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Lil Community: Did Anyone Regret Not Finding Out the Gender?

This post was submitted by Beaner in The Pregnancy Posse group.

Hi all. I'm almost 16 weeks pregnant with our first baby, and my hubby and I are overjoyed. In about a month, we have the big appointment where we can learn our baby's gender (if he or she cooperates). It's very exciting, but the thing is, when we first found out I was prego, my husband wanted to find out if the little one was a boy or girl, and I was adamant about not finding out. Now that it's getting closer to the time when we can find out, he's changed his mind and wants to keep it a surprise till the big day, but now I'm leaning toward finding out.

I guess I'm just feeling like if we don't find out at our next appointment, then we'll have to wait another five months or so. I'm also thinking about how much fun it will be to decorate the nursery, make a baby quilt (that's not just cream-colored), and start picking up some baby dresses or baseball hats. I still love the idea of keeping it a surprise until August, when he or she is born, because really, when do you get to have such a huge surprise like that in your life? Plus, about 98 percent of the other pregnant women I know all know what they're having, and it seems so few people are waiting until the big moment when the baby arrives. So I'm wondering if there are any moms out there who regretted not finding out, and if waiting the full nine months was really tough.

P.S. This is a photo from our 12-week ultrasound. Our little one is already doing yoga, just like his or her mommy.
Talk about motherly things on your mind at The Pregnancy Posse group over in the LilSugar Community.

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my2girls86 my2girls86 6 years
I am 36 weeks now 11-10-2010. 3rd one and its been really exciting not knowing. Of course we have had to deal with all the idots who sit back and try to tell us what we are having. People should just realx its not there body or baby. So if your ready to deal with that your good. My problem was its hard to discuss what im having when I don't even know myself and once you start that conversation in your head it goes all day. lol We just had the baby shower last weekend and we got alot of awesome baby gifts and not all just Yellow or blue or pink everything was for either I was QUIET surpised and think if I had 4th I would wait to it's kept everyone on the edge of there chair. :)
CurleyQ CurleyQ 7 years
I go in tomorrow to find out the sex of my baby. I've been waiting for this moment since I found out I was pregnant! :) I want to see if the dreams I've been having are true. Either way you do it...its still amazing!
Beaner Beaner 7 years
Love the idea of bringing a baby boy and baby girl outfit to the hospital! I'll definitely be doing that.
kmckay kmckay 7 years
I didn't think I would ever find out- I just didn't see the big deal with waiting and I thought that hearing it in the delivery room would be the greatest thing ever!! However, like cheeky, I suffered with infertility for 3 years and a miscarriage and now that I'm finally pregnant, I just feel like I've waited long enough. My surprise was finally being to conceive a baby so although our nursery will be decorated the exact same, regardless of sex, we still want to know. I think it'll seem more real to me knowing what's inside.
carolynz carolynz 7 years
We didn't find out before we had our daughter- she's now 2, having my husband tell me that our daughter had been born (he said "hername is here" was one of the greatest moments ever. We did mainly green & white stuff before she was born and we got SO much pink for presents after she was born, she definitely never lacked for girly clothes! We kept the big budget items like car seat, stroller, pnp, bedding, etc. neutral, though we did paint her room pink since we closed on our house when she was 2 weeks old. It's great because now we are expecting #2 again keeping the sex a surprise until birthday and we have all of the newborn stuff ready to go, don't need to buy more stuff, etc. Something I have noticed w/ people who choose to find out, is that they get TONS of clothes as presents before the baby is born and often a lot of this stuff never gets worn because it's the wrong size/season. As it is now I have 2 big shopping bags of clothes w/ tags still on that my daughter was never able to wear because they were the wrong size in the wrong season. I will say that it's tough coming up with names for both a girl and a boy.
Bettye-Wayne Bettye-Wayne 7 years
I found out with my girl, but if I have any more kids, I'm going to wait. I would love to get a 50/50 pool going on sex and birth date. If there's room in your budget, buy girl and boy clothes and just return the ones you end up not needing. Or decorate in yellow.
BeccaU BeccaU 7 years
You never know, your child may not let you find out. I had numerous sonograms when I was pregnant, but because of the way my daughter was positioned, we couldn't tell her gender until days before she was born. Your child may be overly modest too! (Oh, and congratulations! Being a mom rocks!!!)
GMarie GMarie 7 years
We totally wanted to know with my first pregnancy and with this one. It was a total surprise at both ultrasounds, AND we were able to plan and prepare the nurseries. I'm a planner! Turned out to be a very good thing that we knew ahead of time with my son - he didn't sleep through the night until he was 18 months old, so I spent that first year and a half so completely exhausted that there's no way I would have gotten his nursery done if I hadn't finished it before he was born! :) We have the nursery done for our daughter as well, who will be born in about a month, though I'm hoping she'll be more of a sleeper!
starbucks2 starbucks2 7 years
What's up with all the anonymous comments? I though they were mostly over at Pop?! Anyway, we never even talked about if we wanted to find it, it was understood that we would want to know. Like someone already said, it's still a surprise if you find out halfway through. It's like we had 3 births. Two small ones (we're pregnant!, it's a girl!) and then there was one the one when we finally got to meet her. I admire everyone who decides to wait but I could have never done that! I hate not knowing things. And I am kinda silly about buying the most girly things I can find (she did wear a lot of blue, though, because of a lot of hand-me-downs from her cousin).
cheekyredhead cheekyredhead 7 years
Congrats on your pending lil' bundle. I knew about both of mine because I looked for myself. As an ultrasound tech I could not keep from seeing those details. I will admit that on some level I feel a surprise would have been nice. Being an infertility patient--I was so excited to finally be pregnant--and with complicated pregnancies I checked myself often. It had been fabulous to share those moments with my patients and I savored them when I viewed my child with renewed eyes of wonder. On a side note...I never look for sex unless asked. If the couple comes together and one does not want to know-- I won't tell either until they agree. I do write it down for if/when they do agree. I won't tell a mother-in-law or anyone else if the parents want it to be a surprise. I guess I want to help protect that surprise. Once someone spills the beans the surprise is gone. I often tell patients that I will refer to the baby as "he" because I refuse to say "it" and not to read into my using "he" as a possible hint.
runningesq runningesq 7 years
I guess I'm in the minority here, but it's "sex," not "gender." sex is biological, gender is social.
Moms Moms 7 years
The three most exciting moments of my life were, "It's a girl", "It's a boy!" and "It's a boy!" in the delivery room.
kindo1313 kindo1313 7 years
I chose not to find out with my first child and did find out with my second. I definitely prefer not finding out. It was so exciting when the doctor shouted out, "it's a boy!" For our second, we asked the ultrasound tech to write whether it was a boy or a girl in a card, and then we took that card to the bakery (without looking in it). We asked them to make us a cake with either pink filling or blue filling, depending on the gender the card said. Then we cut the cake with our families. It was a fun way to do it, but I still prefer finding out at birth. Also, since everything we bought/made for our son was gender neutral, I got to reuse practically everything when I had my daughter. And, people actually bought off of our registry instead of buying clothes, which was definitely a plus!
TMommy TMommy 7 years
Its a surprise even if you find out half way there!!! :-)
FrankiLee FrankiLee 7 years
I found out the sex when I was pregnant with my daughter, and had mixed feelings about it. I was excited, but I also kind of wanted that "It's a girl!" moment. I think the next time around I'll wait. It seems like it would be tough to wait, but I think the surprise would be so exciting! Another thing to think about is that it's never 100% sure. A friend of mine found out the sex and they were told it was DEFINITELY a boy. So, they bought all boy stuff, were given all boy things, had the name picked out, etc., and surprise, they had a girl! So, it's never certain. I'd stick with the gender-neutral clothes and decor anyways just to be safe.
lauren lauren 7 years
I have never had a child but I think I would want to wait! It is such a surprise when you finally meet your new little person! Congratulations and clearly your little one loves yoga!
joanna33t joanna33t 7 years
I had my daughter last month and we didn't find out her gender before having her. Before getting pregnant I always thought I would want to know the sex. Then when I got pregnant, I really wanted that moment of "It's a boy!" or "It's a girl!" and my husband had no desire to find out so that was that. As we neared toward the end of my pregnancy though, it got really tough for me. There's not a lot of options in gender neutral clothes and, since my baby was a girl, all the gender neutral stuff that we did have looked so boy-ish! Overall the surprise was "once in a lifetime" and it was exciting not to know & having everyone guess. But for me personally, I'm a planner and I can't help but feel that it would have made things easier on me to have everything prepared. Good luck with your decision and the good news is that whatever you decide, you'll end up with a beautiful baby who will be the best thing to ever happen to you, so just keep that in mind :)
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