is doing a good gob. The only thing that i have a problem with is when they call her mom and that she is teaching them to call me cyndel and that I hurt their daddy. She has no right to do that. But other than that I would not mind for the other women to help raise the kids.
ChrissyCooper77355 ChrissyCooper77355 6 years
Yes, if she is an active person in your childs life then she should be involved in parenting the kids. I am the other woman as well with 3 of my own kids. When my bf's son comes and visits, I take care of him just like I do with my own kids. I met my bf when his son was 9 mos old and I have played an active role in his life ever since. (he is going to be 4 in a week) This is how I see it..... as a BM, I have no problems if my ex's gf wanted to speak to me, or pick my kids up from my home with or with out my ex, I know that she wouldn't hurt them, I know that if I asked her to pick them up from school, that she would do it, but wouldn't do it just because she wanted to. Everyone needs to be on the same page if we are going to be in the kid's life....
JessicaParker JessicaParker 6 years
yes of course, if the women is able to take care of a child then yes, I am the other women i been with my fiance since jan 1 06 and when my fiance 2 son comes over with his older sister i have no issue being a part of their lives, i love them why would someone refuse their child to have a healthy relationship? If i was on drugs, had no parenting skills or was mean to children then of course take my own bio children away. Id figure a father should have just as much say in their childs lives as a mother if he was sain anyways charlie lol is a different case, but how does his new gf career make her a bad women to watch these boys?
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