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Rude Pregnancy Comments on Size

Lil Community: Rude Pregnancy Comments?

Pregnancy is full of surprises! This post was submitted by Beaner in The Pregnancy Posse group.

I went to the dentist the other day and the person cleaning my teeth was all excited that I was pregnant. "How far along are you?" she casually asked. "Almost five months," I said. She stopped me dead in my tracks and said, "No, are you sure you're not having twins?!" "Yes, I'm sure," I said not amused. Then she called over another hygienist and said, "Guess how far along she is." And the woman said, "Eight months." Eight friggin' months?! WTF. Both of these were women, and both were moms, so what's with the insensitive comments?

I'm sure they didn't realize that remarking on how enormous I am was hurtful to an already self-conscious pregnant woman, but come on! Isn't it common knowledge not to make comments about a mom-to-be's girth? That wasn't the only comment. My mother-in-law saw me for the first time and said, "You're huge!" and I also have gotten a few times, "How much weight have you gained?" Now that one tops the cake. Seriously? Did you just ask a pregnant woman how many extra pounds she's carrying around?

I was warned by other pregnant women that I'd receive tons of unsolicited advice from other parents, and would possibly even get my belly rubbed by strangers. But I was not at all prepared for the abundance of blunt observations about my expanding body. Tell me, have you gotten rude or insensitive remarks during your pregnancy? If so, how did you handle it?

Talk about motherly things on your mind at The Pregnancy Posse group over in the LilSugar Community.

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angelineore angelineore 5 years
I was so big in both my pregnancies but I'm sure it was a lot of water that did it, I didn't have the 12 pound monsters that everyone kept telling me I would have when they saw me! Just keep slapping on the Tummy Rub and you'll be ok... :-)
susanco susanco 6 years
I did have twins first time around so now at 34 weeks get numerous comments daily - are you sure you arent having another two. I feel enormous, and am enormous, but I could really do without everyone telling me constantly. Its actually making me panic a bit about how big she is going to be in another five weeks. For the most part, I really dont think people intend to be mean, they just want to be involved and excited and they often tell me how much better it is to have big healthy babies, and Im cranky enough so try not to snap at them. But the real classic is the woman who tells me at least every second day at school pick-up, "Oh goodness, that tummy is so big! But you look absolutely fantastic, you're body looks all in proportion now." I really think she is trying to compliment mem by saying that now that I have this huge belly, the rest of me looks slimmer!!!
babyonboard babyonboard 6 years
Such funny stories. I'm 19 weeks at the moment and people have been telling me i'm "showing" since week 8. When all my jeans still fit. I'm sure I'll have more amazing stories in the weeks to come but so far the best one has been "you're looking wide, which means you'll probably have a girl." Wow. Do they really think that's appropriate?
mikiismum mikiismum 6 years
You are so lucky to even look pregnant! i did everything possible to show off my baby belly, and no one noticed! most people didnt know i was pregnant, or couldnt tell unless i told them. it wasnt till the very last week of my pregnancy that i showed at all. and that week was spent at home in sweats, and running to the hospital. embrace it. love your giant belly *not that i think its that huge, definately not 8 month size* and flaunt it while you have it! some of us never got to have people gawking at our bellies. consider this, you look pregnant, not just fat. :)
lenab lenab 6 years
i am ready to drop any minute. From the UK. I am totally disgusted at comments all of which have come from women. It has ranged from - are you carrying twins? are you carrying triplets? wow your enormous you look like you have eaten all the dohnuts I dread to know what you feel like These are just the ones that i can remember!! I was a previous size 8 uk which is a size 2 in the US. I have gained around 60lbs but knew i would as i was the same in my last pregnancy. However im quite tall and carry it well. Men tell me im glowing and beautiful and women just tell me how fat i am. I have promised myself that im going on a mission once i have lost the weight to insult every single one of those horrible cows who made me feel sad during this pregnancy. Most of which are overweight anyways!!! what a joke!! Im gonna make them feel so fat and ugly they wont wanna come out of their houses !!!
danakscully64 danakscully64 7 years
I would not be able to control myself, I would have made numerous comments back. :P Especially with the hormones going. Heck, I would probably still bring it up to this day. People are evil and don't think before they talk.
babybuff205 babybuff205 7 years
I hated all the comment when i was pregnant with my son James and people saying how huge my belly was ! The only comment i got that i was glowing.
spmccarter spmccarter 7 years
You look FABULOUS and beautiful! But, I totally agree with you that a lot of people seem to lack any tact or sensitivity when dealing with pregnant women. I'm 28 weeks along with my 2nd child and my 60 year old neighbor (man) just commented yesterday, "my, you are getting FAT!". Thanks. Another neighbor asks how much I have gained everytime I see her. And, of course, I have had several acquaintances touch my belly and ask if I am having twins. I try not to let those comments get to me. But, it is hard with the pregnancy hormones, etc. I know pregnancy girth is a temporary thing and I think that is why people think it is okay to ask rude questions or make rude comments. But, I also think it is fine to make it known to these people that you do not appreciate it. Hopefully, they learn something and you have just spared their next pregnant victim. Good luck!
wildsngrny wildsngrny 7 years
Ahhh, the joys of pregnancy... I only had one "rude stranger" incident, and to be honest, I don't recall what the joker said. I was pi$$ed at the time, but let it go soon after (and apparently forgot with time--or maybe it was the pregnancy brain that caused me to forget...). I would like to say to Abby: if you simply "laugh along" with your coworkers, you are showing them that their behavior and comments are acceptable. You don't have to be rude or militant (which will only incite more "oh, she's hormonal" jabs), but I do feel that informing them that their comments are insulting is definitely in order. In fact, the next time a coworker says something insulting, a simple "you know, I find that insulting" may just do the trick. Silence is acceptance, and acceptance propogates more inappropriate behavior.
snowysakurasky snowysakurasky 7 years
yes bellafrank, thats true! i admit i am like that. people would make comments to me and i'd think, gee you're stupid, and later id catch myself making stupid comments to pregnant women, in trying to relate or connect i'd forget my manners and basically say what i saw. however after the baby's out, the option of any comment that isn't complimentary is out too!
snowysakurasky snowysakurasky 7 years
people just lack tact.. and it is surprising how much bigger a baby bump looks on a more petite frame!
runningesq runningesq 7 years
I'm 13 weeks along, and if someone asked me how much weight I've gained I'd respond with a number, and say "and how much weight have YOU gained?"
amandachalynn amandachalynn 7 years
I never minded the comments from family, maybe because we always tease each other about everything anyway. My MIL, SIL and I actually have a running fat joke between the 3 of us. We tend to think that stuff is funny. I know for the most part strangers aren't trying to be hurtful, so when they asked me if I was having twins I'd say 'Nope, I'm growing a linebacker' it always got a chuckle. I didn't feel self conscious, though, I'm one of those weird ones who felt sexier! I think you look wonderful, and it's easier to try and laugh things off than to get upset. You're a sexy and fabulous pregnant woman!
misshk misshk 7 years
You look great for 19 weeks! I am 17 weeks and my belly's just as 'big' as you and I get the same kinda comments, its like, keep your goddamn unwanted comments to yourself. No I am not carrying twins. But I am pregnant, whats your excuse?! :D I don't understand why half of us women are supportive and awesome to eachother and the rest of us are heinous bitches who can't say anything nice.
danakscully64 danakscully64 7 years
^^ Oh my Gosh! I wonder what the heck made her say that. People are just nuts.
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