Real Talk: The 6 Excuses You Need to Stop Making in 2018

Updated on 1/1/2018 at 6:15 PM

It's pretty easy to fall into habits, especially as a parent. After all, every parenting handbook known to man stresses the importance of routines. Although structure is certainly helpful when you're trying to lull a baby to sleep, as a full-fledged adult, routines can be the birthplace of bad habits that can often be rid of easily, if we're willing to stop making excuses for ourselves.

Let 2018 be the year of no more excuses. Here are six resolutions to help you live the life you've always wanted but keep pretending you can't have.

Stop saying that there isn't time to clean or exercise. Look, if you genuinely don't want to do those things, it's totally understandable. Life is hard enough without having to strain through 100 squats after scrubbing the baseboards. Still, there is time to do both. Whole articles and Instagram feeds are dedicated to doing both of these things in a timely manner. You have to adjust your schedule to fit the things you want to do, rather than squeeze it into your busy life. Start simple and small, build up a routine, and take ownership over the things you want to do.
Stop excusing absentee parenting from a partner. To be clear, I'm not talking about a partner who works an insane schedule and wants to make time but can't because of financial constraints. This isn't about being absent physically as much as it is mentally. Relationships, especially the relationship of two parents, should be equal. If your partner is distant at home, constantly avoids maintaining connection, and doesn't contribute their fair share, stop making excuses for their behavior. You deserve a relationship built on love and equality, and your kids deserve a parent who wants to be there.
Stop using your child as an excuse to get out of doing things. Sometimes children cause delay, get sick, and force plans to be canceled. It's understandable. Let's be honest: because it is so believable, no one is going to call you on your frequent use of your kids as a reason you can't attend events. Stop it. Your children are not negotiating chips or tools to help you avoid plans. Unless it's for a legitimate reason, don't pretend that your children are the ruiners of your life. Instead, be honest. If you're tired, say you're tired. Not everything has to be about your children.
Don't delay having your children help around the house. As soon as a child can walk and not put things in their mouth, they can start having chores. For about a year, my 2-year-old son has had two main chores: feeding the cats and helping to unload the dishwasher. He's not great at it; sometimes food gets on the floor and he accidentally drops a plate. Still, it's all about the long con. Kids love routine — if you try to surprise them with chores when they're older, you may face some resistance. At the very least, you get the joy of watching your child learn a new skill. Watching them have an immense amount of pride in helping accomplish a task, that's just an added benefit.

No more mom guilt about taking time for yourself. I love manicures. It's a little luxury that, besides preventing me from biting my cuticles, makes me feel pretty and put-together. Until recently, I hadn't had one since my son was born, due mostly to the fact that I felt guilty about asking for an hour to myself every three weeks. Whatever it is that you love and need to do to feel like the amazing adult that you are, make the time for you and for self-care. Hire a sitter, ask a grandparent, talk to your partner. If you don't give yourself time, no one else will.
Learn the skills you keep complaining about not knowing. As an old millennial, I grew up in the early days of the internet. This was good for developing a great screen name for instant messenger, not necessarily for learning a new skill. It wasn't until the magic of YouTube that I finally learned how to braid my hair and apply eyeliner — two skills that I now use daily. The internet is a magical place filled with help. If you want to learn how to make a souffle, learn. Seriously, tutorials are your friend. Learning is easier than complaining . . . and a lot more fun.