Every Parent Can Relate to This Mom's Viral Confession About Her Kid's Bedtime
When Bunmi Laditan puts her son to bed each night, she gets to "come alive in a new way," a way that means Netflix and reading, but things don't always go according to plan. Laditan, the mom and comedian behind Honest Toddler, recently penned a note on Facebook that has since gone viral detailing the sacrifices parents make for their kids, starting with that first cry you hear after putting your child to bed.
"Night time is my time. While the days are for work, cleaning, and errands, once the last child breathes heavily and steadily in their bed, I come alive in a new way. Silence descends upon my home and I'm free to do whatever I'd like. It wasn't until an hour after I'd tucked everyone in when I heard him wail. I froze and listened. Sometimes he does that in his sleep, but no, he was calling me by the only name he knows me by."
Laditan said that she tried all her usual tactics that put her son to sleep, but nothing was working. As much as she wanted to feel frustrated over her son taking away her precious after hours, she had to let it go and be there for her 3-year-old son who needed her.
"I didn't want to be here, in his room, battling with the most difficult version of him. I wanted to lie down, read, watch Netflix, or eat something I shouldn't. I deserved it. I only had an hour or so left before I'd fall prey to the sleep that's always behind my eyes . . . I like to be in control. But up against a 3-year-old who needs me to sit by his bed in the dark and hold his hand until he falls asleep, I know nothing would change until I let my agenda float up and away."
And in that very moment, she was there with her son, because Netflix can always wait. Alone time is sacred for any parent, but it's an important sacrifice to make.
"I relaxed into the thin rug on the wood floor and surrendered, not to him or his needs, but to what the moment needed of me. I needed to be there and I knew it. There was no escaping this, no convincing, bribing, or threatening my way out of it. The parenting books and experienced grandmas might say different, but I could feel in my bones where I needed to be: here. I thought about nothing and felt his soft little hand in mine, first gripping tightly, then relaxing, going slack as his breathing deepened and steadied. People pay good money to learn what children teach for free: how to stop fighting against what is and see it. That doesn't mean you say yes to everything, but to effectively change something, you first have to know it by fully experiencing it no matter how uncomfortable that may be. Sometimes you have to sit."