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Are Your Mommy Friends Your Couple Friends?

Make new friends, but keep the old . . . The Girl Scouts knew what they were talking about especially when it comes to mommy friends.

Once a woman has a baby, she actively seeks out other mamas with like-aged lil ones of their own. Knowing moms who are simultaneously going through the same things you are – sleepless nights, teething and spitting up to name a few – makes the journey easier and can help provide a reality check for first-time moms. Making these "mommy friends" often requires a lot of work – introducing yourself to them on the playground, attending "new mom luncheons," or going on "blind dates" arranged by caring friends.

But do you take the friendships to the next level and make "couple dates" with your new-found friends? There often seems to be a divide where women keep their mom friends separated into playdate and moms' night out scenarios, never taking it to the dating scene.

Tell us, do you go on couples dates with your mommy friends?

Join The Conversation
amandachalynn amandachalynn 7 years
It sounds like we have a lot in common Betty! I'm fairly liberal, and a few of my friends are conservative. We have friendly debates that are wonderful because we all respect each other enough to really listen to the others point of view. We're all around 25, and sex is usually the main topic anyway. We got knocked up somehow, right?
Bettye-Wayne Bettye-Wayne 7 years
I don't walk around in daisy dukes and a mid riff halter top like a teenager any more, but I'm 25 and I wouldn't be caught DEAD in clothes like that! MissSushi you should take your friend on "What Not to Wear.' I'm so serious. They do sexy mom makeovers all the time, AND she'll get to go on a $5000 shopping spree in New York City. Maybe I should have explained why I'm so apprehensive about befriending soccer moms. I'm very liberal and opinionated, and when I'm with small group of fiends, we talk about science and politics and philosophy and sex and drugs and rock and roll. I'm friendly to everyone but I befriend very few people, if that makes any sense. I'm like at cooking and sewing and gardening and I love hiking and nature, and I can hold a good conversation with 'normal' people as long as they don't start talking politics. What I'm saying is: I hope my kid makes friends with some kid whose parents fit into the wild, liberal, intelligent crowd. If it's relevant to the conversation I talk about my kid, no matter where I am. Anyone who has a problem with that can kiss it. I definitely don't bore anyone who isn't family or a parent with potty training stories and craft ideas, though.
amandachalynn amandachalynn 7 years
lol I would die if I had to wear pleated khakis! No one would have kids! I now wear the cargo pants and jeans and t-shirts. Although I did reserve a couple of the less skanky pieces for girls night...I usually end up in jeans and a tee though.
MissSushi MissSushi 7 years
Just to explain a few things - the entire group of friends at the time wore jeans and tshirts, typical so cal attire. - skankiness really didn't enter into the mix and she was saying she couldn't wear regular jeans or normal shirts - she was saying she was required to wear pleated khakis and button up blouses the minute she popped her kid out, lol. My clothing does NOT fit the same way at all, but it wasn't that sort of issue.
Girl-Jen Girl-Jen 7 years
Oh yes. The wardrobe. I meant to comment on that. @MissSushi, I've used the, "But I'm a MOM!" line before. It's much quicker than saying, "But my belly blew up to the size of a watermelon and even though it's mostly deflated now, it's flabby in ways that will never go away. Plus my hips changed shape, and my breasts are floppier, and have you seen these stretch marks? No, because I don't wear things that show them off." I'll still wear the cargo pants, though, as long as they're not super-duper-ridiculous-low-rise.
amandachalynn amandachalynn 7 years
I admit my wardrobe has changed since having my son. I no longer look like a skank every day! I remember this one shirt I had that looked like suspenders. I don't know if it's the kid or being more comfortable in my skin so I don't have to draw attention to myself in that way anymore. I am a married momma, I'm also young. My mommy friends are also married or in committed relationships, but it's not like we sit at the table with a cup of tea and talk about our kids and exchange cookie recipes. We were all 'couples friends' before we had kids, so it just kind of worked. Well, ok, I admit, sometimes we do exchange recipes, but we do that over margaritas.
Girl-Jen Girl-Jen 7 years
I'm a single mom. As luck would have it, my "mommy friends" are a married mom, a single mom, and a single dad. When my husband and I were together, we both talked to the married mom and took our daughter for playdates, but never did any couple friend type things.
Zivanod Zivanod 7 years
We aren't really friends with our childless friends anymore. They are the "get a dog, not a baby" types who stopped inviting us around once they knew we were trying for a child.
MissSushi MissSushi 7 years
lol, Betty Wayne, I'm a young mother and with my friends our kids are the least talked about topic, and i cant say i've asked anyone but my mother about recipes. There are times a new thing comes along, say learning to walk, but generally we talk about our interests, new movies, new books, etc etc. We don't not talk about our kids, and it isn't taboo or avoided, but it just isn't the bulk of our conversations. It always makes me laugh when people just assume anyone with kids has nothing else going on in their lives. It shouldn't be too hard to find normal people. That reminds me of a friend of mine years ago. I was around 18 and she was 26, talking about a new pair of pants I had gotten - we had just gone shopping and she missed the trip and had asked, and when i told her about them, she said, oh yeah those are cute but im a MOM (her daughter was 5). And im like, yeah and..? and shes like, I have to wear Mom clothes now, I can;t just walk around wearing cargo pants. Um.. okay. I thought it was ridiculous, lol. Sorry, but my wardrobe hasn't changed in the slightest since having kids.
Bettye-Wayne Bettye-Wayne 7 years
I'm not with my kid's dad anymore, so doing couple things together is out of the question. My childless friends have all been accepting of my little one, and a couple of them have kids now too. My girl is just starting school next fall, so her friends right now are her cousins on her dad's side. I worry sometimes about meeting the other moms... I'm young and hip and single and I just don't feel comfortable with a bunch of conservative, married family women. Not that I dislike them, I just have nothing besides kids and recipes and weather to talk to them about. Hopefully my kid will befriend some kids whose parents are young and hip.
Moms Moms 7 years
This is such an interesting question. I never got new mommy or couple friends. My husband and I just continued to hangout with our same friends who welcomed our children in the mix. And, now some of those couples have kids too.
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