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Who to Invite into the Delivery Room

Who to Invite into the Delivery Room

One of the decisions every pregnant woman eventually makes is who she wants to have by her side in the delivery room. And since giving birth is an incredibly personal as well as momentous event, it can be complicated decision. Aside from doctors and nurses, who should be present? To help you decide, we've rounded up several different perspectives and advice from Circle of Moms members who've been through labor.

Significant Others Only

Many Circle of Moms members chose to have only their husband or partner be in the delivery room. "We wanted our special moment of meeting OUR son the first time to be just about us, and no one else," Ashley J. recalls. "We had an awesome delivery, it was a fun experience for me, and my husband was very attentive and a great labor coach. I'm very glad that I did it this way."

"I Needed My Mum"

On the other hand, not all moms trust their husband or partner to be able to come thtough for them in the delivery room. Jess L. shares: "I needed my mum because I knew my partner would be no good under pressure....My mum was my rock, honestly. My partner was crying in the corner! My mum cleaned me up when I vomitted all over the place, she held my hair, rubbed my back, held the vomit bag." Veronica H. agrees: "I would not have made it without my mom. She was such a calming person to have there for me. I had both my husband and my mom with me."


A Party in the Delivery Room

While spouses and moms are obvious candidates, they're certainly not the only ones asking for admittance. Circle of Moms members share stories of sisters, aunts, cousins, mothers-in-law, and roommates who are all clamoring to witness the delivery room action. Roxanne D. recalls: "I had an argument with my baby's father about having HIS mother in the delivery room with me." And Maggie E. shares: "I had my husband, my mom, my sister, two cousins, and a video camera. It's all what you're comfortable with."

Deciding What You Want

Maggie's final point ("it's all about what you're comfortable with") has been echoed by countless Circle of Moms members. Try to realistically assess the kind of support and experience you want in the delivery room, and go from there. Will your husband be a great coach during labor or faint at the first sight of blood? Will your mom help keep you calm and provide a "been there before" perspective or will she irritate you? And in general, do you prefer privacy or to have a cheering squad around you when going through an intense experience? Krista D. explains: "This is one decision that has to be left up to you and your feelings. Are you and your mom close? Would she be supportive? Don't listen to what she is telling you that she wants, do what you feel is right for you at that moment."

Image Source: NataPics via Flickr/Creative Commons

Join The Conversation
rhondagrahamneebrilz rhondagrahamneebrilz 5 years
well, i am a mom and a labour and delivery nurse. it is an intense and very special moment that you can not get back. personally i have seen it all. the families actually can take away from the experience as they also are human beings with feelings and needs. i feel if they wernt there when you were makeing it ,they should not be there when you are haveing it. i am all for the mom coming and being a support,but often find that the partner does not step up then and ends up sitting in a chair. the men really feel helpless and if they are the support then they have to step up and they feel a real sence of beeing part of thier childs birth. the party in the room is not ok. if there is an emergency it is very difficult to do my job,ensuring a healthy mom and baby..........climbing over onlookers is not ok. also dont you think it is beautiful when the woman and man and the new baby get to be a family together first. to have that special moment together and moms always breastfeed better and in good time if the whole gang is not waiting to hold the new baby. parent need to consider this. just saying....and as a nurse in this area i try to help the families and give them what they want. if a family decides last minute that they want only themselves in the room and convey it to me i will be the bad guy and ask the others to leave at the time of birth.that way there are no hurt feelings to the mom. i love my job and am fortunate to be that person. and after 24 years i have found the beauty in a very quiet very intimate delivery and the start of a new family. it makes me want to come back. it is very difficult for a mom to watch her baby have a baby..sometimes the moms of my paitient require more support than the paitient themselves. and that takes away from the woman haveing the baby. this is my opinion only and i hope i was helpful to some....
LeanneHamilton LeanneHamilton 5 years
When I gave birth I had my boyfriend and my best friend in the room with me. My friend was filming and my boyfriend was their for support. We decided no one else was allowed in or else It would probably cause a fight (allowing one mom would hurt the other and then hurt my granny who actually raised me, etcetc). Next time around im thinking of allowing my son in the delivery room with us. He would then have the special honor of holding his new sibling before anyone else.. However, I would only allow this if he were comfortable and mature enough to handle it.
AnieshaHunt AnieshaHunt 5 years
I had my partner & my Mum with me, and it was perfect! They were both so great for me, and it was good coz they were able to give each other a break and I still always had someone by my side to support me:)
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