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Views on Spanking

Did Your View on Spanking Change Once You Became a Mom?

Spanking is so passé... or at least that's what the experts will have you believe. Contrary to mom's lil saying, it turns out that a little paddling may hurt the kid more than it hurts the mom. A Duke study claims hitting a child will do more harm than good and applauds new philosophies of parenting where the focus is on positive reinforcement and offering options. While that all sounds warm and fuzzy, I was adamant that I would use spanking as a method of punishment in our home... before I became a mother.

The hand was no stranger to my bum though it was only used on rare occasions. When it came time for me to teach my daughter right from wrong, I popped her tush a couple of times and found it completely ineffective. She actually enjoyed the quick tap and giggled her way to more mischief. Eager to try a new plan, I gave her a time out in a not so fun part of the house — the dark guest room. In 60 seconds, I discovered that the new system was more compelling than making physical contact. At this point, I'll admit I am a reformed punisher but one should never say never. What works for my lass may not work for my son and I may be back to square one in the spanking debate.

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sunkissed49 sunkissed49 7 years
Personal opinion: There is a difference in teaching your child right from wrong and taking your frustration out on your child at their disobedience. My son is fifteen months old, and is fascinated with "tasting" power cords, we would lightly slap his hand and say NO.... it took about one week and all it takes now is a firm NO and he finds something else to do. " Spanking" gets a bad rep from people who don't know how to lovingly teach a child, don't get me wrong I grew up with spankings and I would never abuse my son, but firm discipline is a must.
0fashionqueen 0fashionqueen 8 years
I do not or ever will I spank my child.
sassy_chick sassy_chick 8 years
I completely agree with the comment about how we have more out of control children now. I'm a teacher, and I firmly believe that several of my students could benefit from a swat. Don't get me wrong, I as the teacher would never think about doing it. But I definitely think the parents should when "talking it out" doesn't work. I'm sick of raising their children for them.
starbucks2 starbucks2 8 years
I have not once been spanked as a child and I don't plan to ever use this method. Violence equals failure to me. And spanking is violence, I don't care what anyone says. I definetely plan on finding other ways of discipline. My baby girl's only 3 weeks old so no need for punishment yet. But I'd be so disappointed in myself if I ever had to resort to physical punishment!
Moms Moms 8 years
I don't believe in spanking. I respect other parents' opinions on the issue, but find it to be an illogical method of discipline for my family.
psterling psterling 8 years
I think spanking is ok if its done in moderation and the parent is calm and rational- never angry. That said, I think there are other equally effective methods out there and I would rather explore those options before resorting to a spanking.
MissSushi MissSushi 8 years
I will probably spank, but only for very severe things. Sometimes you need the shock of it as a wake up call. We hardly ever got spanked as kids, but the few times it happened becuase of severe and usually dangerous transgressions, it really made an impact. I got slapped across the face as a teenager when i was totally going over the line and it shut me up and kept me from doing it ever again. I needed the reality check to realize how god awful i was behaving. Taking away my stuff or grounding me would only have let me sit in my room stewing and becoming more angry about it. None of my siblings and i really ever misbehaved, and anywhere we went people raved over how well behaved we were. My mother used consistancy, manual labor, spanking when necessary, removal of priviledges and taking away our toys/electronics. Taking our things away worked for us becuase she didn't give them back. We weren't allowed outside, and we weren't allowed to play with anything. A few weeks of trying her patience out staring at the walls when you aren't scrubbing the floors and doing laundry for a 6 person household was miserable. I will be using a similar method.
Zivanod Zivanod 8 years
I don't intend to spank my kids but use the time-out method. The only time I ever got hit was when I was a smart-mouthed teen and I got a slap across the face. Although I was shocked, I think my mom was more upset them me.
Danni99 Danni99 8 years
If positive reinforcement and offering options is such a great way to parent, how come we're seeing so many more problems with out of control children? In my household, there are "spanking offenses." They're clearly established, and there's a warning before one is administered. IE, "If you don't stop mouthing off to me, the next step is a spanked backside. It's your choice." As a result, I have kids I'm not embarrassed by in public. I don't have to pander to my children, making them believe that there's "always an option," or that they're due some sort of praise no matter what their performance is. My kids get great grades, compete well in athletics, and are a pleasure for others to be around. They're still kids though, so we DO have discipline issues. However, spanking, when done properly, is a good reminder to kids that mom and dad are in control, and they're not "equal status negotiators" within the family.
bluepuppybites bluepuppybites 8 years
I was spanked when I was a tot too. I have popped my daughter on the bum and swatted her on the hand, I've only used these methods when she's put herself on danger. Otherwise we use timeouts and take away privliges.
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