Skip Nav
These Are the Things You Can (and Should!) Throw Out of Your Kids' Rooms Right Now
Woman and Her Fiancé — a Paraplegic — Hilariously Announce Unexpected Pregnancy
Staying Sane
15 Ways Breastfeeding Completely Messes With Your Sanity

How Did You Feel After the Birth of Your Second Baby?

Someone once told me one is none, two is 20, and three is insanity when it comes to kids. I'm not sure I believe the saying because things ran much more smoothly when we brought my son home from the hospital.

My husband and I were no longer first-time parents — we knew which brands of diapers, burpers, and bottles to buy, and our daughter was eager to lend her lil helping hands. Our family of four was out shopping and to dinner two days later. The hectic part came only once my son was almost a year and off running. I've been on my toes ever since. As babysugar approaches her due date, are there any lilsugar readers that want to share their second child experience?

Photo © Laurie O’Brien 2008

Join The Conversation
Moms Moms 8 years
greggie - I agree, my daughter looked so small when we dropped her off with my parents as we drove to the hospital to have our son. Then when she came to meet her brother, it was like she was already raised! Truly amazing how that happens:)
macneil macneil 8 years
My second is due in a couple of weeks. I'm terrified. Because this time around I know how important it all is - it's a different kind of fear from the first time around, which was also frightening, but a fear of the unknown. I was scared I wouldn't love her. Now I'm scared of how much I love her. I was scared that my life with my husband would change - now I'm scared that my life with my first will change. I'm scared that I won't be able to cope.
kindo1313 kindo1313 8 years
Oh, and as far as feeling guilty about not giving as much time to the first? It totally happens. No matter which one I'm attending to, I sometimes feel guilty about not being with the other one. In those times, I just remind myself that I'm not taking anything away from either of them--I'm giving each of them a sibling that they will have even after I am gone. I love the closeness I have with my siblings and I'm so happy that my kids now have siblings to rely on too.
kindo1313 kindo1313 8 years
I think 2 is actually easier than one--partly because my 1st was a challenging baby, and partly because I feel much more comfortable in my role as a mom. Don't get me wrong, I often feel as if I'm going crazy, but I've felt that way ever since my 1st was born 2 years ago!
graylen graylen 8 years
As far as loving the first more, I've always loved the saying "love multiplies, it doesn't divide." All of my friends with multiples felt this was true. I help (A LOT!) with my niece and nephew and I do think it's shocking how different babies can be. I think just opening your mind to new timeframes with milestones, sleep patterns, etc is very helpful.
MissSushi MissSushi 8 years
I dont have two, but my mom was talking about this not too long ago. She said that it got easier for her after the first, and after the second, but once she got to four it was awful, but then my youngest sister had severe colic. She said having 3 was SO easy for her. I was the oldest and extremely eager to help and play with them. Theres 3 years between me and the 2nd, and then 11 months to the next. The last one is 7 years younger then me.
macgirl macgirl 8 years
I too thought my new son would be the same as the first. Boy was I in for a world of hurt ;-) While 5 years might be a good gap, going 9 years like I did was too much. My boys are in two very different worlds right now. Trying to cart one off to baseball, basketball or soccer while juggling naps, diapers, bottles and pureed food has been a challenge. In some ways I imagine having them closer together is very helpful. As far as being a second time mom some things are easier as I don't stress as much. Other things are harder as I am stretched very thin. I can't even imagine trying to juggle a third at this point.
Spiderlove Spiderlove 8 years
Mine are 5 years apart, boy first, girl second.... they were both very different babies, but I'm glad I didn't have them closer together...I think with the second you at least have some sense of what to expect, which is nice.
bluepuppybites bluepuppybites 8 years
Oh I can't wait for our new child to come. I'm exciting!
lickety-split lickety-split 8 years
i think it totally depends on the temperament of the children. my second baby was so easy going and slept a lot. i had to buy a baby monitor because #2 wouldn't cry when she woke up to eat, just gurgle and then after a few minutes she'd stop even if you didn't come in. with my other 2 they woke up screaming at the top of their lungs to be fed. it did get hard when #3 was about a year old because she was walking and into everything and my #1 (had a diagnosis of autism by then and) wasn't responding to her name or "stop". going out because almost impossible. whatever the situation, it won't last long. in retrospect each stage will look differently. it might seem like it lasts forever, but they pass.
Greggie Greggie 8 years
meandtheo, that's REALLY common with the second. I was terrified I'd never love anyone as much as I loved my first son. My sister, mother to four, eased my fears and rightfully assured me that you love two just as easily as one. I didn't find going out hectic until they got older and both had to be corralled.
meandtheo meandtheo 8 years
i only have one..but my neighbor just had number two and i saw her the day before the scheduled C. she was a mess, crying and so sad for her older daughter. she knew in the end it would be fine but she felt sad to be giving her time to a new baby and not focusing all the attention on her. it was heartbreaking really...she is still in the hospital so i am not sure how she is doing now.
jessie jessie 8 years
first....i healed faster after the second child after giving birth. then after coming home.....2nd child's tempermant was soooo different then 1st child was when he was a baby. i really don't know why i was expecting them to be the same. as far as going felt like it took forever to get things ready. so much stuff to take with us. once we had our 3rd...i thought 2 kids were a piece of cake
Roarman Roarman 8 years
I thought, oh yeah I got this in the bag. I've already been through this I know what to expect. HA! My 1st child, my daughter, slept through the night at 6 weeks old, never cried, was always happy and content. My 2nd child, my son, complete opposite. He cried 23 out of 24 hours unless he was attached to my breast, because oh no, he would not take a pacifer. Two hour nursing sessions were pretty normal for us. He Slept about 7 hours a day for the first 9 weeks. But then everything calmed down and he turned into a mostly normal baby. And now that he is 16 months old, I have a whole new set of troubles. Sorry if I scare any of you. Just remember you make it through.
Greggie Greggie 8 years
The main thing I was thankfully warned about and now warn other people is that your first child will suddenly look HUGE. It's kind of a bittersweet moment to watch a child go from the baby to the big brother/sister. Good luck!
nevadamtnbear nevadamtnbear 8 years
Since I'm expecting #2, I'm eager to hear people's comments. From what I *expect* - I think things should be a little more manageable given the fact that we have a nearly 4.5 year difference between #1 & #2. By the time the new little one will be racing around, our son will be (and is) old enough to be more responsible for himself and such. But, I know there are plenty of unanticipated events and changes sure to happen.
roxtarchic roxtarchic 8 years
i thought the same think kikidawn... & i cant wait to read the comments on this one
kikidawn kikidawn 8 years
Wow that is a precious picture :)
The Break Womb Video About New Mom Friend Dates
How to Adjust to Being a Stay-at-Home Mom
Parenting in a Big City
Mom Shuts Down Mom Shaming in Facebook Post
From Our Partners
Latest Moms
All the Latest From Ryan Reynolds