Image Source: YouTube user Marc de Graauw
Although it no doubt tears you up to see your precious child sniffling and coughing their way through their Winter cold, any sane mom knows that you can't get through a flu season without a sarcastic thought or two regarding your child's inability to sneeze into a tissue. All mothers love their children, yes, but all mothers also have trouble keeping themselves from losing it when their kid wipes a line of snot across everything he touches throughout the duration of his stay in Flu-ville.
Read through for 66 real thoughts every mother undoubetdly has when their kiddo is sick.
Image Source: YouTube user America's Funniest Home Videos
- Geez, kid, you're burning up!
- Let me take your temperature to see what we're dealing with here.
- Just let me put it in your ear, it only takes a second.
- Please sit still, I'll let you watch Caillou.
- Just kidding, no I won't.
- That number would have probably been more accurate if you sat still, but you definitely have a fever.
- Well, this day is going to go differently than I thought.
- Please don't get your brother sick.
- Or your father.
- Shoot, or ME.
- This is going to be a long day.
- Or three.
- I do think her sneeze is adorable though.
Image Source: YouTube user Kyoot Kids
- Oh, you sneezed on my neck.
- Not surprisingly, that was anything but adorable.
- How long is it going to take to teach a 2-year-old to sneeze into the crook of her arm?
- I guess you're not going to nursery school today.
- I guess I'm not going to work today.
- Let's relax and rest up since you're not feeling well.
- What do you mean you want to play with Play-Doh?
- I can't disinfect Play-Doh when you're done with it, so no.
- Wait, I hate the Play-Doh, and now it will be ruined!
- Alright, Play-Doh it is.
- Oh come on, kid, sneeze into your arm!
Image Source: NBC
- That goes for coughing too!
- There aren't enough Clorox wipes in the world for this day.
- Wait, did I ever call the school?
- Here's a tissue, wipe that —
- NO. My sleeve is NOT a tissue!
- Looks like I'll be doing several loads of laundry today.
- Look! There's Paw Patrol on the DVR, let's watch some of that.
- (And nap?)
- Please let her nap. Pleasepleaseplease.
- She must be the only child who can be wide awake while this sick.
- The remote is not a tissue either!
Image Source: NBC
- Let's have some lunch.
- You're not hungry at all?
- Alright, well, maybe just a string cheese before you take medicine?
- No, ice cream is not the same as string cheese.
- Ew, this medicine smells disgusting.
- Don't let her see you gag.
- OK, let's take a sip of this delicious "cherry" cough medicine!
- Please swallow that.
- No, don't spit it out!
- Please —
Image Source: Warner Bros.
- It's alright, I was thinking of Jackson Pollock-ing our stark white kitchen floor anyway.
- Why did we put a white floor in here?
- Ah right, we didn't have kids back then.
- Yes, that is a mess, thank you for letting me know you made it.
- Let me just clean this up really quick.
- You don't look so great, kid.
- Well, that went from zero to 60 in about three seconds.
- Let me mop up this puke while you sit on the couch.
- OK, the kitchen is finally clean. Ish.
- You finally look sleepy, let's snuggle for a little bit.
- I'm feeling pretty exhausted myself.
- Wow, that was a big sneeze.
- I didn't sneeze into the crook of my arm — must make a note to self to set a better example.
- Oh gosh, I just sneezed.
- And I feel a little nauseated, come to think of it.
- And I'm hearing things . . . wait, that's my phone!
- Ugh, the ringing is going to wake her up!
- My other kid just threw up in school, great.
- It's happening.
- It's the family flu-pocalypse.
Image Source: Paramount Pictures
- See you on the other side, world.