You're a new parent — congratulations! Gone are the Wednesday-night happy hours you attended on a whim and sleeping in on a Saturday mornings only to wake up and watch Netflix on the couch all day. Life as a new mom or dad definitely takes some getting used to, and it'll more than likely involve spending a lot of time fantasizing about the way things used to be.

In this video, Hamish, a new father, calls up a "parent fantasy hotline" and absolutely loses his mind at a childless man's idea of an "unremarkable weekend" — he received a text on Friday night to go to a pub, "just went," and stayed out past 1 a.m. without worrying about having a hangover because his Saturday was "free of commitments."

Watch the video to see their hysterical exchange for yourself — if you're a new parent, you're going to want this hotline's 1-800 number.