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Time Away from Kids

How Long Have You Been Away From Your Kid?

The wedding season has started for my husband and me. We have nine friends getting hitched in the next few months and are wondering what to do with our babe during these mostly adult–only weekends.

My saintly mother took care of our daughter this past weekend as we jetted off for the first of many nuptials. We've done this before but as baby girl gets older and more attached, it is becoming tougher to leave her.

After I kissed her goodbye, I went into my closet where my tears could not hide.

Gone for four nights, I'm not sure I could take much longer. What's the longest you've been away from your wee one?

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milosmommy milosmommy 9 years
My husband and I took a trip to Reno for 3days/2nights when my son was 4mos old. He stayed at home with my MIL who lives with us so it wasn't that much out of the norm for him and we knew he was in great hands so we didn't worry too much. But we called at least a couple of times a day to check in. Of course when we got back he came down with a cold. Makes me think twice a bit now about going away. lol
Coldplayer Coldplayer 9 years
We went on a weekend trip when my son was 16 months old. It was good for us, and he got extra special spoiling from my parents. We did leave a few hours earlier than we planned because we missed him though.
Drewsfan Drewsfan 9 years
Four hours, but he stayed with Daddy!
anniekim anniekim 9 years
5 nights in the hospital after my last c-section. Overnights with the grandparents. Once my daughter (then age 3) spent the night with my dad and stepmom and most of the next day. They visited for a while after bringing her back home. When they went to leave she followed them announcing "I'm coming with you." They let her and so that was 2 nights.
vickibug vickibug 9 years
My husband and I went to Switzerland and Germany for 10 days when my daughter was just shy of two and she stayed with his parents. We combined a work trip (his company is based in Switz.) and a short vacation for the 2 of us. I was really uptight and anxious for the entire week before we left (which, unfortunately was Christmas b/c we left on New Years) and I cried the entire night before we left her. But in the end it was a great experience for my husband and I and as much as I love her, the trip would not have been fun with a small child. But my daughter and I were both in tears when she and her grandparents picked us up at the airport. They told her that we were up in the sky and she said she needed a ladder so she could get to us. Isn't that cute??
maze1 maze1 9 years
At 3, my son went overseas with his dad to visit his dad's family for three weeks. I cried my eyes out for days. When I called (everyday)he was too occupied with his cousins to bother talking to me! It became odd to not be a mum for a few weeks, and you realise the impact
fsquaash fsquaash 9 years
We've left our 2-year-olds with grandparents for a few weekends and a week for our anniversary. I think our marriage is key to a healthy family and sometimes that means taking time away from the kids. Not everyone has family/friends able or willing to help them out, but I would recommend getting away at least for the weekend. I've seen many a marriage get into trouble because they neglect it for their children. If getting away helps connect, it's worth it.
Trixie6 Trixie6 9 years
My older daughter was 4 months old when we went to Hawaii for 4 days. My Mom & Sister stayed at my house with her so I felt a little better about leaving her. Now that she's older (14) she goes to see her Dad's family in Michigan for a week here and there in the summer. The longest I've spent away from my younger daughter was 4 days when she went to see her grandparents in Canada. She spends an occasional night at her adopted Granny's house. Our house feels too strange and empty for the kids to be away for too long.
Greggie Greggie 9 years
"You NEED your alone time, with your partner, you need to keep that intimate connection." Not necessarily. My husband and I have been able to keep our intimate connection without time away from our kids. It's different for every couple - if the couple ends up spending the time away from the kids feeling guilty and resentful, they're not going to enjoy each other and "connect." Each couple has to do what works best for them. There's simply no way I'd enjoy myself if my husband insisted we leave them in the first few years. It would drive us apart in the long run. Instead, we both understand and work on ways to maintain our intimacy at home.
abqmama abqmama 9 years
I left my son with my husband for a week once when he was 2 when I went on vacation with my friend. Of course, I was crying before I even got on my connecting flight. The longest my husband and I have left our kids together was about 5 days, and we called them every night. Of course, they were at my parents house which they are used to because they spend the night there once a week. I always feel so bad leaving them, even the once a week sleepover, but as soon as I am relaxing by myself or with my husband I feel much better.
kythera kythera 9 years
Ok, I don't have a child, yet. So I decided to read the comments to see what I'm up for. I already think that I won't have too much of a problem with leaving a child with someone long as you trust them. I don't think you should be guilty for doing that. You NEED your alone time, with your partner, you need to keep that intimate connection. Also to jimmalou1978: I don't think it is fair to bash your ex. He shares your son's genes so therefore he is 100% entitled to see his son. I don't think it's fair to act like that in front of your son, it could make him push you away. I have a stepson whom is almost 12 (came into his life when he was 8). My husband would talk crap on his ex all the time. I had to put a stop to that. It can damage a child when you say ANYTHING negative about the other parent. You should have a good relationship with the ex NO MATTER WHAT for the children involved. I love my stepson's mom. I would talk to her and negotiate times to see our son. We ended up becoming friends and have a lot of fun hanging out...without the kids. I think, jimmalou1978, that you should try to repair your relationship with your ex, and you could suggest he move back to your area, or you could move closer to him, so that maybe the both of you can swap him on a regular basis. Ok, getting off my soap box. Peace. 8)
Gabriela14815884 Gabriela14815884 9 years
My daughter is 15 months and I have not spent a single night away from her. I have plenty of people offering to take her for the night or what have you but I can't do it. Maybe after she is like 5 or something :P
Kristinh1012 Kristinh1012 9 years
Once we left our daughter when she was 3 for a week. It was torture. I cried the entire way to out destination and then every time I talked to her.....It was really hard. I wouldn't even had gone except I didn't realize how hard it would be to leave and we had planned the trip with other people and paid a lot of money. We had left her for weekends once a year before that so I thought I would be OK. I had a great time when I was preoccupied with something else but it was a rough week. My Mom did so much stuff with her though, she didn't even care that we were gone, but was so excited once we got home.
sundrops sundrops 9 years
Wow, I wonder how old the average age of the kids whose parents have never been away from them. Mine are almost 9 and 6 and I was ashamed to put we've only been away from them two nights at most!!! That means in 9 years we've only spent two nights away together. And I think that was just once. Geez!
Twinkle1 Twinkle1 9 years
Two nights is the longest we've ever been away from the kids and we've only done that twice. Sometimes I wish we could take off for a couple of weeks but I'd feel too guilty about that. :oops:
jimmalou1978 jimmalou1978 9 years
I am forced to be away from my son for 6 weeks during the summer due to his father's summer visitation. It's definitely not by choice; my ex does it to hurt me. It make my son more clingy the rest of the year, because he knows he's going to be away from me for those 6 weeks. I wish I could change it, but I can't. It's in the divorce papers. I hate my ex.
Greggie Greggie 9 years
About a week. I don't leave for more than a day or two while they're nursing because of supply issues (and I don't want to pump on vacation), so that rules out extended leave during the first three years or so. But I've actually never found it all that difficult, which makes me feel like a bad parent.
JennyJen2 JennyJen2 9 years
Overnight has been my limit. I am such a baby about it.
jennifer76 jennifer76 9 years
I've only ever spent a night away from them both. That's only happened a handful of times and Dad was home with them. If we lived anywhere near any of the grandparents, I'm sure it would be different.
rgrl rgrl 9 years
Never. My son is only 20 mos old and I can't leave him overnight yet!
lms lms 9 years
I left my daughter for about 2 weeks once when she was about 2. She stayed with my mother. My daughter has a very independent way about her and every time we called her she was too busy to speak to us. I was actually surprised that when we got back she held on to me and moaned for a few hours.
LiLRuck44 LiLRuck44 9 years
My husband and I went to NYC for three nights and left my 2 & 1 year old with my parents (also saints!). We missed them but the rush of NYC was pretty distracting.... I could see us being miserable if we were laying out all day on a beach somewhere missing them! Other than that we haven't left them.
lickety-split lickety-split 9 years
by 4 mine were asking to go to grandma's "alone! just me." i think they enjoyed the 1:1, and lets face it the spoiling. we didn't even go anywhere, just stayed with our other 2. my mom died last fall though so it's a good thing they had the chance, my did wouldn't take the girls by himself and my in-laws would never offer. that makes me sad to think about it, that part of their lives already being over. i think time with grandparents is so special for kids WHEN they are ready. maybe at some of the weddings you could co-op baby sit. if the bride set you up with the younger sister of a friend.
Kimpossible Kimpossible 9 years
We were once away from our then only 2 children (we now have 4) for 7 days and on that trip we learned that our limit was 5 days, after that we just missed them too much. Now that they're older it's easier but we still haven't been away from them for longer than a week yet. My oldest has been away from us for a month (she visits family in another state during the summer), that's rough, but it is good practice for when she leaves home in 2 years.
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