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Things That Toddlers Do

27 Telltale Signs There's a Toddler Living in Your House

Kids come in all shapes, sizes, and personality types. But when they pass through those terrific, tumultuous ages of about 1 1/2 to 4, there are certain characteristics that most every tot seems to have in common. As members of the elite toddler society, your little kids will be prone to outlandish requests, impulsive actions, and extreme reactions. But you don't need us to tell you that. Which of the following signs of a toddler takeover are happening in your home, right at this very moment?

Source: Thinkstock / evgenyatamanenko

  1. There's a pile of rocks on your coffee table.
  2. You spend more money on milk than you do on your own wardrobe.
  3. Your dog has learned to tolerate poking, prodding, and the occasional tail tug.
  4. There are crayons in the bottom of your work bag.
  5. There's play dough in the bottom of your weekend bag.
  6. There are Cheerios everywhere. Literally, everywhere.
  7. Your baby-proofing efforts have proven futile.
  8. You find yourself having to wash the same princess/dump truck/dinosaur/Mickey Mouse t-shirt at least three times a week.
  9. You've had to hide a beloved book come bedtime because 30-plus reads in one week is JUST TOO MANY.
  10. You have a stain somewhere on your clothing at this very moment (go on, take a look).
  11. Frozen waffles are your BFF.
  12. "Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street" is in your head. Almost 100 percent of the time.
  13. When it's not, the Dora/Thomas/Yo Gabba Gabba theme is.
  14. Someone has said "no" to you at least 15 times today.
  15. You wonder — frequently — just how much of what goes on in your house your neighbors can hear.
  16. You have witnessed a 360-degree personality change happen right before your very eyes.
  17. You (almost) accidentally offered to "kiss and make the boo-boo better" when your co-worker got a paper cut.
  18. Your driveway is covered in sidewalk chalk.
  19. You have to block off at least 35 minutes each night for the never-ending bedtime ritual.
  20. Sometimes the bathtub is their best friend — others, a dreaded enemy.
  21. You'd be mortified to let someone else drive your car without an intensive cleanout/vacuuming.
  22. You need more coffee.
  23. At least one night this week, your dinner was consumed from a plate with dividers, using a teeny, tiny fork.
  24. Naptime is the best time.
  25. You're accustomed to clothes being outgrown while the tags are still on them.
  26. Your fridge is covered in abstract (extremely abstract) artwork.
  27. You find yourself in awe of your little person each and every single day.
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