Comedian John Crist isn't even a dad, but somehow he traveled down to Florida, entered the minds of exhausted, overheated parents, and managed to perfectly channel what it'd be like to go to Disney World with kids.
In his viral video, John says all the things we swear every parent has shouted at their children at some point between It's a Small World and Splash Mountain. A few classics?
- "It's 9:30 in the morning, it's too early to get wet."
- "No, you cannot have Goofy-shaped chicken nuggets. Sit down, your mother brought ham sandwiches."
- "You know what I want to ride? A park bench in the shade."
- "Get over here by the count of three or I will spank you into Tomorrowland."
In fewer than two minutes, he touches on all the frustrations that the happiest place on earth provides, from the endless search for air-conditioning to the very real need to keep counting your kids to make sure you haven't lost one. Plus, there's a hilarious reference to overpriced Mickey Mouse ears, a run-in with Tigger that'll make you do a spit take, and some not-so-subtle shade at Six Flags and France.
Essentially, it's as real as it gets.