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Symptoms of Postpartum Depression

The Tough Reality of Postpartum Depression

Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this one about one mom's first-hand account of her bout with postpartum depression.

It's been almost seven months since my second baby was born. Not coincidentally, it's been almost seven months that I haven't felt like myself. I've been having a hard time since becoming a mom for the second time around, and I'm beginning to understand why. The days have lost their luster for me, and I'm finding that it's becoming more and more difficult to get through them.
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The feeling that has dominated the last several months is guilt. I feel guilty that I'm not enjoying motherhood to its fullest. More often than not, I'm in tears by the end of the day. Most of the time, I can't even pinpoint what started my emotional breakdown.

After having my first daughter, I went through the baby blues for a few days. Once that postpartum hormonal surge quieted down, things were good. I took C. on walks, we played outside, we cuddled a lot, and I was happy. This feels vastly different. This time around, I've holed myself up in my house. It's been really hard for me to get out. I'm so overwhelmed at the thought of taking two very young kids out, that I almost always avoid it. This, among other things, has made me feel like a failure as a mom.


Click here and see if you can relate to this mom's struggles with postpartum depression

I'm not the only one out there with two little ones, yet I feel like I'm the only one struggling. I've gone dark on most of my friends and family. I've been avoiding one-on-one interactions from almost everybody because I'm afraid of shattering the ideal that life at the Buckley house is perfect. My husband has been amazing. He holds me while I cry and try to figure out why I'm having such a hard time. He tries to get me out of the house on my own to have a break from being a mommy, and he helped me sign up at the gym because they have childcare, just to get out of the house during the day. I know he's worried about me, and he doesn't know how to help me.

I've tried to keep these feelings a secret for so long. I'm afraid of being judged, of well-meaning yet unhelpful advice like "get out of the house more" or "maybe you should put your kids in daycare." I don't think either of those will help. Most of all, I'm afraid of getting a diagnosis of postpartum depression. I didn't even know that was a possibility this late in the game until about an hour ago. I know that I can't live like this anymore — it's getting too hard to pretend that everything is okay. I owe it to my family to be happy and healthy, I just don't know how to get there.

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Join The Conversation
SoniaCampos1385528499 SoniaCampos1385528499 3 years
OMG this is me right now and i don't know how to deal with it is hard to get out of the house with two kids so sometimes I just stay home and don't take advantage of abeautiful day outside then I feel guilty because I didn't take out my three year old outside to play so I gloom then my husband comes home and I have to serve him so he eats then we come to the bedroom to lay down and that's it we hardly talk about us igive him what he wants sexually but I'm not satisfied in the end with a anything ilove my kids they're so cute I want to be a good mother and enjoy it and be happy but sometimes it just doesn't work so I'm not in the mood of nothing and just shut myself off from the world need someone to talk to
JaniceMorze JaniceMorze 3 years
This hit me dead on. I too was diagnosed with PPD after the birth of my second continued on and off so I figured it was normal...but after many years of suffering because I did not take it seriously and did NOT get out of the house or have a supportive partner, I wound up being diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder after a suicide attempt. Get out to that gym, take help, get a therapist and learn to deal with the feelings you are having. Now 4 years later and out of my marriage and happy again I am devoting my work to helping others deal with the issues of depresion, suicide, anxiety and abuse.... Please...good luck
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