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(VIDEO) Mom Wants Justice Over Anti-Bullying Lesson

(VIDEO) Mom Wants Justice Over Anti-Bullying Lesson

Most parents are eager to see school bullying dealt with strongly, but one Texas parent says her son's kindergarten teacher took the discipline too far. Amy Neely, a San Antonio-area mom, says her 6-year-old son Aiden was accused of bullying—and that his teacher forced the other students in his class to line up and slap him as a punishment. Worse, the teacher reportedly told Aiden not to tell his parents about this punishment. 

Since then, his teacher has been fired (along with another teacher who failed to report the incident), but Amy says this is not enough. School district police report that the teacher has been charged with a misdemeanor of "official oppression," and Amy Neely wants a reassurance that this teacher will never step foot in a classroom again. 

How should schools deal with bullies?

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barb75473 barb75473 5 years
Although I do not agree with this teachers method of disipline, as a mother and grandmother, I firmly beleive that all of you helicopter parents that do not disipline your children at home are the root cause of the bullying epidemic. Corporal punishment should be re instated in schools and as it was when I was young and my children were young, a bit of healthy fear of your parents was good. It is YOUR JOB to make sure YOUR childs moral compass is clear and good. If you have a bully in your home, you are not doing your job as a good parent. Children need guidance and structure to become good adults - somthing that seems to be lacking with todays parents. There seems to be no respect from children - please do not mutter " respect has to be given to be received - that is crap. Children learn by example so set a good one, but make sure you hold them to the "rules" of good conduct. I will probably be blasted for my comments, but I have wonderful adult children and exellent and happy grandchildren. Make and enforce good behaviour at home a must and it will most times carry over to other social and scholastic events. As the good book says, "Spare the rod and spoil the child" if someone offered you a plate of spoilde food would you eat it? When you spoil things or people, only one thing happens - it becomes rotten. Happy parenting, and please do your jobs as parents. If you child is aggressive, then get to a counselor. The police are using violence to fight violence, so we all need to pull together to teach our children proper values.
JenniferDevonish JenniferDevonish 5 years
I am sorry that you have those stupid laws where you fire teachers for the silliest things. I dont think that she was wrong at all if he was bullying that child chances are he was doing it to others, and parents of bullies are fully AWARE of the things their little monsters do, i say WAY TO GO TO THAT TEACHER , but now she is gone who will look out for those children, not the other teachers for sure, because if they do ANY thing then they too will loose their jobs as well.The mother should be standing right beside her child getting the slap as well. I know an incident where 3 little monsters bullies their class and never was punished beside having their monsters for parents called to the school , and do you know what eventually happen they broke the little girls arm in three places while beating her into a pulp in a bathroom one of those broken places cause her now to have a deformed hand, the our rage will happen then but to late.BUT dont fear bullies are often raised for prison or violent death so they will get whats coming to them at some point in time. Sorry to be so harsh.
LaneseBoteilhoBelschner LaneseBoteilhoBelschner 5 years
I am an elementary teacher and this blows my mind on so many levels. First of all, my guess is that this was not an isolated incident. I'm guessing this child had issues leading up to this teacher's action. I'm wondering what other things the teacher did first. Did she notify the parent that her son was having issues? Did she notify administration for help? From reading the article I'm guessing this mom is the type that thinks her child is perfect and can do no wrong which complicates things. It is NOT OK for that teacher to have other children hit him, not is it OK for a teacher to lay a hand on a child themselves! She has just sent a major message to those students. She says bullying is bad, but hitting is ok? She deserves to be fired, and the school needs to get better things in place to help guide teachers. My school has very specific things in place and my administration is great at helping to support teachers. I hate this happened, but hopefully this will be learning lesson for all. To that mom, WAKE UP AND FIND YOUR SON HELP. NO Kindergarten child should be bullying other students. Maybe she needs some parenting classes.
JulieDillon JulieDillon 5 years
Of course this teacher was fired! Physical Abuse is against the law. Bullying isn't. Her mode of discipline has nothing to do with "teaching lessons, or bullying?" No excuses!! Bye Bye Bitch....
bethadewey bethadewey 5 years
I'd love to know how often the teacher made attempts to stop the child from bullying. I don't think encouraging the other kids to hit the kid were very smart and that makes this story so bizzare. . .sounds like the teacher was at the end of her rope. As class sizes get bigger, issues like this are harder to deal with without zero tolerance at school. Teachers should be allowed to suspend students like that child. them over a few months with private meetings where I wold tell them, "I want you to have lots of friends and school. Do you want lots of friends? (child usually said 'yes', You will not have ANY friends if you continue to bully others. You will be known as a bully and not a person who will be a friend." None of that helped. I send notes home to the mothers and fathers and received absoutely no response much of the time. I sent the kid to the principal's office who contacted the parents on a number of occasions. I'll never forget the day that I spoke to the parents of one child and after all that I had tried, their response was, "Isn't there something you can do at school?" Teacher's do not go into the profession to make life miserable for children. . .they do it to teach. When student behavior is bad and teachers can't teach they not only have to deal with the bully's parents but the parents of the child(ren) being bullied. "Why are you letting that child disrupt the class?" Kids go home with tales. I'd send those parents to the principal and the principal would call me to investigate how I am dealing with it. That is why I kept copious notes of every communication with the child (made copies of the notes), every phone call to a parent, notes on every time a parent contacted me, every time I sent the child to the office, detailed all of my measures to stop the bad behavior. This was just for one child. I had files with copious note on 4 children one year. Talk about time consuming. I was not a counselor, I was a teacher who had problemmatic children that prevented me from doing my job.
CoMMember13630908223322 CoMMember13630908223322 5 years
I agree with Dora. The teacher went too far but I can understand how she was driven to it. The mother did nothing to stop her child from bullying and so it went to that. The teacher should not have been fired! In this case then the mother should be fired for raising such an awful, disrespectful child. Same difference. I was bullied when I was younger and then had to deal with bullies with my own three boys. When I got into the school system as a special education assistant, I found myself having to deal with bullies. If sending them to the principal didn't work, I told them that I would arrange for them to be bullied, one at a time, since they liked doing it so much. Trust me, it worked! I never had to follow through with what I said, but I was more than willing to do so because no one else at home was. All I ever heard was, "My child would NEVER do that! You have to be "mistaken" (otherwise known as lying). It got old fast.
doraHetrick doraHetrick 5 years
Having been a teacher for about 25 years, I agree that the teacher went TOO far. However, Aiden's mother needs to get past dealing with the teacher and begin dealing with her son. She needs to stop his bullying if that, indeed, is what he has been doing. Too many parents, upon hearing that their children misbehaved, jump all over the teachers and ignore what their children had been doing to cause the situation. That way, their children have manipulated them into ignoring their bad behavior. These children have a rocky road in school because they were never taught how to behave.
NanciTesauro NanciTesauro 5 years
teachers are supposed to be so educated on dealing with social situations and children, how did this teacher get her credentials anyway????
CharlitaDiaz CharlitaDiaz 5 years
I think all the adults in this situation need a wake up call. The teacher was most definitely wrong in how she dealt with the child who was bullying. She was also wrong in making the other children hit the bully. With that being said I would also like to know what the parents of the bully are doing to stop him from bullying other kids. It just blows my mind that the mom admits that her son is a bully, but didn't state how she was trying to deal with the issue. We unfortunately live in a time where people get frustrated about things that don't get resolved and then decide to take matters into their own hands (usually at the detrement to themselves and others). All the adults should have sat down and tried to figure out something before it got as bad as it did. Now you have a bunch of children who have probably been told to never hit another person confused, two teachers fired, and a parent on the war path trying to fix a situation that she and her husband should have taken care of a long time a go. It's just a situation that makes you scratch your head and wonder whose doing the parenting sometimes.
ReginaFeeney ReginaFeeney 5 years
I'm some what shocked by the comments posted below, the 6 yr old boy was accused of being a bully, no proof has been offered in this article to substantiate that accusation, the only proven bully in this piece is the teacher who used the children in her care as a weapon against a 6 yr old child who was at her mercy, and she didn't show any.
AnastasiaRoberts AnastasiaRoberts 5 years
I think it would be marvellous if there was a magic formula for parenting wherein if we followed a simple, consistent set of rules our children would be well-behaved, empathetic and capable of making correct moral choices even under stressful conditions. We wouldn't need to have words for discipline if we didn't need to discipline. In the real world however children will behave badly even when they know and understand the consequences because that's what kids do, unfortunately. That is is why it's up to the grownups to correct and guide them to appropriate behaviour. In other words, the precise opposite of what that ex-teacher did, not only to the boy who was acting like a bully but in an even more egregious sense to the other small children who were instructed to take place in an act of physical assault. This was a 6 year old child behaving badly, not a teen beating down others for lunch money and thrills. Maybe his parents could be doing a better job in the home, maybe they are doing everything right but there is something outside of their control that is provoking the child. At 6, a kid doesn't have the inhibitions we wish they would, they can have undiagnosed learning and social disabilities, they can deal with unhappiness through inappropriate behaviour, we don't know from what was shared in the video and text whether this child showed chronic misbehaviour or if his actions were an isolated incident. We don't know if the teacher or school was actively communicating with the parents about the boy's behaviour or whether the parents were receptive or disinterested. We can only make assumptions. It doesn't really matter anyway. The teacher's actions were disgusting and apparently criminal as well which would remain true even if the boy had been exhibiting the warning signs of a future sociopath. It went well beyond mere "poor judgement". Someone who attempts to correct a bully by committing a grandiose act of bullying against that child should not be responsible in any way for the care of children. Someone who directs small children to systematically assault another human being has no clue as to the need or nature of discipline. Someone who forces others to go against their conscience in wronging another has no business being in charge of any other people in any way shape or form. Someone who knows that what they are doing is unconscionable will instruct their victims not to tell others, which is precisely what happened. Regardless of whether they participated with willingness or reluctance the other students were harmed by this individual's cruelty and gross incompetence. Hooray for the children that had the moral sense to see what took place was not right and were reluctant to hit the boy. How unfortunate it was that the person entrusted to educate and guide them was not capable of demonstrating similar standards.
TheresaWeldon TheresaWeldon 5 years
All I can say is that this kid must have been an awful bully for the teacher to take this step. I hope this mother does something for her son - teach him appropriate behaviors so he doesn't grow up to be a self-entitled brat that eventually becomes a criminal in our justice system. The teacher used poor judgment, but honestly, in today's world, calling the parents and asking that they actually parent their child really doesn't do much good because most parents are unwilling to do it. My child was a victim of bullying and the teachers couldn't do much and the parents were unwilling to do anything. This boy had emotional issues and was under treatment by a child therapist, through the school, not the parents, but continued to hit my daughter, push her, rip her artwork from her hands and tear it to pieces. I handled the situation with the parents directly, outside of school, in a manner that some might not agree with, but was the final straw for me. I also had my daughter moved to another classroom away from the bully...but the other kids in the classroom still have to endure the little monster. I hold the parents 1000% accountable for this kids' behavior.
PrudenceKuhn PrudenceKuhn 5 years
I'm glad to see this mother so enthusiastic to have the teacher punished. Now if she will tell us what she is doing to train her son to go to school with others without bullying, threatening or terrorizing, we'll really gain something from this situation. I've always thought that any child who bullies should go to a special school where all the children are bullies. Then everybody will be happy.
BritJoseph BritJoseph 5 years
I love how the main focus is the mother here. While I agree that these things are born at home, the fact is that a teacher should NOT be condoning additional violence against children. Honestly, how much better was she than this "bully?"
RebeccaRogers61357 RebeccaRogers61357 5 years
Ok, I agree the teacher went too far but did the parent(s) ever address what their son did? I tell my boys if they are ever caught bullying someone else they will get it at home. I have also told them they are not to EVER start a fight but they have EVERY right to defend themselves.
CoMMember1363116996225 CoMMember1363116996225 5 years
WOW That was extreme punishment. Way back when I was in school, any child caught bulling or any other offense, were sent to the principals office, parents called in and a solution was reached. Teachers should never punich a child in the classroom. They should never be expected to do what parents fail to do at home. Somebody should get at the root of the real problem. What makes these kids bullies in the first place?
CherylDeloatch CherylDeloatch 5 years
Unfortunately, schools and teachers are limited today in what they can do to enforce discipline. Many parents have the "not my child" syndrome. While what the teacher did was not right, I can only imagine having to stand around and watch other kids be victimized while nothing you've done to prevent it works. I'm not going to pass judgement on this teacher as she is being dealt with by her schoold district and the courts. I will say this however. When a child is bullied and nothing is done about it, it's the same as having kids line up and slap the child. It happened literally to the bully this time. But everytime a child is bullied and nothing is done, it is akin to the same thing. Parents need to look at how their kids interact with others and take action to correct aggressive and inappropriate behavior. He or she will not just "grow out of it." As parents, we must take action when children are young. Otherwise, we are doing them a grave disservice.
LisaJordan40344 LisaJordan40344 5 years
Pat, you are so right! Sadly, where my children attend elementary school they only claimed to have a zero tolerance to bullying. My son, along with several other kids in his grade were being hit, kicked, and pushed by another kid. Teachers even witnessed him smacking another boy across the face and he was sent to the office and nothing every happened to him, what is worse is they never even called the parents of the kids hit by this kid. My son was coming home telling me that he told on this kid for hitting/punching him & nothing was done. I went to the school and they told me they knew he was a problem and assured me they would handle it, well they didn't and after my son telling on him 2 more times with zero results I told my son to fight back. The next day the boy went to punch my son and he was met with a fist in his face instead. They both got sent to the office and the principle told them "I don't want to see you boys back in here" I never even got a call that my son had been in a fight. It was 2 weeks before school was over and my son didn't have any more problems out of this child. Thankfully, we have a new principle next year and I hope he really has a zero tolerance for bullying. Oh and these were 3rd graders. Parents need to discipline their children at home, when a kid is a bully it is the parents fault and they have failed their child.
lorraine13384 lorraine13384 5 years
i think the teacher was so wrong in doing this. we had a teacher teaching six year old children at our local school and she quite often would rip up the childrens work if she didnt think it was good enough.openly ridiciule and taunt children often making her class repeat the things she said to the child who misbehaved.went as far as smacking a child and forbidding any child in the class to have any thing to do with this child. teachers can be bullies too and abuse their power. shame on them.
PartheniaJasper PartheniaJasper 5 years
The 6 year old knows what "bullying" is. Don't be fooled. Teacher needs to be slapped for allowing kids to do that. He should have been punished and not allowed to participate in ANYTHING fun for say.....a week or so. Then talked to and told what happens when bullying occurs. Given an example of putting the shoe on the other foot:) Ask him how he would feel if someone did that to him?????? Yes, make him the receipient. (not literally) Then maybe he will understand. if not, extend the punishment....He will get it sooner or later when he is not allowed to have any fun.. BTW... Guess he will not be a Bully anymore.....
KristaOlivierZwarts KristaOlivierZwarts 5 years
This teacher completely abused her position of trust by abusing all 25 children in the class. Next time any of these children have a disagreement, it is very likely that the idea will occur to report it as bullying and expect the teacher to have the whole class help to physically hurt the other child. I understand that this little boy's mom is upset. Especially because her son was too scared to tell her. The principal phoned her weeks later, unfortunately there is no further clarity on how he found out nor the situation that precipitated this horrible incident of abuse. We cannot simply accept that the child was in fact being a bully, we don't know. If he wasn't being a bully, this has even extended the abuse dealt to him by having so many people commenting on him as a bully and creating awareness of him as a bully in his area. I must say, it feels to me that if he were a typical bully he would have complained to his mother and not have kept it quiet like his teacher had instructed him to. Just a feeling, could be completely inaccurate. Whether he was in fact a bully or not does in no way mitigate the seriousness of this teacher's behaviour. It is scary enough when adults hit children but to force children to perpetrate violence on one another smacks of a special kind of crazy. I hope the schools arranges a meeting with all the parents of the children concerned so that they can come up with a combined strategy to minimize the damage done and how to deal with bullying in the future.
AllisonAsh14529 AllisonAsh14529 5 years
Wow reading these comments, almost everyone disagrees with the mother... refreshing.
MonicaJenkins63986 MonicaJenkins63986 5 years
I appreciate you sharing that Pat. You bring out some wonderful points. I hope that every parent reads it. We can teach kids to love and respect themselves and they'll do the same to others. If they are full of self hate, lack of discipline, and an inability to accept the word "no". You can expect a world of trouble out of that kid. Love, don't spoil. Set boundaries. It's good practice for adulthood.
PatDillon PatDillon 5 years
What the teacher did was wrong, that is a definite. But why was this child not corrected at the source, at home. Children bully because they get away with at home. I never have and never will condone bulling. As a young teenager I was always being bullied. I tried to stop it, but no one seemed to care. Because these bullies (girls) were the popular girls, they got away with it. Until the day my Dad said enough. He went to the school and he laid down the law. No one thought my parents would stand up and say enough was enough. Thise scars have stayed with me even today. That little boy was wrongly dealt with, but why was his actions allowed to continue to the point where the teacher had to step in? What about the other children that he was hurting? They have rights. The right to feel safe in school, the right to feel he or she can play in the playgroung without being hurt, Bullies are cowards, plain and simple. But I do have a question for the boys mother, Where did your son learn to be a bully? At home or from an older sibbling or family member perhaps? Kids do not wake up one morning and Volia they are bullies. I have been running my own childcare for over 40 years, and I have seen my share of bullies. Thankfully I have been very fortunite in turning them around. Not all but for the most part. I truly hope this mother is bright enough to look in the mirror and take a good look at the person she sees and admits that most of the fault lies in her parenting skills. If this kind of acting out was not accepted at home, then it would never have happened at school. The teacher was fired, I can not feel sorry for her or the other one, but removing her license is not the answer. Suspenson of teaching privilages and probation when and if she is deemed fit to teach again. Another question is how is it that the school in question did not know what was going on in this classroom. Does the principal not walk through the halls and observe the classes? Our principal has zero tolerance for bulling. Never is any form of corporal punishment used. Loss of childrens privilages, counselling and if needed out of school suspensions. But she is always watching the kiddies and her teachers. That is how it should be. So inclosing mom discipline your kids yourself and no one else will ever had to. Check it out it is in your job discription as a parent. Thanks from a 64 years young Nanna with 42 years exper. with kids.
michelleshoesmith michelleshoesmith 5 years
At my kids school all bullies are sent to the principals office and then the parents are informed. I've been up to the school on a number of occassions because my kids were being bullied. So I think the kid should have been taken to the principal office and then if he continued his behaviour than he should be suspended for a week and if it keeps happening then 2 weeks, kids get bored not doing anything for 2 weeks.
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