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Rude Comments During Pregnancy 2010-05-27 04:00:50

Lil Community: Rude Things People Have Actually Said to Me While Prego

Nine months can seem like a lifetime when you're pregnant. LilSugar reader Beaner has been bringing our readers along her journey and shared her latest thoughts about pregnancy in The Pregnancy Posse group.

I was so excited to get pregnant, obviously to be a mother and to expand the already amazing family my husband and I have created, but I was also excited to sport an adorable little baby bump. I had no idea though that as soon as I started showing and expanding, I became public domain for everybody's rude and hurtful comments. Here are seven things people have actually said to me.

  • "Wow, I wasn't as big as you when I was that far along. But don't worry, because you haven't gained too much weight in your face and arms." — My neighbor from down the street drove all the way over just to tell me this. She's also a mother of a one year old.
  • "Wow, you're huge. You could give birth right now." — I was only 24 weeks pregnant.
  • My dentist said, "Look at that belly! What are you eight months pregnant?" I smiled and said, "Nope, just four and a half months." And she said, "Oh, well are you sure there aren't twins in there?"
  • "I can really tell you're pregnant in your face." — A close relative said this to me. So basically she was telling a pregnant lady her face was fat. Nice.

To see the rest of the comments Beaner has heard, click here. Want to talk pregnancy with other expectant mamas? Get the conversation started in The Pregnancy Posse group!

Join The Conversation
Alma14836242 Alma14836242 3 years
I'm 5 months pregnant and this is my first pregnancy and I'm realizing how I am already growing tired of the phrase, "what do you prefer?" when asking about the gender of my baby. Seems like a tiny thing to be annoyed about, but I get annoyed by it. My husband's aunt also whispered to me during a birthday party, wow you're getting big, but that's not the only thing that's getting big!" Urgh...just wanted to smh right then and there. Glad I read your post because it made me feel like I wasn't alone.
Donna14715587 Donna14715587 4 years
Im on number 6 and have had it all.... After 4 boys i fell pregnant with a girl .... Ofcourse to everyone and still this day ... They all think i kept going untill i fell pregnant with a girl... Was always rubbish .... But this time its all about my size ... Im huge and loving it ... Well if i was allowed to .... The constent digs about twins tripplets heffers and the odd pathetic condisending pitty face ..... Oh how to drive a hormonal semi sane woman made .... People seem to think they can say what they want ...... My answer ... Be supportive shut up .... Or my usual one is yeh im massive but im still hot ... Which not for a min do i belive but heyo i catches them of gaurd ... So please try and dont let these direspectful morrons bring you down ... Pregnancy regardless of size is the most beaitiful thing ever xxxx
Rachel14655008 Rachel14655008 4 years
"It must be twins" I was a few months pregnant. "Come here honey, Mommy can't lift you she's too fat" Restricted weight lifting at 3 months. "You look further along than you are you must get a lot of sympathy" " nope she just gets really fat". "Wow, you are having a girl for sure, you are carrying so high" "really, I'm only 14 weeks the baby doesn't even know yet" "You're going to be huge". That dress makes you look huge... like you're going to pop any day now... and the baby is only 9oz in there" :( I have 4 months to go and if I have to hear this for the next 4 months I think I will crawl in a hole and hide. People are so RUDE !!!
Melody14608299 Melody14608299 4 years
One night me and my husband were getting (already done) laundry put away and the kitchen cleaned, in our apartment, when my husband went to check something in the kitchen, and he heard a knock on our door. I didn't hear the knock, and when i started hearing his voice, I subconsciously thought it may be the tv, in our living room, but then when I really listened it wasn't the tv, then I thought maybe he's on the phone, then I saw his phone laying on our bed, and by that time, I had thought then who is he talking too, he walks in, in a very not happy mood. He had answered the door (mind you, it was around 9:30pm), it was some really weird acting guy. He said now before I tell you this, I don't want you getting too angry, I know you. Then after hearing this, I obviously knew I most likely was going be not happy, when hearing it. He told me a 'hyper guy' came to the door, asking for money to buy some magazines so he could win a trip to the Bahamas and get drunk and get wasted. My husband said he was hyper, not able to stand still in the same place, his eyes were blood shoot, he kept asking my husband if my husband knew what it was like to be high, he asked my husband, again if he had any money to give him, and trying to be calm, my husband told him that he had no spare change to give him, because I was pregnant,.... and what came out of his mouth after that, if I had answered the door, the scum bag would have been falling down 3 flights of stairs, with a black eye and two broken legs... He told my husband, in a smart manner, and I quote, "Oh, well, have you thought about Plan B?", and when he told me that, I saw red, I HAD WISHED I HAD ANSWERED THAT D**N DOOR, BUT THAT'S NOT ALL THE OUTRAGEOUS THAT CAME OUT OF HIS MOUTH, my husband said it took alot of might to keep from hitting the man. Then as my husband told him 'no we haven't. we have no money and i need to get back to work', then as my husband was slowly closing the door, the scum bag yelled "Now don't be having anymore kids!", as he walked down the stairs. I was seeing every shade of black and red, after hearing this, and I all wanted to do was hunt the scum bag down, and rip him limb from limb. It took a looong time to calm down, cause I hate, and I mean HATE humans/creature's/low life's like that, and would love nothing more, than to be the one to rid them of this planet. gotta calm down...... We called the cops, but it was 30+ minutes, before they called us, saying they were on their way, but were only going to "patrol and spot light the area". ...yeah, I highly doubt they even tried all that hard. Most of the cops in Springfield, MO, ain't worth a d**n. So most likely, that scum of the Earth, is for all we know, mugging a bunch of helpless homeless people, somewhere, to get a couple nickels, to go get some lovely drugs and alcohol to go along with his low-life, scum bag, life style, so he can go to his feeble grandmothers house, beat her for being feeble, then find a prostitute, screw her, then kill her, to get her money, to get more drugs and alcohol, and do it ALL. Over. AGAIN. .........every time I think of this, it makes my blood boil. That and my husband close relative, had made very rude and hurtful comments, about me being a mom. And the sad part is, I don't know whether she's aware she saying hurtful stuff or just doing it cause she thinks she better than everyone else. Cause the way she views things, she's right, you're wrong, if she thinks its unhealthy or strange or odd, she doesn't really approve and will very willingly make. it. known. To Everyone. In front of me and my husband. She has told my husband, while on speaker phone with him, and me sitting there being quiet, doing my own thing, and she asked him "Now, she knows being a mother is a big responsibility and it takes a lot of work to raise a child, right?", I just looked at my husband, with a glare beam, then at the phone, and flipped the phone off. As if I don't know how hard it's going to be to raise a child, I've watched my aunt raise my cousins, since they were born!!! I know how hard it can be!!!! And, yes, I have much to learn!!! THIS IS ME AND MY HUSBAND FIRST CHILD!!!!!! ..... Then she's asked me in front of him, "Now your eating your fruits and veggies, right. Eating healthy is good for the baby." ...I simply said (doing a good job of keeping my smart mouth calm) "Yes, her name, I am eating right.", she says "ok, keep on eating right and doing what you're supposed to be doing.". Mind you, again, I am a little on the chunky side, or I think I am, everyone says I look a healthy weight. Even my obgyn and WIC has said I am in perfect health. And shockingly, over the last couple months, WIC has told me I have actually lost weight. As much as 7 lbs. Not that my husbands relative would really care/believe that. My husband has told me, she thinks everyone, including her own family, that is even a few lbs bigger than her, is fat. Then, the last time I was over at my husband other relatives, his relative was over there, and she had asked me how I was doing, I said I was tired, cause I had been up all night (I don't mean up and down, either, I mean literally up, eyes wide open, walking around, doing things, on the computer, watching tv, cleaning, etc. from say 8pm to 8-9am, the next morning, because I can't sleep), she asked "well, have to tried taking anything for it, to help you sleep?", I said I had tried taking Melatonin (which is a joke), another (too) strong pill (that I quite taking, because it was too strong), would have taken Lunesta (if it hadn't been $200, for 10 pills), but the one thing that has worked is ZzzQuil, but I can't take any of those, now that I'm pregnant. I've even been up 4 day's in row, 80+ hours, straight. (Been up all night, tonight, whilst writing all this.) She agreed, then came the rudeness, which I was hoping wasn't going to come. She said "Well, if I was up for that long, I could get a lot of cleaning done. Don't you think?", I said "Yes, her name, I know." calmy, with a small smile, but trying my best to keep from grinding my teeth. My husbands family knows we are a bit messy couple, but we do clean. It's not like we have food and papers and clothes laying in 3 feet deep piles on the floor, that's been sitting there for 5 years. And when she says these things, she not grumpy or frowning, when she says them, she smiling and giggly, in what I call a calm, sarcasm. Again, not sure if she's trying to be, but she still does a hefty job, regardless. ...... I used to like these people, but since me and my husband got married, things are going down hill, somewhat fast. My husband says they didn't really show their true colors, til we got married, signifying, they could now say whatever they want and (try to) treat me however they want. I guess, in a way, when we weren't married (for 2 years), they didn't want to be the reason we broke up, but since we are now married, says they can say and do as they please, cause I can't/won't leave because of them. laws........YaY!........... Ok....I'm done........
Donna14592506 Donna14592506 4 years
Man Co-worker "How far along are you?" Me "Im 4 months" Him "You are just as big as my daughter who is 9 months" and of course the always NON FUNNY "Are you sure there arent twins in there?"
ChristinaKP ChristinaKP 4 years
When I was pregnant with my daughter, I was asked if that pregnancy was an accident after people learned I was 36 and had a 13 year old at home already. Then with my last pregnancy, which was planned and only a few months after my daughter was born(since miscarried), my OB's nurse told me I need to keep my legs closed or have my hubby keep it in his pants, at one of my appointments.
catherine1986 catherine1986 4 years
This was with my last child you lookmlike free willy you need to be in bed, or you're as big as a house wow (your due any day now huh? ( I was 4 months pregnant)
ashleebrooks01 ashleebrooks01 4 years
Im just 20 weeks... havent gained anywhere but my belly but it is rather big now. Had a guy say ' not that long to go??' In which i replied well yes actually.. another 20 weeks! and then he looked at me and said.. all prepared? As if to say.. you look to young to have a baby.. i bet it wasnt planned. Ergh.. i nearly shouted at him but he is sadly one of our clients at work.. doubt my boss would be impressed, but it really grates on me. Yes i look young, yes i am 22 but YES our baby WAS planned and YES we are sorted. Not everyone our age just gets pregnant for fun. GRRR
vkinney4 vkinney4 4 years
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AndyCan21 AndyCan21 5 years
Well, atleast I'm not the only one going through this. I'm 31 weeks pregnant and have heard every one of these rude comments over the last few months. It's always really frustrating to feel beautiful and pregnant, and to have everyone making you feel like you're the size of an elephant. I've never said anything remotely like the things we've heard to any woman.
michaelbreaker michaelbreaker 5 years
Great post i like it very much thanks Baby Website
hitormissus hitormissus 5 years
Oh wow, I'm actually so surprised that this happens to many women. I thought I was the only one. I'm 27 weeks pregnant, and it just feels like I'm in the Twilight Zone. People seem to have forgotten basic manners and sensitivity. People, even those who I'm not necessarily friends with, think that they can just comment about my weight. I especially hate it when they point at my boobs and exclaim how big they are.
NicholleL NicholleL 5 years
Thankful for baby, and for my job but getting flack at work. Perhaps its the industry (late night server) and hours but I get some awful comments from both catty coworkers and drunks. Granted considering the source (coworker who was rude before i really began to show) and now at 20 weeks had gained 11 pounds..certainly not excessive but yes its all belly on my petite frame..the inside fat jokes and snickers from her and others have gotten to me. I lost 2 lbs stressin over it (not intentionally don't own a scale, just learned so clearly have to approach it differently) Irritates me this sociopath is also a complete hypocrite as I learned she put on 60 in her pregnancy. But thats not the worste.. the drunks I have to deal with.. OMG. Lets just say in the last week I got 2 unsoliceted offers to abort my baby via hanger/ and a punch to the belly..indirectly as the rest of the table laughs. Grrr.. have started lashing back. Thank God I have a counceling appointment coming. I am beginning to think people are complete scum.. wishing I could get a better/more family friendly shift, but they say I do a better job than the others so i am stuck there.. more work .. less pay. Looking forward to some changes (necessary later :) / thank God) in the future. Trying to ..not hurt these people and yet not take it. Think ultimately I am driving some business away.. but they are A$$holes anyway in my mind
csreynol csreynol 5 years
I am getting so sick of the "fat" comments! I am 35 weeks. My grandmother-in-law just said she was worried the baby would be too big, and did the doctor say everything was ok? Then she said, "Oh well, I guess being pregnant is the best excuse for getting fat!" Rudeness! What does she want me to do, go on a diet at 35 weeks pregnant? Other ladies, aquaintances from church, have been downright mean. I started wearing my wedding ring around my necklace since my fingers started swelling, and when she saw this she laughed maniacally in my face! "You must feel so fat right now!" She was an old be-yatch who is probably infertile. Come to think of it, most of the rude comments have been from older ladies-maybe there is some sort of fertility jealousy issue there?
jamiek4244 jamiek4244 5 years
I am 3 1/2 months and am already starting to show a lot!! I had someone look at me just yesterday and say: "Have you bought maternity clothes yet??" and when I replied and said yes she said: "well i think its time to start wearing them, the outfit you have on looks to be way to small." I didnt even know what to say!!
Amandasnv Amandasnv 5 years
So get this...I've been a bellydancer for three years now. I have never been a skinny girl...I like to think I am curvacious ;)....all my life my mom has been giving me war because I can gain weight very fast(specially on the breast area). I am three and a half months pregnant and its starting to show a little (again...mostly on the boobs) Today I was feeling silly and started to dance to my mom and she told me "continue the way that you're eating and your not gonna be a bellydancer...youre gonna be a jellydancer!!!" "It should be that big!!!" I got really upset....I mean...not even when I'm pregnant I can catch a break??? Duuuuude!
myGodyourehuge myGodyourehuge 5 years
1st of all, you look sooo cute! Secondly, how in God's name do you find the strength to just smile and walk away?! I'm not finding out the sex of my baby and that just opens the floodgates to everyone's (from the man at 711 to my bosses wife and everyone in between) predictions, of course all of them have been that I'm having a girl because I'm looking I guess, Extremely Gross! The thing I don't get is strangers, they don't know what I looked like before I was prego, maybe this is an improvement. It's just so insulting and makes me not wanna leave the house. I'm having a hard time these last 2 moths
kelton08 kelton08 5 years
You look awesome. i too found out I was having twins @ 19 week u/s. I have heard every comment in the book about being huge/big whatever, So annoying! I love when people ask when I am due and I tell them and they look at me with the weirdest look. My favorite: your already so big your going to be just huge you know. I am a nurse and I love when people tell me all about the risk of preterm labor and all, seriously people!
flwrpwr flwrpwr 6 years
So I am 31 weeks pregnant and I have only gained 5 lbs (My doctor is not worried, I eat all the time get plenty of fluids and I am taking my vitamins) To me and my husband I definitely look pregnant, however, people tend to say "I wasn't sure" or "REALLY!" like it is a total shocker. I always say "So you just thought I was fat!!" and I try to sound offended. I am upset people don't know, but I get a kick out of making them feel like they just called me a cow!!!
MaunaKea MaunaKea 7 years
I'm 21 weeks pregnant...and my boyfriend said to me tonight... I was just looking how your butt is getting I was serving dinner. I got so pist and explained that it HURTS to hear that...why can't he tell me I'm glowing or beautiful like his friends do when they see me and leave his fat comments for another time. He got pissy and left the dinner table and did not eat the excellent garden veggie dinner I'd been preparing for an hour...Obviously has no clue that his comments are painful....this is his first child. I told him that most women would FREAK OUT on that comment and some may even try to hit him afterwards. ...signed pregnant with a big fat butt according to my boyfriend in San Diego
wildsngrny wildsngrny 7 years
Oh, ladies, ladies... There is a balance. For example, I am 4'11" and weigh 119 lbs. So I'm really short and NOT superthin--I've got a body that's built for soccer/field hockey. I am fit, but I do not have thin limbs or a 6-pack of abs. When I was pregnant, I gained 35 lbs (right at the "upper limit" of what's acceptable for my age and height), but I was carrying a 21-inch, 9-lb baby. Now, we didn't know his stats while I was pregnant, but let's face it: I was HUGE! I knew it, my husband knew it, strangers knew it...facts are facts, folks. Here's the deal--many of you are equating the idea of large size (i.e., "huge!" "so big!" etc.) with "fat." As in "obese." It's important to keep a sense of humor, an open mind, and to be honest with yourself and with the rest of the world. Practically none of these comments are meant maliciously, but our oversensitive hormones allow us to take them that way. Gentle reminders and witty quips work wonders, too. And remember to breathe--relax. You are the size Mother Nature needs you to be to support your growing baby.
FrugalFranny FrugalFranny 7 years
On a side note i had a friend who was just about due and was getting a check up from her doctor. The doctor is feeling my friends tummy and asks "are you having an extraordinary large baby...?" before she can answer he says "Oh no, thats just you!" My friend and her husband were dead quiet for a few seconds then cracked up! Lucky my friend has a good sense of humour and the doctor caught her on a good day, imagine the consequences otherwise!
FrugalFranny FrugalFranny 7 years
I think people like to sahre in other peoples prgnancys. This can be a bit much sometimes, especially if you weren't all that close before. Sometimes their comment may sound bad but they aren't meant in a nasty way. "Gee I wasn't that big" may simply be them saying they weren't that big. It doesn't mean they think your too big, or your fat. Sometimes we need to take comments at face value. I had a slightly ignornant friend who said to me "Wow, your getting really big" on a bad day. I turned around and said" I'm 6 months pregnant, I'd hope so". She qucikly apologised for sounding rude and said she simply said it becasue she hadn't seen me in awhile and she had forgotten how quickly the time had gone. Wasn't meant in a judgemental or hurtful way!
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