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Relationship with Your OBGYN

Babysugar Diaries: Relationship With My OB/GYN

Back in my mother's day, expectant women depended heavily on their OB/GYNs. Mothers–to–be assumed their doctor would deliver their baby — not the on–call physician. In Knocked Up, Katherine Heigl's character interviewed numerous doctors and laid out her demands and expectations. I took a laid back approach with my doctor and it didn't pay off.

I had an easy first pregnancy — I dodged morning sickness and was agile for the entire nine months. As a result, I didn't have to rely on my OB/GYN for urgent phone calls or emergencies. She was a smart doctor with an affable bedside manner, a fitting match for my personality. Unfortunately, she didn't make it to my delivery, which was upsetting. More than that I was disappointed when she didn't stop by to see me after the birth or during any part of my hospital stay.

To see how I solved the problem,


I have since switched OB/GYNs with the hope of forming a relationship where I am confident the doc knows my name and perhaps even my due date. And, I don't think this is an unreasonable request. My mom may not have had state–of–the–art 4D ultrasounds, but she could count on her doctor to pick up her call and show up on delivery day.

How is your relationship with your OB/GYN?

mamataylor mamataylor 8 years
In the city I live in there are only 2 OB/GYNs, a male and a female. I go to the male and he's already warned me that if I do happen to give birth on the weekend, he and this other doctor rotate weekends so there's a chance I might not get him to deliver the baby. But anytime during the week (Im supposed to give birth on a Monday but when does this actually happen?) I will get him. Both doctors are wonderful though and I'll be happy with either.
princessAlexi princessAlexi 9 years
My first 2 pregnancies I used a nurse-midwifery practice, it was a group of 4 mid-wives & you rotated amongst them for pre-natal visits so you got to know all of them. They were all really good about remembering each patient and were very personal & attentive. When I went into labor I didn't know which one I was going to get but I loved all of them so it didn't matter. My 3rd child I saw a mid-wife who practiced under a Dr. but I saw my mid-wife for every visit and she delivered my son & I loved her as well. With my current pregnancy I have a different insurance company & was unable to find any mid-wives in the network so I'm seeing a group of Dr's that practice together & you rotate on your visits so you get to know them I picked the practice that was rated #1 OB Dr's in Phoenix by Phoenix magazine so hopefully they live up to their rating!
mrsmiller mrsmiller 9 years
I didn't meet my OB until my first appointment at almost 10 weeks pregnant. At first I thought she was adorable, quirky, and laid back which I loved because we seemed a lot alike. Now at 32 weeks I'm realizing she's a little too laid back for me, even though I've been probably the most relaxed patient ever which is probably some of my fault for her being the way she is with me. Something just seems a little off, I see that she's extremely busy, always rushed, but it would have been nice to have one appointment last longer than 5 minutes considering I'm a first time mama and wait around 45 minutes regularly for her to even get to me. Then again, I don't know what else to expect... Part of me doesn't even care if she shows up for L&D. The hospital I'm delivering at has won awards for their maternity unit so I'm comfortable I will be in good hands when the time comes.
Jennifer777 Jennifer777 9 years
I am 30 weeks pregnant and go to an OB/GYN practice that had 2 female doctors and a mid-wife. The mid-wife doesn't handle births at the hospital so I should be attended to by one of the doctors. I like them both so I am not that worried.
lilkim1177 lilkim1177 9 years
I LOVED one of the OB's that was at the practice I was going to & the Mid-Wife that was at the office... Fortunately the Mid-Wife was on call the for the delivery of my son... I was a little aprehensive at first, but now I wouldn't have had it any other way... she seemed more in tune to what I needed and felt. I would love for her to delivery my 2nd lil one (as soon as I get pregnant that is! (TTC for 2.5 years now)
Mishell Mishell 9 years
In Europe they do things a bit differently. I still have regular Doctor appointments, but there is never an expectation that the doctor will be at the delivery. Half way through the pregnancy we got refered to a midwife who handels everything having to do with the actual birth. The emphasis is largly on having a home birth.
meumitsuki meumitsuki 9 years
The first time around I was too far off post to get a military doctor (we were in England), and I had the most wonderful doctor. With the second, I saw a different doctor every time, and didn't even meet the one delivering until the was time to go.
brielleblonde brielleblonde 9 years
So i haven't had a baby (yet..) i still love my obgyn. She's actually free through my college! But she's so nice and makes me feel comfortable. After I graduate I dunno what i'm going to do without her.
crystalp2 crystalp2 9 years
I loved my OB! I always got all of my questions answered, he even saw me without an appointment the day that I had my first because I wasn't sure if it was real labor and I didn't want to be sent home from the hospital (again!). He was there the ENTIRE time I pushed, too! He really listened to my concerns for my twins the second time around and took them into account with my care. He was great!
Dana18 Dana18 9 years
I had a great OBG/YN. She was wonderful during my birth. I have to have a c-section , the twins were breach. She helped me when I had to have a epidural. I was nervous and her came over and me lean on her shoulders so that they could get the needle in. She visited me twice while I was in the hospital and when I had to go for my first check up after the birth you was very attentive.
peepshow peepshow 9 years
My L & D nurse pretty much delivered my baby. My doctor was paged, and was there in time to, literally, catch my baby boy on his way out. So even though I saw her for the last 3 months of pregnancy (we moved during it), and we had a really good relationship-- she wasn't there for the tough part. The nurse was!! And I'm 100% okay with that, b/c I really LOVED my NURSE!!
Moms Moms 9 years
I really like my doctor, but he didn't deliver either of my babies. He admitted me into the hospital for my first and was on duty all night, but was off by the time my daughter was born. She was delivered by two amazing women doctors. The same thing happened with my son, only the doctor that delivered him was not so great. She asked me if I wanted to rest when he was half way out, wouldn't answer my question as to why he wasn't breathing and told the resident to redo my stitches since she didn't like the way they looked in front of me. I found her to be unprofessional in a time when you really don't have time to focus on that stuff. My real doctor did stop by to check on me after each of the kids were born.
roxtarchic roxtarchic 9 years
love my obgyn and wound up getting lucky that she was on call the day we went to deliver... it just worked out that way. we've since moved & i need to find another, i'm going w/a friends recommendation because that's how i found and loved my last one... i'm hoping to be lucky w/the next one also (fingers crossed).
schnappycat schnappycat 9 years
I liked my OB pretty well, although I didn't start seeing her until I was 16 weeks (before that I had been at a Reproductive Endocrinologist). She was very nice throughout all of my normal appointments and was responsive by phone (or her nurse was). However, she wasn't on call the day I gave birth, so one of the other partners (whom I hadn't met) delivered my son. But I really don't see the big deal of it because it's not like the Dr. is there the entire labor and delivery--mine introduced herself early on and then popped back in halfway through pushing. The nurses are the ones who handle a majority of it, at least during an uncomplicated delivery like mine was. I guess to me a Dr. is a Dr. and if they are competent, I'm good with it. I don't necessarily need touchy-feely stuff if they are doing what's best medically. It's nice to know the person, but at the end of the day, I had a healthy son and was satisfied with the care I received. I'm sure if I had had a c-section or a complicated delivery, I might have felt differently, but mine was very textbook and no handholding was needed by a Dr. I had a relationship with (that's what my husband was there for).
kikidawn kikidawn 9 years
I don't like my OB/GYN and hope I have a different one by the time that I get pregnant.
SweetnLow SweetnLow 9 years
With my first, I spent the first half of my pregnancy with a military hospital. I never saw the same person twice- not even the staff. I also only had 3 visits for the entire 20 weeks- to me, that is just bad patient care. Then we moved away, too far to go to base, and I joined a practice with 2 OBs and 3 midwives. I never saw an OB the entire time. I also didn't like the head midwife, until I had a problem and we had a chance to bond. After that, I LOVED her. I'm planning on tracking her down for my next- even though she is 30 miles away.
Livvy-P Livvy-P 9 years
I adore my OB/GYN! He was wonderful before I got pregnant, and during each of my two pregnancies we was always with me (of course, he had to run out at certain points to check on other patients). When I had my daughter (1st pregnancy), I was induced since I was late - he stayed with me, visiting every 30 minutes to see how I was doing. I ended up having an emergency C-section, and afterwards he came to see me every day I was in the hospital. Same deal when I had my son, although that time, I was going in for the c-section. He was so attentive & wonderful, I couldn't ask for a better doctor. And I am not the type of person who needs a lot of hand holding, either. He was just really supportive.
Mystofflyn Mystofflyn 9 years
My OB is done way differently. I have a series of three OBs and I get rotated though each one during my pregnancy and one of them will be on call when I deliver. That way I know all of them and I'll know who delivers my baby.
backfat backfat 9 years
For my first two pregnancies I saw the same man the entire time, with the occasional resident. He didn't make it to the second delivery and while I'm bitter about it, it wasn't the end of the world. This time I go to a "team" of OBs, so I see a few different people. There's only one of them I really dislike. I'm 38 weeks tomorrow so it's a little late to switch.
Courtney82 Courtney82 9 years
My last ob was okay. She was a family friend so she knew my history which was great. The one problem was she didn't have kids so she couldn't quite understand what things felt like. yes she handled it all the time but she would just say deal with it. I didn't like that. When my child cracked my rib, i wanted a little sympathy cause it hurt and she was like that sucks. i called to make an appt for this time around and you dont even see a doctor until you are 16 weeks along. I felt 100% uncomfortable with this so i switched. I love my new doctor she listens very well and the second I had an issue we did an ultrasound to verify that all was okay. She just knows how to calm your comforts when you are in a tough time. hopefully my labor will be great this time like it was last time
luckyme luckyme 9 years
I guess I should have prefaced all of that by saying I went to a women's practice. Forgive me, it's early...
luckyme luckyme 9 years
I can't believe she didn't stop by to see you after the birth. Aren't they supposed to do that?! I would want to switch too. Because I had to be induced, I was fortunate enough to plan my birth around the on-call schedule. I picked the doctor that I loved - LOVED. I had seen several of the other doctors during my regular appointments and I knew which one was the one for me, and towards the end, I scheduled my appointments around her schedule. Anyway, she was part of the reason my daughters birth was as great as it was. I hope to use her next time too!
j2e1n9 j2e1n9 9 years
I am very very very happy with my OBGYN. If/when I get pregnant I certainly hope she will be the one that delivers the baby! If not I will surely flip out. I am very strange around doctors/medical things. :(
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