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Should You Find Out Your Baby's Gender?

Should You Find Out Your Baby's Gender?

Should You Find Out Your Baby's Gender?

Should you learn your baby’s sex via testing (ultrasound or genetic), or opt for a delivery room surprise? Ultimately, it’s a personal decision, but Circle of Moms members have shared the major pros and cons you'll want to consider.

Three Reasons to Wait

1. Surprise!

Countless moms say the prime rationale for waiting is for the extraordinary surprise at the moment of birth. as Leah L. shares: “Can I tell you that it was the most exciting thing EVER!!!!!!!!!! when that baby came out my hubby yelled on the top of his lungs, ‘It's a boy!’”

Caroline G. agrees: “We let our first be a surprise and it was amazing! Even though it’s really emotional already... it just made it that much more... emotional!” Jolene T. also found the upcoming surprise served as extra motivation during labor: “I hated delivery and decided it was what I was going through delivery for…It made delivery so much more enjoyable.”


2. Useful Baby Gear

Worried you won’t be able to stockpile pink or blue gear if you wait? As Sandy G. noted, limiting pre-birth purchases to gender-neutral items has its benefits: “Now we have all sorts of neutral clothing and gear for the rest of our children. The best thing was that at my shower we got lots of really practical things instead of just clothes.”

3. Gender Expectations

If you or your partner is not-so-secretly hoping for a particular gender, Julie G. contends that you'll eliminate any disappointment by delaying the big reveal: "My doctor said it best: “I have a lot disappointed dads in the sonogram room but I have never seen a disappointed dad in the delivery room.” Additionally, since sonograms are sometimes read incorrectly, waiting to find out the sex ensures you won’t have planned for a Michael when you actually have a Mikayla!

Why Find Out Early?

1. Just Can’t Wait

Jamie L. is one of many moms who much prefer having information early over months of suspense. As she puts it, “I found out with both because I just couldn’t wait… I don’t like surprises, never did.”

Maria B. agrees: “This pregnancy I was going to let it be a surprise but when the time came and the tech asked if I wanted to know I totally broke down and practically shouted ‘YES!’”

2. Pre-Birth Bonding

Many moms found they bonded more strongly with their unborn child when they knew they gender. As Leanne F. shared: “I LOVED knowing. It seemed to make the baby more real. I had a gender to put to the baby. I felt more connected to him as he kicked and moved inside of me. I am pregnant again, and we are definitely finding out again.”

3. Extra Prep Time

Eager to paint the nursery pink and shop for baby clothes? Many moms love preparing their home for the baby's arrival with a specific gender in mind. Others are grateful that finding out the sex cuts baby name battles in half! Another factor: knowing the baby's gender makes it easier to prepare older children for the arrival of a little brother or sister. As Natalia W. explained about her 4-year-old daughter: “We'll need a few months to talk Shayla around if we're having a boy because she is determined to ‘send it back if it's not a sister!’”

Image Source: Meagan via Flickr/Creative Commons

Join The Conversation
IvanSazon1388511755 IvanSazon1388511755 3 years
Yor baby gender Baby gender by parents photo. it's realy work
BrendaOReilly98348 BrendaOReilly98348 6 years
We didn't find out on our first son. Then I got pregnant when he was 9 months old, so we found out the second time we were having another boy, cos that was the last!!! Made no difference, we just wanted to know.
DoraLoCascioWiggs DoraLoCascioWiggs 6 years
We wanted to be surprised with our first child for a couple of reasons. The surprise alone is exciting. The 2nd reason was so my husband would be more involved with the birth of our child. He felt so honored going out into the waiting room to greet our friends and family and announce "it's a boy"! We our now expecting cutie pie#2 and are going to be surprised once again. People have asked us "don't you want to make the room pink/blue and get the gender appropriate clothing ready". Our response "it doesn't matter if the baby was going to be a girl/boy we were just happy and blessed to be able to have children". Also gender specific items were not important to us. We did the nursery in a neutral aquarium theme and had the babys clothing 0-3 months in neutral colors/patterns all ready.
DonnaThiessen DonnaThiessen 6 years
I didn't find out either time. There are so few times when you can be completely surprised. I had a daughter first and then a son and was so happy both times.
BernadetteMackie BernadetteMackie 6 years
I don't think there is any "should" or "shouldn't", what's right for one person isn't necessarily right for the next. I badly wanted to find out with my two and got so sick of people telling me I shouldn't. It's nobody's business but mine and my husband's. Even more annoying is when those same people demand to know as soon as you have found out.
LisaGauthier83750 LisaGauthier83750 6 years
I really wanted to know so that I could refer to my baby as him rather than it when talking to people about my pregnancy :) Plus, I knew that if I was having a girl I wanted to go overboard with decorating in pretty, frilly stuff rather than going neutral like we ended up doing for our little boy (all jungle animals which would have been appropriate for either but for my future little girl I want the frills)
LoriMolina28488 LoriMolina28488 6 years
My husband and I found out with both our kids on the ultra sound. My oldest was spread wide eagle so the Dr. confirmed she was a girl. My youngest on the other hand was shy and didn't want us to know what she was. So she was kinda a surprise since we didn't know if she was a boy or girl, but when the Dr. delivered her the nurses go awe its another girl!
KrystaMarino KrystaMarino 6 years
I've never been good at surprises always been the type to peak at the gifts before it was time to open them... & when it comes to a child I feel that knowing the gender helps you prepare for his/her arrival and the different things you need... I wasn't okay with only buying yellow clothes
ShainaCampbell ShainaCampbell 6 years
After our first, I didn't want to know. My husband made the ultrasound tech tell us with babies 2 & 3, even though I didn't want to know. I avoided that with 4 by not having an ultrasound! I didn't like them anyway. Baby #4 was born at home and i got to announce a girl.
malisasavage malisasavage 6 years
we found out with my son ( i was hoping for a girl).... but couldnt be happier with a little boy. he is the first one of our family. Im going to be surprised for our next one.
StephanieSkolte StephanieSkolte 6 years
We found out for both of our girls and I am glad we did! However if we are lucky enough to have another I think we will wait. We would both like a boy (my husband more strongly than me) and I think it will help my husband deal better if we do have another girl! Like the article says, when that new baby is in your arms, how can you possibly be disappointed!!
JennaWarren JennaWarren 6 years
I found the gender of my son at 25 weeks, for the next one I want to find out during pregnancy as well, but the 3rd one.. if we decide to have a 3rd and last one, will be a surprise!
rickiknauff rickiknauff 6 years
i did find out with my first open to the idea of not finding out with my next,but it will depend on if the future dad wants to or not.
WendyZavala60410 WendyZavala60410 6 years
but I also bought neutral things. I had planned to find out the sex of my daughter as well , but we couldn't tell during the ultrasound so it ending up being a surprise. It did provide extra motivation during delivery because I was ready to know whether I was having a boy or girl. If I ever have another child I plan on finding out the sex of the baby. I believe that it very personal choice and nobody can make that choice but you.
VictoriaSlaugh VictoriaSlaugh 6 years
we found out we were having girls both times at 20 weeks. I wouldn't change that for the world but we plan on waiting til the day our next child is born to find out.... in a few years lol
KristynB41745 KristynB41745 6 years
My husband found out at 20 weeks while I waited till the day our daughter entered the world! It was the best experience for the both of us. He couldn't tell anyone but it helped him bond with our baby before hand & the surprise for me kept me from having any gender disappointment.
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