7 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Having a Third Baby

This is a total First World problem, obviously, especially as there are a ton of people who struggle with getting pregnant, but this is a real thing to ask yourself. Do you want to go back to maternity clothes, swollen ankles, doctor's appointments, and weird cravings . . . with two other kids running around?

It's common to get nostalgic for the baby phase — it's easy to forget the sleepless nights in favor of the way a baby smells or how cute and small their clothes are — but that doesn't mean you should keep having babies. With the baby phase comes raising another tiny peanut into adulthood, and that's a lot to commit to if what you're really craving is just that first year of monthly photos and milestones. If this is all you're looking for, offer to babysit your friend's newborn.

Some moms have a very rigid plan in mind for how many years apart their children should be. If you don't, look at the ages of your two children now and make a decision. If they’re both young, do you want to nip the whole baby/toddler phase in the bud and keep rolling with the punches, or would you rather have a newborn when your other two are over the age of 3 or 4 and have achieved some level of independence?

Hey, kids are adorable and wonderful and magical, but they’re also really expensive. If your kids are older, you may have already gotten rid of all the major baby stuff, which means purchasing all that crucial gear all over again.

Not only that, but if your two children are still in car seats or booster seats, does you car accommodate a car seat for the new baby? Do you have enough rooms in your home for a family of five to grow into? Also consider how you plan to handle funding long-term expenses, like college, for your children — can you manage three four-year tuition payments? (Plus, if your kids are less than four years apart each, this also means simultaneous payments.)

How important is disposable time and money to you and your partner? Do you love being able to go on adult outings and date nights? Not only will a third baby potentially limit your ability to have some freedom as parents, but you'll have to shell out even more money for a babysitter who's willing to watch three little ones.

What about vacations? Taking a family of five on vacation means you basically have to buy out the whole row of an airplane and travel with more gear than fits in the overhead bin. Not only does that get pricey, but it's a ton of work that can make your vacation anything but relaxing.

With budgeting, you can very likely support a third baby, so ask yourself if you're excited to change your lifestyle and add to your family, or do you want to live more comfortably as a family of four?

Two kids, even if they’re spread apart in years, can bring on a lot of mental, physical, and emotional exhaustion. If you have a partner, your kid to adult ratio is one-to-one right now — if you’re still totally drained at the end of each day, imagine what life would be like with a newborn in the mix throwing off the ratio.

If you get your kicks pushing through the fog of sleep deprivation on coffee that’s been microwaved four times to the soundtrack of a tiny person yelling “Mom” every few seconds, then maybe you can handle the challenge of baby number three. If you're looking forward to the day you can finally get a few solid hours of sleep a night, a third baby may not be the way forward right now (or ever).

When you look at your two children, do you feel panic rising in your chest that one of them is about to rip the house apart in a tantrum over what color spoon they’re eating with, or do you have two independent kids who help out around the house, don’t need to communicate solely with tears, and can go to the bathroom on their own?

If the latter, are you ready to disrupt the flow — and possibly feel guilty you have to spread yourself between three little humans — by going back to the bottles and pacifiers phase? Or do you feel your family is primed to have a new addition join the ranks?