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Praise Affects Child's Performance

Don't Tell Your Kids They're the Best . . . or Else!

If you shower your child with compliments, you may be doing more harm than good. A new study suggests praising a kid's performance, especially to raise their self-esteem, can actually have the opposite effect. When a child hears that he's great, he feels he must continue to meet these high standards. If he doesn't, he sees it as a failure and feels bad about himself. This is especially true with children suffering from low self-esteem, who need a confidence boost the most.

To learn more about the study, read the full story on Huffington Post.

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shereen15269897 shereen15269897 3 years
I disagree for two reasons , first I like to praise my son - as most of you said - my son is so special to me like every child is so special to his parent - he is 3 , once I caught him playing with my purse which he is not allowed to - so I asked him : what are you doing ? and he said : mom- daniel is a smart boy - so he played with the coins for a minute - put them back in place - and thats it. I loved the assurance in his voice and actually I felt happy and proud . 2nd : I was with a group with moms - and an 8 years boy old was having problems with his homework and his mom got a little mad , so I asked if I can help - and I was telling him : smart boy - I Knew you can do it - and he finished all - when he was done he asked me : am I stupid ? is that why I give mom a hard time studying ?it really broke my heart - no child is stupid - they need some cheering and confident and they can do just fine - I think each child wants to see a good impression in his parents eyes - and its not fair to take it away in fear of future failure - because it might lead to it at the end.
EddyeErvin1373079611 EddyeErvin1373079611 3 years
They should specify that empty raise is harmful. Most studies have shown that specific recognition of a child's efforts is reasonable and helpful. It's empty praise that can damage a child's self esteem. Children know when you're being genuine.
KimFarabaugh KimFarabaugh 3 years
I agree. This is total nonsense. Your kids should know that you always think they're special and that whether they "win" or not you love them and are always on their side.
JoanneGreen53732 JoanneGreen53732 3 years
I haveundergraduate and graduate degrees in pshycology, I was a teacher and I am mom to three grown kjds - each one happy, responsible and self-actualized. The most important of my credentials, though is "mom of three." I believe children need to know that they are valued, accepted, celebrated and loved. If you want to call that praise, so be it. When a child's efforts are recognized, it should be specific. Not just "good boy!," but rather, "That was a hard thing to do, and you really did it well." or ""When you sing, it makes me happy." etc. A child also needs to learn how to similarly recognize positives in others. "You like Jenny's drawing too? I love the colors she used. What do you like most about it?" Kids are not so fragile that we all have to be experts to raise them well. We only have to love them and use common sense. Do the natural love thing, and you can;'t go so far wrong.
AnnPage212 AnnPage212 3 years
What absolute twaddle!!!! I tell my kids that I love them and that they are very, VERY special, because they are!! You should praise and encourage your kids, it doesn't put them under pressure, in fact, the exact opposite is the case. Your kids should always know that you think they are the best in the world and that you are on their side, come what may! Even, or perhaps especially if they don't win everything they enter or attempt you should cheer them on and they will know it doesn't matter if you don't succeed all the time, no one can. Then they will always know that they are safe, secure and loved and who gives a hoot what anyone else in the world thinks!!!
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