Mommy Dearest,

A friend is getting married and I'm not sure if my kids are invited to the wedding.

My husband and I already responded that we will be attending, but are having a hard time finding a sitter. Is it okay to ask the bride if we can bring them?

— Wondering About Weddings

To read the response from Mommy Dearest,


Wondering About Weddings,

There is one way to tell if your children are welcome. If the invitation was addressed to "The Smith Family," "Mr. and Mrs. Smith and Family" or "John, Mary, Michael and Ann Smith" then your kids are on the guest list. If the envelope was addressed to just "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" or "John and Mary Smith" they are not.

Additionally, some varieties of response cards have a space to indicate "number invited" and then you fill in "number attending." Obviously, the number of the latter should never exceed the initial one.

In an extreme circumstance, you might feel comfortable asking the bride or groom if you can bring your wee one to their wedding, but more often than not it's better to just decline the invitation and include an honest explanation.

Aside from the fact that weddings are expensive, it's the couple's special day and they don't need to be put on the spot.

— Mommy Dearest

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