For many young sibling pairs, if one were to hit the other — even by accident — the other one would either be well on their way to tell mom following initial contact, or immediately pounding their sibling back. But for a kid whose "decision tree" is going viral [3], there was a third, more bleak option.

Let's back up for a minute.

In a post to the HowToBeADad Facebook page, a "How Would You Decide" worksheet supposedly filled in by a 3-year-old (the kid definitely isn't 3 and everyone in the comments is making sure to note this as well, so let's just agree to ignore that part) is being simultaneously laughed and cringed at due to the young child's, ahem, honest responses.

At the top of the worksheet, the child lists their problem as "My sister socked me in the nose," followed by important information: "My sister is littler, it hurt." From there it only gets more real — and more dark.

Option A: Punch her lights out.
Positive Consequences: I will be happy.
Negative Consequences: I will get in trouble.

Option B: Tell on her.
Positive Consequences: She will get in trouble.
Negative Consequences: I will be a tattletail (sic).

Option C: Lock her in the closet.
Positive Consequences: I will never see her again.
Negative Consequences: I don't see any.

His final choice? Option C, of course.

Although he left the "Factors influencing me" section blank, if this isn't the definition of Oldest Child Syndrome, we don't know what is.