Halloween [1] can be a very spooky holiday [2] (there's never a shortage of haunted houses, scary stories, and horror movies [3]), but when you have kids, it's fun to lighten the mood a little to give things a less terrifying spin. And to them, there's really nothing not to love about Halloween. They get to dress up in awesome costumes [4], walk around their neighborhood with their friends, and get free candy [5] all night long! And since kids love jokes — both hearing them and telling them — we've put together a great compilation of kid-friendly Halloween ones. They'll make you a hit at your kids' Halloween party [6] and make them a hit with their friends at school. Keep reading to see them all now, and prepare to do your best evil "muhahaha."
Jack-o'-Lantern Jokes
These jokes are sure to put a smile on your child's face that's bigger than a jack-o'-lantern's!
- What are jack-o'-lanterns afraid of? Things that go pumpkin the night.
- How do you fix a broken jack-o'-lantern? With a pumpkin patch.
- What do you call a pretty pumpkin? Gourdgeous!
- Why was Cinderella not very good at softball? Because her coach was a pumpkin.
- Why was the jack-o'-lantern afraid to go on the roller coaster? It had no guts.
Haunted House Jokes
These not-too-scary jokes about haunted houses are great for kids.
- What do they have to drink in haunted houses? Ghoulade.
- Why are haunted houses so tall? They have hundreds of horror stories.
- Which haunted house room do ghosts never go into? The living room.
- What kind of TV do you find inside haunted houses? Big scream TVs.
- What's for dessert at the haunted house? Booberry pie.
Skeleton Jokes
These silly jokes about skeletons are sure to tickle your little one's funny bone.
- What was the skeleton's favorite musical instrument? The trom-bone.
- What do you call a foolish skeleton? Bonehead.
- When does a skeleton laugh? When something tickles his funny bone.
- Why didn't the skeleton dance at the Halloween [8] party? He had no body to dance with.
- What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? Spare ribs.
Witch Jokes
People may think your child put a spell on them for making them laugh (and cackle, perhaps) so much with these charming jokes about witches.
- What do you call a witch at the beach? A sand-witch.
- What was the name of the witch with one leg? Eileen.
- What do witches put on their hair? Scare spray.
- What subject do they teach at witch school? Spelling.
- Why won't a witch wear a flat hat? Because they see no point in it.
Vampire Jokes
Make sure you start these with "I vant to tell you a joke! Bwahahaha!"
- Why did the vampire get kicked out of the house? Because he was a pain in the neck.
- Why did Dracula take medicine? To keep from coffin.
- What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher? Lots of blood tests.
- What is a vampire's favorite fruit? A neck-tarine.
- How does a vampire flirt? She bats her eyes.
Werewolf Jokes
These werewolf jokes are sure to have your kids howling with laughter.
- What do you call a werewolf with a fever? A hot dog.
- What happened when the werewolf swallowed a clock? He got ticks.
- What do you call a werewolf with no legs? Anything you like — he can't chase you.
- What did the clown do at a werewolf's party? Had them howling all night.
- Where do werewolves hate shopping? The flea market.
Candy Jokes
Here are some sweet jokes about Halloween [9] candy to share with your Baby Ruth — or whatever their name is.
- What kind of bear has no teeth? A gummy bear.
- What kind of candy would a drowning person like to have? A Life Saver.
- What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? Chocolate Chip Wookiee.
- What is a leopard's favorite candy? Dots.
- Knock, Knock "Who's there?" "Ben." "Ben who?" "Ben waiting to get candy all day!"
Monster Jokes
Even monsters would let out monstrous laughs when hearing these funny jokes.
- Who did Frankenstein take to the dance? His ghoulfriend.
- What type of monster loves dance music? The boogeyman.
- Why wasn't there any food left after the monster Halloween [10] party? Everyone there was a goblin.
- What did the critics say about Frankenstein's art project? It's a monsterpiece.
- What is a monster's favorite cookie? Ghoul scout cookies.
Black Cat Jokes
Your child will have good luck sharing these puuuurfect jokes about black cats with their friends.
- What did the black cat have for breakfast? Mice Crispies.
- How did the black cats end their fight? They hissed and made up.
- What is a black cat's favorite color? Purrrrrrple.
- What is cleverer than a talking black cat? A spelling bee.
- Why don't black cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
Ghost Jokes
Your little guy or ghoul will be the life of the Halloween [11] party when sharing these friendly ghost jokes.
- What's a ghost's favorite dessert? I scream.
- What did the ghost say to his sweetheart? You look bootiful tonight.
- What kind of streets do ghosts live on? Dead ends.
- What's a ghost's favorite game? Hide-and-go-shriek.
- Why did the ghost stop telling jokes? Too many boos.