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What to Say When Your Kid Catches You in Bed

What to Say When Your Kid Catches You in Bed

“If your kids walk in on you and your partner having sex do you tell the truth about what you're doing? Or do you lie? Does their age play a factor in what you decide to tell them?” These questions, from Circle of Moms member Sara D., bring a topic that typically is whispered about in many homes into the open.

Sara confesses that “I’d probably lie,” but many moms report that they’ve gone to great – if not spontaneous – lengths in creative storytelling to avoid having to make the moment into a sexual education class. “It’s certainly a teaching moment, LOL,” adds Sara D. “But I think my husband would lie.”

Let’s face it, you know the day is going to come, that day when your grade school-aged kid marches into your bedroom in the middle of the night. Says Cheryl Z.: "Kids have a sixth sense [about] when their parents are going to have sex. It doesn't matter how deeply he is sleeping or if it is during his morning or afternoon nap or the middle of the night; I swear my son knows when daddy puts the moves on mommy and he does his best to stop it. Last night at 2 am he woke up out of nowhere just as we were starting, even though he had slept soundly all night. He must not want any brother or sisters!”


Several Circle of Moms members suggest having a story ready for the inevitable moment. “I told my four-year old that mommy was giving daddy a big hug before starting the day,” says Carolee Y. “The kids and I always hug throughout the day, so it was plausible that mommy just rolled over and hugged daddy (I think).”


Others say how they handle it depends on the child's age.“In 14 years it has never ever happened to us,” says Sherri C. “However, for teenagers it wouldn't need an explanation. For a toddler I would lie and come up with [something], like 'we were wrestling.'"

Some moms suggest parents just simply pretend nothing happened, even when they are caught smack dab in the middle of the act. When Laura and her hubby were interrupted,” their son never even asked what was going on. So, as many Circle of Moms advise, she just acted as if nothing had happened. “I just handed him the iPad and he went to play a game,” she says, adding a “LOL.” But, if her son were toddler, she says: “I'd lie to a little one. If they already knew what sex was then I assume they'd know what we are doing and wouldn't even ask. So I guess, if they asked, I'd lie. Walking in on mom and dad doing it isn't the ideal time to teach about sex I'd think.”

A few moms who have been caught say they now have taken to escaping to a new locale for sex. With older teen kids and a toddler, Louise G. says she and her husband almost stopped having a sex life after interruptions form their kids became a pattern. They decided to be creative, and started leaving the older kids with a babysitter and heading to a hotel for the weekend every 6-8 weeks - with their toddler! As Louise tells it, "Once she was in bed we would sit with a glass of wine and just chill out. It just helped us reconnect as a couple and gave us something to look forward to.”


Since her kids started catching on to what was going on in the bedroom, Tah D. and her husband have found creative places to “sneak” sex even when their three kids – ages three to 13 – are home. “The kids can be home or not,” she says. “We will go in the bathroom if we have to.”

Other Circle of Moms members feel it is important to simply tell it like it is.  “I would probably tell the truth, or a close approximation of it,” says Denikka G. “My oldest is only two-and-a-half though, so hasn't asked any questions yet, but he has walked in on us a couple times. At this point, we just don't make a big deal out of it. We stop and put him back to bed. In the future, I think honesty is the best policy. I may not tell him all the gory details if he's still really young, but something like ‘mommy and daddy are having special loving time’ or something like that.”

Becky T. agrees: “My daughter is 10 and I think at this point I would be honest with her. When she was smaller we ‘almost’ got caught a few times, but when the door opened, she didn't seem to notice anything strange and didn't ask any questions. I never had to lie to her about it. Now that she's 10 and has a pretty good idea what sex is, and catches on to some (not all, but some) sexual innuendos that people make (which are supposed to be over her head), I think she's old enough to realize the truth. Not to mention Mom's having another baby (any day now) and she's well aware that babies are created from Mom's egg fertilized with Dad's sperm.”

Have you ever been interrupted by your child?

Image Source: Fmitc via Flickr/Creative Commons

The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

Shaughnessy14935364 Shaughnessy14935364 4 years
My door has never had a lock and my daughter has walked in on me several times. It doesn't bother me at all. I have VERY open conversations with my daughter about EVERYTHING! She has known since about 18 months old the "proper" names of ALL body parts. So when she walked in on me the first time she was about 3 and I told her the male and female bodies are like puzzles and fit together like her giant puzzle she had at the time. As she got older; about 7 I had the sex talk. Sometimes she hears us, and the conversation the next day can be HILARIOUS! (She's 11 now)
TerralynPolege TerralynPolege 4 years
We have never had this problem and our children now range in age from 14 - 20. We simply taught our children to always knock and wait for an answer before opening a closed bedroom door, whether its ours or their siblings. Privacy is important and we should all be able to have privacy in our own bedrooms. We don't walk in on our children without knocking and we ask the same respect from them. and if all else fails locking the bedroom door stops the "inevitable" from happening so why even worry about what to say when your child walks in?
ChrissyCavey ChrissyCavey 4 years
No, we have never been caught, probably because we lock the door so that never happens. Just wondering why no one else locks the door?
AmyEdwards1908 AmyEdwards1908 4 years
We would always joke that our daughter could smell it in the air that there maybe something going on( not to be gross). So one night we locked the door and were getting warmed up and here comes the kid, about five, at 1 am, knocking at the door. So we let her in and she says "do you smell that" We both just started laughing. She always slept soundly through the night it was just too funny.
NicoleSherrard NicoleSherrard 4 years
We have a lock - just woke up early the other morning and were in the mood and didn't get up and lock the door. Our 9 yo woke up and walked in -- she didn't suspect anything and I asked her to shut the door as she walked out of the room...NOT the BIGGEST crisis in the world Lexann.
Monika1367595434 Monika1367595434 4 years
Lexann, we did just that. I can't believe that other parents would just leave the door unlocked, it kills the mood. But I'd advise moms and dads everywhere to have a talk about sex with kids early, because we just found out that even though we don't have a game console and encourage our kids to spend their time creatively and actively in our large yard, our 8 year old educated himself about sex in GTA at his 3 year older neighbour's house. ( I used to play GTA when I WAS 16 and UP!!!! so I know exactly what's in it). So now his first sex ideas are based on going to prostitutes (thankfuly :/ they added std's to the game so at least the game doesn't avoid the subject). GEEZ!
LexannJohnson LexannJohnson 4 years
What is WRONG with you people? Don't you have a LOCK on your bedroom door? If not, they are cheap! Go to Lowe's, buy one & install it. Geeezzz.... My husband and I have never been walked in on, because we LOCK THE DOOR!
Malinda14903055 Malinda14903055 4 years
I have 6 kids whose ages are 18, 16, 14,6,4 and 3 and a 1 yrd old grandbaby. They have NEVER walked in on me having sex. Me and my boyfriend have a healthy sex life. I lock my bedroom door. My older kids know what the deal is. My younger kids are more than capable of unlocking the doorknob that you can put the penny in to open. So I changed the lock on ALL the doors to one that requires the key that looks like the thing that comes on sardine cans. Of coarse my older kids showed them how to open them with a bobby pin lol. I simply told my toddlers that I changed the locks on the doors for a reason and if the doors is locked that means I do not want u comin in and they don't. Once they became old enough they slept in their own beds in their own rooms and not in mine. They don't get up in the middle of the night so they have no reason to come into my room. During the day time is when the "if my door is locked that means I don't want you comin in" rule applies. Now all my kids are in school and my grandbaby goes to daycare so it doesn't matter anymore :-).
TamaraBrooks24767 TamaraBrooks24767 4 years
I wonder how they did it way back when, when everyone slept in the same room? And there were large families. Things that make you go HUMMMM
kayahaskin kayahaskin 4 years
We have a 10 and 6 year old, and have NEVER been walked in on!!! I know it happens, and kids hear things, but really??? Go to the dang hardware store, spend $5 on a new door knob and bone (quietly) to your hearts content!!! It really is that easy! And it's not hard to install! It's only 2 screws and 5 minutes ladies and VOILA, you can have your husband ANY TIME YOU WANT!!! GOOD LUCK AND HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!
superbabe32 superbabe32 4 years
i do lock my door most of the time but when we are in the moment its easier said than done i was downstairs not so long ago my 15 year old special needs daughter came downstairs asking what the noise was i said my leg is really hurting and was screaming in pain as i have a condition called rhemotoid arthritis and am in constant pain anyway and my partner pretended he was asleep so she went to bed after i said i was ok and ill try and keep the noise to a minimum bless her she still doesnt know to this day maybe she will work it out one day but the least she knows the better lol
Vuyo99101 Vuyo99101 4 years
Why not just lock the door when you're having sex?
MrsOkerekeConcilia MrsOkerekeConcilia 4 years
We don't talk but just pretend because our door doesn't have a lock and i have been telling my husband to fix a door, and he keep on telling me it dosen't matter
April14377653 April14377653 4 years
We have an eyelet hoop and latch but our Mr. Muscles (2.5yo) can lift the door oh so much and the latch comes out of the eye!
KimCisneros KimCisneros 4 years
our daughter walked in on us when she was 5. We did not say anything at first, trying to think of something and then she said "are you guys playing dog pile on mommy?" (we wrestle with each other calling it dog pile). Enough said.
AshleyMcGowen AshleyMcGowen 4 years
All you saying "lock the door" my son has been able to unlock the door since he was one! We have one of those slit locks and all it takes is a coin or something similar to unlock... He is now 3 1/2!!
nurhidayatiharun nurhidayatiharun 4 years
That's happen to me too. I think before that lock your bedroom more be safely, the kids would undestand about that if they reach anough age, be passion , give naturally insting to work
ChristyOrlando ChristyOrlando 4 years
I tell my kids "mommy and daddy were wrestling" works for us. We now have a lock on our door
Evan14901579 Evan14901579 4 years
I have a 4 year old who is almost 5. There have been times when he walks in on us,asking for something like changing the cahnnel or wanting to play,we tell him he has to wait and we will be out soon.We have sex anytime Morning,Mid-day,Night. During the morning it's before he is awake,mid-day he is awake, we just put him on the ipad or tv and tell him to stay in the other room,night also when he is asleep. Both my husband and myself feel that no marriage should suffer "intimately" because you have a child/children. Also we occasionally lock the door if we want to try extra things,because that takes more time then the normal wham bam.
NicoleWinter11247 NicoleWinter11247 4 years
Jeez, Louise, people. Sex is natural, healthy and quite enjoyable. If your kids walk in on you, you have the option of telling them you are "Mommy & Daddy" and "Mommy and Daddy are having our special, private, snuggling time." All this "Get a lock," business and don't have sex when they're at home is just a bunch of silliness. There is absolutely nothing wrong with telling your children, (age appropriate,) to GTFO of your room and that you'll be with them in just a minute. No wonder parents are consistently burnt out / dispassionate towards one another. Take some time for yourselves!
CoMMember13631159589204 CoMMember13631159589204 4 years
You can't have it both ways. You can't lie to your children and then teach them not to. Eventually they will find out you lied. There is a way to talk to a child about it without lying to them.
LeslieWeimer LeslieWeimer 4 years
We do it when she is sleeping or at school.
HollyLee HollyLee 4 years
For those of you who cannot install locking doors, they used to have plates you could slip into the latch that would physically lock the door without disrupting the knob. These can save a lot of awkward moments.
DianeDennis54851 DianeDennis54851 4 years
When our daughter was about 3 or so she came to our locked bedroom door and asked from the other side "Daddy, why is Mommy crying?". ;)
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