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Mommy Dearest: Take the Loot or Give Halloween the Boot?

Mommy Dearest,

I don't like giving my three and four-year-old daughters candy. We've never gone trick-or-treating for this reason. But, this year all the families in our cul-de-sac are throwing an outdoor party since the holiday lands on a Friday. There will be food, games, face painting and to my chagrin, each house will be handing out candy. My husband is all for the festivities and thinks I'm taking the fun out of everything. Should I let my girls trick-or-treat and confiscate the candy or not allow them to participate at all?

— Say No to Candy

To read the response from Mommy Dearest,


Say No to Candy,

Children get to be carefree for such a short time and many of the best memories come from holiday festivities — trick-or-treating, putting carrots out for the Easter bunny and making valentines — why rob your daughters of one of childhood's simplest pleasures? I agree with your husband, the point of collecting candy on Halloween is to be able to indulge in a piece or two. Perhaps you could make an exception this once so your daughters can participate in what sounds like a fun and age appropriate event. That's my opinion, but let's let the lilsugar readers chime in.

— Mommy Dearest

Submit a question for this feature at the Mommy Dearest Group on TeamSugar.

Join The Conversation
jessie jessie 8 years
i have no suggestions for you......just that you and your husband need to find some kind of that you will both come out somewhat happy. since marriage is a reason for one parent or the other to call all the shots.....sit down and point blank ask.....what can we do to make this a fun holiday for the kids? what are your suggestions....and here are some of mine.....LISTEN to each other...DO NOT get are both entitled to your own opinion..:) will find a way to make it work for all of you....good luck and have fun!!!!
LadyLiLa83 LadyLiLa83 8 years
I's just a little bit of candy! No harm in letting them have some! It's not like you're letting them eat their whole bag of loot in one night.
leeluvfashion leeluvfashion 8 years
That really is a great idea Offtherecord!
corcar86 corcar86 8 years
let them participate in the fun! hearing the noise outside while they are stuck inside restricted seems unfair. And I know a lot of food banks, hospitals, and schools (I know every school in our district did one) do candy drives that where they collect the candy to make little treats for families who they donate Thanksgiving meals to or to children in the hospital that can't go trick or treating, so rather then tossing it find somewhere to donate it and let your kids participate. I don't think you are wrong for wanting to keep your kids from over indulging in candy but as others have mentioned I have a friend who was never allowed to have candy as a child and when she became old enough her parents couldn't restrict her anymore she became a self-proclaimed candy-a-holic which she attributes to force restrictions as a child where as in my house it was around whenever and it was no big thing to us
Greggie Greggie 8 years
offtherecord, what an awesome idea!
offtherecord1 offtherecord1 8 years
My mom didn't like my sisters and I eating all that candy either. She'd make coupons for things she wouldn't mind us doing, and we'd trade in our candy for the coupons. We'd pick out our favorite three pieces to save for whenever we wanted, and then bargain with the rest. For a few candy bars, we could veto eating something we didn't want to (peas were a favorite) for one night, or we could stay up 15 minutes past our bedtime, or she'd let us wear her lipstick or her perfume. If we traded all our candy in, she'd buy us a new barbie or some other toy we'd been wanting. That way we could still have fun on Halloween with our friends, feel like we were in control of our prized candy and we weren't being ordered by our mean mommy to give it all up, and in the end, we'd often get something that would last longer than a Milky Way bar.
Rally-RE Rally-RE 8 years
LET THEM EAT THE DARN CANDY AND ATTEND THE PARTY!!!! geez. Halloween is THE best day of the year - when you can be whatever you want AND eat all the candy until you feel sick. it's not a horrible night - stop thinking about it and just enjoy it ... LOOK FORWARD TO IT! get the kiddie's costumes ready and prepare for the party. I LOVE HALLOWEEN and now that i'm an adult i love to decorate my entire front lawn and house and watch the kid's expressions as they approach the door for their candy. what a fabulous evening for little ones!
hithatsmybike hithatsmybike 8 years
ditto! fructose DOES NOT CAUSE CANCER wtf. my children can have their fructose.. and the only thing I'll really be anal about is that they know what it looks like. Maybe that's how the boyfriend & I will work it: we won't let them have it unless they can draw the structure of a compound on the label. oh my poor offspring, the nerdy parents they'll have!
skigurl skigurl 8 years
amen to that runningesq
runningesq runningesq 8 years
I hope to god that when I become a parent I don't turn into a overprotective obsessive SUGAR IS BAD! CANDY IS BAD! MY KIDS CAN ONLY EAT THE FOOD I GROW IN MY GARDEN! mother.
roxtarchic roxtarchic 8 years
i remember being able to pick a few pieces a night.... but i also dont remember pillowcases FULL of candy... (i'm moving to caterpillargirls hood). the real fun of halloween imho is the costume making and and having fun w/friends... and then when you get old enough... getting a couple of cans of barbasol, rigging the top so it wld squirt a coupla feet... a sock full of starch (and a potato) to keep the others far enough away so you wouldnt get creamed... dressed as a hobo so your clothes wouldnt get wrecked! (never did the eggs thing tho)
CaterpillarGirl CaterpillarGirl 8 years
we used to go trick or treating, bring home our pillowcases of candy (let mom and dad pick out thier favorites, dads was snickers moms was bit-o-honey) and mom kept the bags in her room, we were aloud to pick a couple pieces everyday till it was gone. None of us are obese, I have never had a cavity and we got to enjoy our hard work every year!
Mesayme Mesayme 8 years
Oh, not to mention, at that age if you let them pick out four pieces from your selection (it'll take 30 mins. ;) ) and then put it completely out of sight without them seeing it...they forget entirely anyway. Then give it away if you don't want them to have it. Remember...don't listen to other parents just because they had a child...a crackhead can have a baby...doesn't mean they know how to properly take care of it...Ok? LOL
Greggie Greggie 8 years
I love CoralAmber's ideas as a great compromise.
vmruby vmruby 8 years
IMHO the candy alone is not a good enough reason to deprive any child from having fun on Halloween.Dressing up in their costumes and going Trick or Treating is the best part of it..You have full control over the amount they do get to enjoy(they are kind of young to be eating too much candy) and you can choose to either toss it out or give the rest away.No harm done.Taking it away from them entirely will only make them want it that much more.The end results will be is that you'll have 2 very happy kids with some great memories on your hands. But for goodness sakes don't be a freakin SCROOGE!!
CoralAmber CoralAmber 8 years
Ok, you really should let the kids participate or they will feel so left out of what promises to be a fun time. You can provide treats you consider appropriate for all the children. You can trade with your children, take away the candy you deem inappropriate for some of their favorite treats you approve of. You can talk to the other parents in the cul-de-sac about your concerns (a lot of people would be fine giving out raisins or other treats). Even though your children are young, if you explain to them that candy is traditional, but in your house you prefer healthier treats and ask them to trade you the candy for fun stuff or give it to others I think that would be best. Don't just take it away and don't ban it either.
vivibear vivibear 8 years
My Mom never let me have my halloween candy (or any candy throughout the year) and it was so awful, and TO THIS DAY i'm obsessed about having candy at halloween, and I have such a sweet tooth now. I think your plan will really backfire. if you don't make a big deal about it, then they won't either, and you just can ration their candy. i was so sad after halloween, and i'll never forget it. I won't do the same thing to my kids.
Mesayme Mesayme 8 years
We do half-candy and half-trail mix. My kids get sick of store bought candy anyway since we make a lot of our own treats. They always give the Halloween surplus away to relatives anyway. I do think it's pretty irresponsible in a time when the obesity and type2 diabetic rates in the US are so high to treat responsible and accountable parents as evil...why let 'live a little' advice cause you to pump high fructose into your children so THEY have to worry about the cancer later. The biggest part of being a parent is thinking for the child not as the child.
LiLRuck44 LiLRuck44 8 years
Hithatsmybike, I am trying to support the mother who asked for advice, not be judged by you.
skigurl skigurl 8 years
i'm so sick of overparenting my parents used to let us keep our huge bowls of candy in our rooms and if we ate it all in one sitting and puked all over, fine, it was our choice and our lesson to learn. turned out, we were all hoarders who would hide it and eat minimal amounts per day for about a year, but stil... just let them have the fun and explain to them candy isnt good for their bodies so they can have a bit, give some to daddy, and maybe share some with other kids or something but don't ruin a fun holiday because you think sugar is the devil
schnappycat schnappycat 8 years
Geesh. Lighten up. Let the kids be kids and enjoy a fun holiday.
hithatsmybike hithatsmybike 8 years
sorry *your body not you're
hithatsmybike hithatsmybike 8 years
Lilruck, you're way too extreme. Of course candy contains sugar. That's what it's made of. You're body is perfectly capable of digesting it. Get a grip.
roxtarchic roxtarchic 8 years
Akpril... i think that's a terrific compromise and it worked well for your family. and while our lil guy is too young for the candy aspect of this now... his (first) b'day is the 29th so we will be having hallween parties for the rest of his life, and i really can't imagine NOT allowing some candy or sweets for all the kids... i only feed him organic foods, so i'm sure i'll be able to find some organic chocolates and healthy options, but i guess it's something we'll have to really tackle as he gets older.
bigestivediscuit bigestivediscuit 8 years
for godssake - Halloween is ONCE A YEAR - you want to deprive them of having candy the rest of the year then go ahead. But let kids be kids! Mykie raises a good point - if you're deprived of something to that extreme, then you'll most likely make up for it in the future and in a bad way. My mom used to ration the candy ...
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