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Punishment For Bullying

Dad Shames Son For Bullying Classmates

It’s no fun being bullied — that’s the lesson Jose Lagares aims to impart on his fourth-grader son. After learning that the boy was accused of bullying his classmates, Lagares made his son stand at a street corner holding a large, homemade sign that read, "I am a bully. Honk if you hate bullies." But some parents are questioning whether Lagares's actions are an effective parenting approach.

To read how Lagares responded to critics, read the whole story on the Huffington Post.

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Kizzy15098455 Kizzy15098455 3 years
The number of commenters who can barely put a sentence together to express themselves is really alarming. Doesn't anyone go to school anymore? FYI, that's the place where people teach you how to spell words and use punctuation and just generally learn to communicate effectively with other human beings. I read down the list and got to appx. #15 before becoming so disgusted with the rampant idiocy in this country that I just gave up and went to the comment box to complain about general stupidity. Hey, it may not be on-topic, but at least you could read it. +1 for public education.
Steve15048148 Steve15048148 3 years
I keep hearing this theme that his dad must be a bully wow you have no facts is so nice that has become the scape goat for everything.Statistic show that have a vagina doesnt a parent make. Did yoy no that moee often mother is the abuser. Look at almost every commercial and really look males are potrayed as dumb lazy never as smart as mom for those of you with sons you need to really look at whats going on get the facts teach your son to protect himself from over cellus fanitical system that is running fatherhood into the ground. You have no idea based on a short story what kind of father he is but most of you assume he is a bully or heavy handed parent case in point.
CarlaKing1370636909 CarlaKing1370636909 3 years
Good on him. Some kids needs to feel what its like in the hot seat, and the parents would know best. My older brother was a very difficult child. When he young set a round bail on fire when he was little and the fire department came (alone with the police) to put it out. My mom set it up with the police that were their so that he though he'd go to jail. The just put him in the back of the cop car. But it scard the pants off him and he stoped his behaviour. A lot of children today have no manners, values, morals or back bone all are need in life.
NicoleWinter11247 NicoleWinter11247 3 years
I don't feel this is the right approach to disciplining this child. Yes, he should be disciplined, bullying is wrong. Seems to me like his father is turning it around and bullying his son, however. Honestly, what does this *teach* about taking responsibility for your actions? A better approach for parents who are raising bullies might be for them to take their child to the houses of the kids they have been bullying and making their child not only apologize, but to spend some time with their victim and help each other do something productive with their time, volunteering in some way, giving something back to the world.
lisa-jaynedoecke1369109189 lisa-jaynedoecke1369109189 3 years
shame on you dad look who a bully now thats distuging
MarylinaGilchrist1372195941 MarylinaGilchrist1372195941 3 years
I wouldn't do it, but he knows his kid better than anybody else. Betcha that little boy won't bully anyone else though.
Dee81648 Dee81648 3 years
Well done to that father!
JaneStraut JaneStraut 3 years
I think I know where the boy learned to bully. To make that boy stand there being humiliated is bullying. Teach through example and love. If your child bullies find the cause and punish by having him do so good in the world. clean up the park, visit the shut ins or some other community enriching project. Humiliation is not parenting.
gnatnz gnatnz 3 years
Are you people crazy??? Don't you realise that bullies don't just appear out of nowhere - they are created. And who created this bully? His father of course, by this very type of humiliating treatment. Who knows what has happened to this child to make him into a bully? During his short lifetime, he has somehow learned that the only way to deal with problems is to lash out at the people around you. He is a small child, who hasn't been taught any better. Obviously his father is also a bully, who was probably bullied by his own father (or mother) and doesn't know any better. As the only sane comment below suggests, bullies tend to be very insecure people. It's not rocket science! For some reason, you all seem to think that the only other alternative is to "let him get away with it" - Really? Are you all so ignorant? It's not a simple choice between humiliating the kid or letting him get away with it - there are a million far better ways you can address the bullying issue without perpetuating the problem - go online and google "good parenting" - I suggest that most of you should do this immediately, before it's too late for your own kids.
HollyLee HollyLee 3 years
Parents are always kinder than law enforcement (or fellow inmates) will be in years to come because we LOVE our kids in a way no one else will....
Carla14357800 Carla14357800 3 years
I think he should also have gone to the ones he bullied, sign in hand, and apologized to them. This kid-glove-approach to child rearing is producing a culture of selfish, mean adults, who feel the world should bow to their wishes.
CynthiaSorgenfrei CynthiaSorgenfrei 3 years
He did his son a favor.
CoMMember13628023664928 CoMMember13628023664928 3 years
If more parents had this attitude while dealin with their kids instead of "my l'il darlin wouldn't do somethin like that" kids might learn somethin. But until parents get involved with their kids and their raising kids are goin to fall between the cracks and continue to lash out and be a problem and most likely end up in the judical system for the rest of their lives. And to think it could all be avoided with a l'il love and attention from their parents. More parents should try to be more involved with their kids rather than have fast food, computers, and the kids be their own babysitters. I realize that times have changed since I grew up but there's always a way.
GracieLawrence GracieLawrence 3 years
Something that was not ok.
GracieLawrence GracieLawrence 3 years
With parents having so little choice on how to discipline their children without impacting on the children's "rights" I think this father has a great idea. Yes he is humiliating his son but what of the victim or victims? They would have been humiliated but for no reason. At least this boy would have to ownup and face the fact that he did
marie77686 marie77686 3 years
What about the Boys Victim... this is not to hard, rather last resort. So what he feels same, thats not all bad if it gives the boy a proper conscious. The the problem with this world and the way it is, kids can do whatever they like again feel they can getaway with it. ? well better than not correcting the child at all and never learning the lesson how others may feel when Bullied, guess when you are not the receiving end you would not understand. Lest the Father did not Beat his son! Our son was ask by a class student who hated our son ... then several kids followed like sheep and placed their hands up, and though the Bullies where stood up in front of class made to apologies and given demerits , the leader of the bullies still bullies others! now how would that make kids kill themselves been disciplined in such a manner?? Dah. Its about taking responsibility for their own actions , and some kids don't and won't learn by just words. This Father felt this was what it would take for him to pull his head in so be it, to feel some shame the victims felt is a lesson it it self never to do it again. Not as if the Father deprived his son, or best him over it, he made the boy do a bit of Social Research to who like bullies, obviously no one does, lesson learn't we hope.... and the boy is NOT a 5 yr old, if he got so many warnings about it before and things did not get through, guess this worked, hard;y feel it harsh punishment, rather fits the action how he taunted others may just come back around, thus he won't be bulling again we guess.
Ann14951667 Ann14951667 3 years
I feel no moment of insecurity and humiliation ever goes without it being dumped on someone else in time. This is the problem with that punishment. The insecurity was probably created from an overly forceful father who created a very insecure bully. The parent then continued this treatment through such punishment, thus leaving the child feeling more insecure and humiliated. The only way to stop bullies is to punish sufficiently for each offense, "followed by much more positive care, support, and less force and more building of security" in the child. Unless the chain is broken this will continue and become much worse over time.
marie77686 marie77686 3 years
As the Father said quote:, "his son had bullied other kids several times before" If the lesson was not learn't then, the parent was in their right to go this approach allowed their child to feel the shame they placed on others to truly learn one c and for all. As some parents could deal with their kids even worse that just holding a sign up for others to honk, this will show the boy the reality in the real world of what "most people do not tolerate in Schools, work places , homes or any where, and that lesson is its wrong to Bully as the father says plainly its causes others shame, however just hope that the child does not get bullied at home..... just why to some kids bully, is to often a misplaced sense of power. I would make the boy visit less fortunate, help more unfortunate people, as kids also need to learn and be taught Empathy and Compassion,, to often School are cramming kids heads with stuff thats not much help learning how to cope in the real world after school.
JenGibson1378359485 JenGibson1378359485 3 years
It's not something I would do, that said however, I don't see anything wrong with it. Each parent knows what works for their children, or are in the process of figuring it out. If it works, all the power to ya. My 11 year old kept lying and sneaking, after trying multiple punishments I ended up pulling him from his first ball game and he had to tell his coach why, he was ashamed of himself, and upset he let his team down.
JessicaMcDonald56744 JessicaMcDonald56744 3 years
I think that it may have been a little over the top if it was the first time he had been accused of bullying, but if it wasn't and he had been warned before then its great! Kids need to understand that it is not ok to embarrass others and if they haven't felt tpwhat it feels like then they will probably have a more difficult time understanding. The younger kids are when they learn that bullying and embarrassing other kids is not right the better.
MarcieLightwood MarcieLightwood 3 years
I would hope that this was coupled with making the child apologize to those he bullied. If the problem continues, Dad needs to ask himself what the child is seeing in his life that makes bullying seem OK to him. Is Dad a bully? Is the child witnessing domestic violence or too much TV/media violence? I don't think we know whether this is an effective method until we see whether or not it worked. The sad case with parenting is we do not see immediate results.
Sam14951516 Sam14951516 3 years
I think the concept of what this father did is fine. However, a message such as 'honk if you are against bullying' might have been a more subtle approach for a first offence... To show the child how uncool it is. The kid is most likely upset, wants attention, or has a bully of his own. Children are very misunderstood and as a young mother of 3 with one little sweetheart in school, I know the affects bullying can have on younger siblings. But embarrassing the child right away may actually push him to bully more. Parenting is tough. Its not easy at all. But we do need to remember how hard it was to understand things as a child.
SarahHastings SarahHastings 3 years
I'm guessing so many comments on here are from women who do not have more then one kid or their kids talk back to them and thats okay because "They are expressing their independance." As a mother of four, a major in child development, and a child raised by a mother that refused to spank my advise; Find out why he is bullying you would be surprised to find out its because he gets everything he wants and he is spoiled so he thinks he is the alfa dog . So make him hold that sign. Don't baby your kids they can handle it. Children are not fragel creatures they can handle getting tought a lesson.
MelanieCosby MelanieCosby 3 years
Good for him! My child will not be a bully and I would do the same as this dad did. Teach them how it feels before it's too late.
Amanda14857277 Amanda14857277 3 years
I commend this man. He did not "bully" his chil. H e showed his son what it felt like to be bullied and corrected his behavior. The only thing ilI don't agree with is he backed down from his decision to be a good parent and allow these online parenting critics to get to him for trying a different method of discipline. I also believe in spanking my child behind if they do wrong and nothing else works. As a child's parent that parent is closest to the situation and knows what methods work best for their child. I tbink its ridiculous how all these parents today are like spanking teaches violoence yet their own child whom they don't discipline is hitting them and pushing them. Why may one ask??? Because these nitwits aren't teaching their children there are consequences for doing something wrong. So way to go dad! You found an alternative method of discipline without having to spank which is iur ideal but still have clueless parents criticizing you. shakin my head
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