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Unsolicited Advice

Unsolicited Advice

It seems the minute your pregnancy starts showing, strangers come out of the woodwork to give you advice you never knew you needed. For the most part, you can take these strangers’ words of advice, nod politely, and promptly forget them. After all, you’ll probably never see them again. But when it’s your family and friends who are offering up their words of wisdom (even if they aren’t so wise), it’s best to develop a strategy for dealing with the advice in a nice way unless you want to spend every future family gathering in uncomfortable silence. Your mother means well when she tells you that she laid her babies on their backs to sleep and they all turned out just fine. She’s just passing on the advice she was given when she was a new mother. However, as research is done and new discoveries are made, advice and attitudes change.

An easy way to deal with unwanted advice is to say, “Oh thanks Mom (Grandma, Aunt Sally) for your advice. I’ll mention it to my doctor at my next appointment.” Then when Mom (Grandma, Aunt Sally) questions why you aren’t taking their advice, you can simply blame it on your doctor and say that he advised against it.

Sometimes, pointing out the latest article on the topic, will help the friend who’s giving you advice see that maybe it’s outdated.


And still other times, you might find that even though the advice is coming from an older relative, it’s still relevant. Some things are tried and true and stand the test of time. So, when Grandma makes her special ginger tea for you and your stomach is settled enough that you finally make it through a whole day without throwing up, you can thank her for sharing her knowledge with you.

The scariest part about this is that you’re bound to turn into your mother and start giving unwanted advice one day. I’m telling you, it happens! We were at a family gathering when my pregnant sister said she was hungry. There were sandwiches on a table, but she refused to eat.

“Why don’t you have a sandwich?” I asked.

She looked at me like I was daft and said, “Because I’m pregnant (duh!).”

“I don’t get it. Have a sandwich.” “I can’t eat lunch meat!”

She said the words “lunch meat” the same way one might say “rat poison” or “arsenic” or “liver.” I stared at her, clueless as to what lunch meat had to do with anything. She explained that pregnant women were not supposed to eat lunch meat. That was a new one to me. I, of course, was totally understanding and supportive as I told her, “That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. I ate lunch meat throughout my pregnancies and my kids turned out perfectly normal!” Right on cue, my son Clay passed us, wearing his pants on his arms, his shirt on his legs and walking backward. My sister cast a dubious look between me and my son.

You might as well get used to the unsolicited advice now because if you find all this daunting, just wait. It gets worse once you actually have the baby.

Author and award-winning mommy blogger Dawn Meehan is the creator of the popular and hilarious Laugh your way through your pregnancy with Meehan’s humorous new book: You’ll Lose the Baby Weight (and OTHER LIES about pregnancy and childbirth.

Image Source: Circle of Moms

The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

Join The Conversation
mindy7123 mindy7123 4 years
i havnt had a period in two months i just got put on the nuvaring and im cramping alot is that normal.. could i be pregnant or not
KarenJackson36975 KarenJackson36975 5 years
My "unsolicited advice" for any one who is expecting or even already has kids is this: As a parent, it is our job to do what is best for our kids. Since each one is different, some things may work, and some things may not. Listen to every piece of advice you get. That does NOT mean you will, or even SHOULD, heed that advice. However, keeping in mind that different things work for different children (or pregnant women) at different times, you may be surprised that the one thing you thought would never work for you or your child, may one day be your saving grace. It is our jobs as parents to gather as much information as possible (advice included), and then to do what is best for each of our kids.
AnissaFranks AnissaFranks 5 years
The advice isn't as bad as the MIL (married or not) acting like she is the one pregnant and trying to control you and yor baby's future.. Now thats annoying!!
LindsayJ74027 LindsayJ74027 5 years
whats even WORSE, is when someone who had an abortion, and a miscarriage (from drinking , smoking and hot tubing) tries to give you advice....
SeriniteeHall SeriniteeHall 6 years
What's worse is when someone who has no kids starts giving you advice...
RuthFarr RuthFarr 6 years
I have had to start being blunt with people my little girl is 20 months old now and im still getting it so now I just say thanks for your opinion but I am going to raise my child my way and if I make mistakes they will be MY mistakes but thanks for offering your advise. its taken me ages to get to this point though and I always felt like I was letting someone down.
CoMMember13631166137992 CoMMember13631166137992 6 years
I never got used to the unwanted comments people said to me when I was pregnant. I had a bad case of morning sickness that lasted a very long time and the last thing I needed was strangers telling me I looked awful.
CrystalHodges89510 CrystalHodges89510 6 years
LOL this is so funny and true. I got so much stupid advice while I was pregnant, like I needed to scrub my nipples with brillo pads if I was going to breast feed or not to raise my arms above my head or I would strangle the baby. My doctor had a good laugh when I told him some of the advice I was given.
MarshaMais MarshaMais 6 years
I'm a very curt individual and I'd just firmly tell the person that's I'd already birthed 3 children...I think I know what I'm doing by now. But that's just me.
ShaneCrouch ShaneCrouch 6 years
Lol, she's right. It's so irritating when someone just HAS to tell you what to do and then you end up turning around and doing the same thing to some other unsuspecting pregnant soul.
BrianaLee BrianaLee 6 years
lol that's funny and I love lunch meat sandwiches its one of my favorite meals so now when I go to Subway I just eat the steak or the chicken.
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