Skip Nav
Parenting Tips and Advice
7 Tips That Make Going Back to Work After Maternity Leave Easier
How to Tame Your Kid’s Sweet Tooth in Time For Halloween
What Every Parent Needs to Know About Those Teal Pumpkins

Putting Teens on Birth Control

5 Reasons to Put Your Teen Daughter on Birth Control Pills

5 Reasons To Put Your Teen Daughter on Birth Control Pills

Like many moms of teen girls, Gayle S. struggles with whether to put her 15-year-old daughter on birth control pills. It's not that she wants her daughter to be sexually active; it's that, as she explains, "She's started to see a 17-year-old boy a lot. . . . I don't want her think I don't trust her to be careful with this boy, but I think contraception is a good idea and [that] this needs to be addressed."

She's not alone. As another member, Loryn A., shares, "I absolutely would put my daughter on the pill. Let's be real here — we can teach our daughters about STDs, pregnancy, sex, and love, but in the end, we know they are going to do exactly what they want.”

Here, she and other Circle of Moms members share five reasons to put your teen daughter on birth control pills.


1. Better Safe Than Sorry

Even if you worry that you're sending your daughter a message that it is OK for her to have sex, it is better to be safe than sorry, says a member named Victoria. She put her 16-year-old on the pill to protect her from getting pregnant, and as she says, "It is unlikely that you will be able to stop your daughter from having sex once she has made the decision. . . . considering the possible consequences, it is better to be safe than sorry." She told her daughter that it is ultimately "her choice when to become sexually active" and that she must protect herself against pregnancy.

Buffy D. agrees with this approach to the issue. Putting her 14-year-old daughter on the pill when she was 12 was the best way to protect her, she says. "As mothers, we don't only worry about our kids having sex; there is also the worry of pedophiles."

2. She's Asked to Be on the Pill

If your teenage daughter approaches you about going on the pill, many Circle of Moms members warn that denying her birth control is unlikely to dissuade her from becoming sexually active. Even Cindi C., who recommends explaining to her why you hope that she can put off sex, is also clear on one thing: "If she is asking, I would take her to the doctor ASAP. You do not want to take the chance of an unplanned pregnancy."

Jenni D. agrees. She took her now 18-year-old and 15-year-old girls to the doctor when they asked a couple of years ago. "The doctor went through everything, and she was great. I have no regrets at all with allowing them to take it. I trust my girls, and it is up to them. Let's face it: they will eventually have sex, and once they are 15 or 16, they can go to the doctor without Mom or Dad, so at least this way everyone knows what is going on and there are no secrets."

3. She Has Medical Issues

Many moms put their teen daughters on birth control pills to help painful periods or heavy bleeding, points out Tabitha S. She put her 13-year-old on the pill because "she was having extremely painful periods and is also bleeding six to eight days. Though concerned that her daughter will think this is "a license to have sex," she says the medical reasons for putting her on the birth control pill are still more important.

Victoria is another mom who put her daughter on the pill early — in sixth grade — because of medical concerns. "We have a family history of ovarian cysts," she explains, "and after her emergency surgery for removal of a (twisted) ovarian cyst which included the removal of the involved ovary, we put her on the pill to help with stopping formation of cysts."

4. Teens Lie About Having Sex

Teens don't always tell their parents the truth about their sexual activity, points out one who knows, Circle of Moms member Kelly H. She herself got pregnant at the age of 13, and when her own daughter reached her teens, she put her on the birth control pill "just in case."

As she explains, "I was a teen mom myself at 13. A lot of children will not tell their parents what they are doing. It was very hard growing up [myself] having [had] a child so young. Children don't think about things at the time and regret it later."

5. It Breeds Trust and Good Decision-Making

Many moms who put their daughters on the pill say they are keen to avoid repeating the mistakes of their own mothers, who didn't educate them at all about sex or birth control, which made the whole subject taboo. As Charlene W. explains, "Everything I knew about sex, STDs, and birth control when I was in my teens came from everywhere except my mother. . . . I think that schools and we as moms need to be able to teach about birth control and safe sex and not be forced to talk only about abstinence. I don't see it as giving them permission to have sex. I see it as arming them with the proper knowledge to make good decisions if they so choose to go ahead and do the deed. It needs to be a fair balance."

(For the other side of the story, read 3 Reasons Not to Put Your Daughter on the Pill.)

StephanieBurns1379566530 StephanieBurns1379566530 4 years
Hi everyone! I created this account for myself because I wanted more opinions than just my mum's... I am 14 3/4, and am thinking of going on the Pill for my excruciating period pain... Every time I get my period (every 2 - 3 weeks) I get excruciating pain for the first 3 days to the point where I almost faint, find it difficult to control my limbs, get cold sweats, vomiting and diarrhea. I have heard that The Pill, along with preventing unwanted pregnancies, also helps to stop cramping pains, and can reduce them by 75 - 100%? I have tried Nuerofin Period Pain, Ponstan and the Amcal Extra Strong Cramp Relief, and they worked the first few times I used them, but the Nuerofin now doesn't help at all, and the Ponstan and Amcal only work for 1 -2 hours, then I am in pain again. I really want to try The Pill to see if it will help, but I am scared as well because I have a weak stomach, and if I don't eat enough before taking pain medication, I throw up every 15 - 20 minutes for 1 - 2 hours. I also want to have kids when I am older, so am concerned that it might affect my ability to have kids? Please post any info at all, I don;t care how long or short. Thanks everyone! Steph.
ClaireOsbourne1368625716 ClaireOsbourne1368625716 4 years
We can talk to them and educate them as much as we want and at the end of the day they will make the decision as to when they will become sexually active. When that day comes we want them to be prepared for both the physical and emotional consequences. I did take my 16 year old to get bc when she asked about it. I wasn't happy that she was having sex with her bf of a year but on the other hand I wanted her protected and was proud of her for coming to me and discussing it. Some teens do have sex and all we can hope as parents is that they are in a loving and committed relationship.
WhisperGray WhisperGray 4 years
WOO... NOT OK .. What the pill does is trick your body into thinking it's already prego, then when your on your 'off' days of the pill it is like your body is rejecting pregnancy... when you do this long enough it severly irritates your uterus and this CAN cause CANCER especially in long time users. When you 'bleed' its not your period either.. its forced bleeding. Your using synthetic hormones also to acheve this.. it can cause mental issues in some people. Teach your girls to have some respect for their bodies, and be involved ! You don't want your kid to think you don't trust them ? What the hell ? DON'T trust your kids- its called Parenting- you should try it sometime.
ZoeyHampton ZoeyHampton 4 years
Whether or not you "teach abstinence" has very little effect on whether or not your child practices it. Just look at the states with the highest rates of teen pregnancy. And the pill prevents a woman (or girl) from ovulating, which means there is no egg to be fertilized, or embryo to be aborted. If somehow the woman DOES ovulate, it does not keep the embryo from implanting. The "morning after pill" DOES prevent implantation, but even in that case it is NOT an abortion because pregnancy is not simply fertilization of an egg. In order for a woman to be pregnant, an embryo has to implant itself successfully (preferably in the uterine wall). Ask any woman who has had diificulty getting pregnant. Many get fertlized eggs month after month that do not successfully implant. Believe me, they would not take kindly to your suggestion that that is equivalent to abortion. Please educate YOURSELF before posting such incorrect information. You're not doing anyone any favors.
HedyLaverdiere HedyLaverdiere 4 years
Why not teach abstinence? And if you did believe your child were sexually active, barrier methods (condoms and diaphragm) are the only methods other than abstinence that prevent and do not abort. Do your research ladies, the pill prevents a fetus from attaching to the uterine wall thereby causing an abortion.
AmandaSutter43165 AmandaSutter43165 4 years
What utter Rubbish i have a 12 yr Old daughter i Would Never put her on the Pill At aged 15 we Talk about everything, we are very Open, if she Wants to have Sex At 15 she Should her boyfriend wear a Condom to prevent STD, Putting your Child on the pill Makes her think its easier to have Sex without Getting pregnant grrrrrr
IreneOSullivan IreneOSullivan 4 years
Teen pregnancy (sorry i'm on my phone) bullying drinking dating etc At done point we have to let go and know we have done the best we could.
IreneOSullivan IreneOSullivan 4 years
I will put my daughter on the pill,I do know if she has health issues like mine I will and I always keep a running disallow with both my kids about pretty much anything we want to talk about-life school drugs sex ten piracy
IreneOSullivan IreneOSullivan 4 years
Days off school when it was the heaviest because the swelling pinched a nerve in my back, when I was sitting down I couldn't stand up and if I was lying down I couldn't sit up. My parents are very religious and refused. I have a daughter,I understand not wanting to encourage them to have sex... But I felt that I wasn't trusted and that my health and wellbeing wasn't as important to them as making sure they looked godly. I don't I know if or when
IreneOSullivan IreneOSullivan 4 years
My doctor tried to convince my parents to put me on the pill when I was 14-15 first because of my excessively heavy periods (10-14 days average) then because I seriously hurt my back and every time I got my period I had to take
BriHeglin BriHeglin 4 years
I read this even though I have a son... he is 10 and we have open discussions about sex and pregnancy (age appropriate of course) It isn't just the girls responsibility. Only one thing is 100%.
ZoeyHampton ZoeyHampton 4 years
Dear, God! This article makes the assumption that putting your hormonally stressed child on a regimen of synthetic hormones is the automatic answer to the POSSIBILITY that your teenager will have unplanned sex. I'll bet the pharmaceutical companies are just DELIGHTED with this article. First off, as at least one poster pointed out, this does NOTHING to combat sexually transmitted diseases, JUST pregnancy. And there IS something out there that combats both AND does not harm a girl's endocrine system, unless she happens to be allergic to latex. As an alternative to "putting my daughter on the pill," I'm educating her in how to deal with boys and sex effectively. Yes, it's possible that she will be raped, and Todd Akin notwithstanding, and get pregnant from that. It's also possible that she will use birth control that will fail, but in that event she STILL has the option of a safe legal abortion, which is likely to do less overall harm to her system than birth control pills. If SHE chooses at some point to go on the pill, knowing all the risks to her endocrine system, then that will be HER decision, NOT mine.
Should I Send My Kids to Boarding School?
Ways to Improve Kids' Self-Esteem
Father and Daughter Bonding Activities
Boy Saves Choking Friend's Life With the Heimlich Maneuver
From Our Partners
Latest Moms
All the Latest From Ryan Reynolds