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Give Up Your Dream Because Your Husband Said So?

After living the life of an officer-in-training —running hurdles, shadowing a patrol, even enduring pepper spray — on The Secret Life of a Soccer Mom, Jeannie McCoy declined the scholarship and spot in the police academy that she was offered at the end of the show.

To see how her husband influenced her choice,


While the stay-at-home-mother of four did struggle during the rigorous training, wanting her children to know that they could do anything, she fought through proving to be one tough cookie.

It is understandable that this mama wants more quality time with her kids, but it seemed like it was her obstinate hubbie, Pete's stance on the issue that seemed to cement her decision.

While Pete is already a police officer, he certainly didn't act like a gentleman barely acknowledging her accomplishment and providing no support. And, considering that Jeannie stood by her man back when he was in the academy, at the very least he owed her a lil R-E-S-P-E-C-T!

What would you do if your partner tried to persuade you from following your heart?

Join The Conversation
amber_castaldo amber_castaldo 9 years
Yeah, my husband helped me make the decision to stay home.
phatE phatE 9 years
running, she wasn't talking about after the fact..
runningesq runningesq 9 years
"women are "required" to "sacrifice" when starting a family because a) men cant breastfeed and b) alot of men dont get paternity leave, so the women is the obvious choice to stay home dont you think?" I understand that it is more "natural" for women to stay at home if they are breastfeeding and have maternity leave. However, from what I understand, most women don't breastfeed after the age of 1-2, and don't have maternity leave past a few months. So -- why is it the "obvious" choice for women to stay at home AFTER the child is finished breastfeeding and maternity leave is up?
phatE phatE 9 years
caterpillargirl - well said!
CaterpillarGirl CaterpillarGirl 9 years
women are "required" to "sacrifice" when starting a family because a) men cant breastfeed and b) alot of men dont get paternity leave, so the women is the obvious choice to stay home dont you think? I applaud this guy telling his wife No, two people in law enforcement is too stressful a situation (believe me we have cops in my family) and he is just looking out for his families welfare.
aembry396 aembry396 9 years
I agree Akpril...everyone makes sacrifices when children come into the picture. Also, don't shoot the messenger: some guys have the temperament and desire to be stay at home dads, just like some moms do not. I don't know if it is genetics, upbringing, social stigma that comes with it, but there are only a few guys I know that would be great stay-at-home dads and they are making ways for thier wives to be the primary bread winner. They have what works for them.
AKirstin AKirstin 9 years
Ugh. Just...ugh.
Akpril Akpril 9 years
I don't watch this show, but there had been a quick recap on this site before where the husband was encouraging her to go and she was all wishy-washy about it. From a quick judgment she didn't seem like she really wanted it all that badly. It seemed more of some hope or interest, but not something she jumped at the opportunity for. I don't think it's only women who are asked to give up their dreams. How many of us get to be famous artists or rock stars? There comes a time where we often have to grow up a bit and be more responsible, especially if we have families. My husband and I have both had to make adjustments of the futures we envisioned, but have been able to find other things that are practical and still make us happy.
kikidawn kikidawn 9 years
You are right runningesq! I took a Sociology of Gender class last semester and only 2% of men with kids are SAHDs!!!
runningesq runningesq 9 years
phat and geek -- I meant it as a kind of 'in general' question. It does seem that it's more common for women to give up on their careers than for men. While they are more SAHDs now, they are definitely in the minority. It seems like kind of a given that if someone has to stop working, it's 'automatically' the woman.
phatE phatE 9 years
running - who are you asking? if you're talking to me, i never said that. i am just talking about the show, and their situation. families in general make sacrafices when having children.
runnergeek runnergeek 9 years
good point runningesq..why is that?
hausfrau hausfrau 9 years
I've never even heard of this show! I gotta start watching this!
runningesq runningesq 9 years
And why are women the ones who expected to make sacrifices when starting a family?
phatE phatE 9 years
I am confused, was it his aloofness that made her not go for it, or something else? I agree, if he had attitude about her accomplishments, that's just stupid, but not wanting her to step into that line of field w/ 4 kids makes sense to me (especially with him being in the same line of work). Police work is putting your life on the line for others daily, and it's a huge risk. With 4 young children, I could see why he'd have an issue with that, especially if it wasn't 100% necessary for her to work. I understand dreams and passions, but you sacrifice certain things when you start a family.
MarinerMandy MarinerMandy 9 years
I could never marry someone who would be so dismissive of my dreams. I understand that you have to take your family into consideration when you have one, but from the synopsis it seems like it wasn't a family decision.
kikidawn kikidawn 9 years
I chose to change my career plans because *I* wanted to... I thought through it and decided that *I* wanted to be with my (eventual) family. But if my s/o told me to not do it you better believe I would be all over his butt. I support him in everything he decides is best for him. He better support me. I do think you should talk about things that affect you both -- like career plans, and we did when I decided to change mine. But ultimately it should be up to you.
aembry396 aembry396 9 years
I didn't watch the show...and obviously him being non supportive is not cool if she really wanted to do it...but I have many couple friends who met while either training to be officers or while officers and most of them made a mutual decision when children came that it is too hard and dangerous a job for both parents to do. Also, does the scholarship cover daycare? That could be hard to swing on a police officer's salary.
JennyJen2 JennyJen2 9 years
To begin with - I wouldn't have a partner that didn't share or support my dreams! Yes - my hubby gives his opinion - but realizes that in the end we need to do what makes us happy. I let him follow his dreams as well! It is what works for us.
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