Last weekend, I went to get my nails done with "gauze girl" as my friend has become known around here. Only six weeks into motherhood, she is in that fog that many mamas remember all too well.

Feeling tired, overwhelmed and sometimes incapable, she needed some reassurance so I told her to hang in there. In an effort to make her feel better about her situation and have a lil laugh, I shared some of my harrowing "new mommy" stories with her.

To see what one of my moments was,


Initially, my baby girl hated a wet diaper. The second she peed, her wails would sound. And, she wouldn't stop until she had a fresh diaper on her tush.

While I was out shopping one day, I took her into a dressing room so I could try on a dress. While I slipped it on, she began to cry. Embarrassed by her whimpering (read: afraid I looked like a bad mother), I pulled her out of her stroller and laid her on a large disposable lap pad.

I quickly took off the garment so I wouldn't chance soiling it with her mess or my milk. Back to business, I knelt down on the floor in my bra and undies and pulled off her damp diaper. As soon as I took it off, she began to pee.

Then, she decided it was time to poo, too. ALL OVER THE PLACE. Luckily my lap pad was big enough to catch the entire mess, but it didn't keep me from sweating bullets and having a near panic attack. The room reeked of baby poo (popcorn) and alas, my girl was still screaming bloody murder.

I pulled out my next weapon from my mommy artillery – the boob. Still mostly nude, I sat on the seat in the room with a wadded up putrid lap pad at my feet and nursed my insatiable darling. A slow paced eater, like her mother, we were in there for a good 30 minutes before I could finally put on my clothes, gather the mess, buckle her back up, and get the hell out of dodge before I encountered another melt down. Needless to say, I did not get the dress.

Post your most humiliating or infuriating "new mama" story in the Lil Surprises Group. We'll pick some to post and give you all the credit. If they are TOO humbling we can always post them anonymously. Just know that you'll be making other mamas feel sane about their seemingly less–than–perfect lives.