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Kids Say the Funniest Things

Kids Say the Funniest Things

There's nothing like an unexpected one-liner from your child to remind you how fun it is to have kids. Here we've rounded up some of our members' best stories about the funny things their children have said.

1. Sex Ed

"We have twin boys [who] wouldn't stop asking EXACTLY how the Labrador dad got the lab in our 'Labradoodle.' This was the moment we were waiting for to explain the birds and the bees. I didn't expect to be alone with them in a drive through. After my 'sex education 101' in a chicken joint parking lot, they sat open mouthed and silent. There [were] head tilts and scrunched noses and finally one of the boys said, 'Aren't you glad you only had to do THAT once to get two babies?' -Abbie of All that makes you...

2. Five Senses of Bananas

"The other day my 6-year-old said, 'Mom, I don't like all five senses of bananas. I don't like to taste them. I don't like to smell them. I don't like to see them. I don't like to feel them.' 'And you don't like like to hear people eat them?' I asked. 'I don't even like to hear people talk about them!' he said. I guess he really doesn't like bananas!" -Gina of I Choose Joy!


3. Baby Almonds

"The absolute most hilarious thing my daughter ever said was when she was around 2 years old. Myself, being a vegan, I wasn't crazy about the idea of her drinking cow's milk, so I tried one day to introduce her to almond milk. I told her, 'Cow's milk is for baby cows, not people, so I want you to try this almond milk and see if you like it.' My little 2-year-old answered back, 'Is that what baby almonds drink?'" -Boho Mom of Bohemian Single Mom

4. Manners

"When my son was little, and he sneezed, he would say, 'Splash You.' Quite descriptive. . . . My youngest once crawled into my husband's lap and tenderly told him, 'Daddy, your breath not stinky today.' The ultimate compliment!" -Lisa Smith Molinari of The Meat and Potatoes of Life

5. Life-Changing Decisions

"Here's one from our 6-going-on-14-year-old daughter: 'I just made a decision that could be life changing. I'm going to start coloring more with crayons than markers.' I guess if your life consists mostly of coloring, I can appreciate that. :)" -Lynn C.

6. Whoa!

"I was getting ready to get in the shower when my 3-year-old son busts open the bathroom door and yells 'Woah, BIG BOOTY!!!'" -Alexis R.

7. Talking Too Much

"The funniest thing my twins have ever said (and they still say it all the time) is, 'Mom, you talk TOO much!' - it's funny because they are 100% right! I'm a talker - as a mom, for my work, and in life. I love to chat." -Laura Rossi of My So-Called Sensory Life: 365 Unexpected Gifts from Motherhood

8. Out of Nowhere

"My 11-year-old makes up all these weird stories, like how Betty White drinks a half gallon of pure evil every morning before a jog." - Veronica

9. Public Bathrooms

"While in a stall in a busy public restroom with my 3-year-old, she loudly annouces that 'Mommy has a penis!' I started giggling before I could correct her and then she says, 'No, I mean Mommy has a big vagina!' The ladies' room erupted into a cacophony of laughter. I was mortified." Shannon Lell

10. Just Asking

"My son asked me the other day, 'Mum can I have a baby sister?' I said no, you already have two big sisters. He turned to me and said 'Oh well I just thought I'd ask. You don't get anything if you don't ask so just thought I'd ask.' Then he just walked away, leaving me laughing." -Lindsey W.

Image Source: iStockPhoto

Join The Conversation
Emily15380282 Emily15380282 3 years
One day my little two year old nef was riding his bike and he said fifty dollars, fifty dollars, at first I didn't know what he was saying then I knew. He was wanting to sellhis bike.He was saying that because his dad was saying different numbers.
grandma-Mary-JoDapice1382922506 grandma-Mary-JoDapice1382922506 3 years
how about the day I showed up at my daughters without my bridge ( nine upper teeth IN THE FRONT) "Grandma, did you forget something?
Shirley10998 Shirley10998 4 years
One of the funniest things my daughter said was when she was about 20 months old ( she is now 3). My mother was giving her lunch and my daughter realized my mother had a bridge in her mouth , she asked : what is that in your mouth Grammy? My mom did not answer and changed the subject. A few days after that all the family, including, uncles, cousins, etc, were having a barbecue, and she went one by one member of the family asking them to open their mouth so that she could look inside. When she is done with the 12 of us, she says " no rings, only grandma has a big ring in her mouth". My mom didn't laugh much but all of us were laughing so hard.
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