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Why I'm at Peace with Being a SAHM...for Now

Why I'm at Peace with Being a SAHM...for Now

Why I'm at Peace with Being a SAHM...for Now

Just last night we returned from a family trip to Jamaica. It is rare we do things on our own as a family outside of our larger family (it's pretty big and there's always something to participate in). In the last few years we've found that it's really important for ourselves and our little family to do things on our own or with friends who are on our page, so to speak. This trip in particular helped me step aside from all the craziness of life and mommyhood here in Brooklyn, and put some major things into perspective for me.

Now that my second (and in our set of plans, final) daughter is three months old, I was starting to get antsy for my next big project. I've spent the last two years trying to get pregnant, staying pregnant, and nursing baby. It's been a long haul, both emotionally and energetically.

But the thing is...I don't sit still very well. I love love love mommying. I love it more than I ever imagined I could. And on top of that, it's taught me invaluable lessons about myself and the world around me. But with this deep love for these children comes a need to provide them with the best life possible with the most opportunities and the best mommy for them. I'm pretty sure that a huge part of parenting is being the best, most, fullest person you can be to show your children all that life has in store for them.



I can't help but think that I'm a work in progress and unless I push myself to keep growing and providing, I'll fall into the stereotypical slump of Peggy Bundy-ness.

Before we left for Jamiaca, I had a cafe in the works (business plan written and talks for financing started). Then my partner decided she couldn't commit the time and energy it needed. Then I had a health food-bakery-type business in the early early works, and came home to it falling through as well.

To say I was super excited about both opportunities and on working to make them happen full force is an understatement. But somehow, coming home to the fall through of the second was somewhat of a relief.

Coming home from this reboot vacation for the first time in a while left me realizing that it's okay to just be a good mom and wife for a while. There is nothing to prove right now outside of doing this 24-hour mommy gig well. I need to let go of my plans for the time being, focus on cooking good food for my family, letting my baby sleep on my chest for as long as she needs to, and giving myself a break more often.

My new plan is to enjoy this. Every second of every day of it. Because from what they tell me, these moments are fleeting...

Image Source: Eve Lynn Kessner's iPhoto

The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

Join The Conversation
DeserRaiBeversdorf DeserRaiBeversdorf 5 years
I totally know where you're coming from. I was in the processing of starting my own photography business when I found out I was pregnant. After my wonderful baby boy was born my husband and I decided I should focus on being a SAHM. I think after the first 6 months I was getting antsy and since I do sessions here and there. This past weekened I was BOOKED! I then realized I couldn't do that anymore because it meant not giving my son my full attetion, which means more to me. Eventually, I want to have my own cafe/gallery. But until then, I have a little baby (that won't stay a baby forever) and want to enjoy that small amount of time. My photography will always be there waiting :)
MelanieSelway MelanieSelway 5 years
I totally feel this Mom! I too always think, what can I do for me? I often try things and then realize there isn't enough time in a day to focus on me and my daughter (almost 2 and starting to work on our second this summer). I had a great career before this and sometimes miss the excitement of adult life. I do feel incredibly lucky to be able to stay at home, it's the only way I ever wanted to raise children. However, I think it's totally normal at times to miss your old life. In the first year I really felt like I'd lost myself until I came to the realization that this was the best place for me to be. Kudos for admitting you have dreams and also for deciding it's just ok to be.
RebeccaStevenson83204 RebeccaStevenson83204 5 years
I guess it is hard to take this article seriously when your first sentence talks about your trip to Jamaica. Um, my husband and I BOTH work and we can't afford a trip to you are so so blessed that you have the CHOICE to either stay home or work. If my husband made more money, I would stay home in a heartbeat...and wouldn't fee the need to "justify" it to anyone. Staying home with your own children is one of the best blessings a mother can have! They are only young once, and rushing around after work is stressful and frustrating. I work 3 days a week so that I can be home more than I am gone, but doing that is even a sacrifice because every penny we make goes to regular bills like food, mortgage, utilities, etc.... so I am glad that you have decided to be ok with being a stay at home mom...for now....but I think you are looking at it the wrong way. You should be so so very thankful that you can do that!!!! And not just be "ok" with it....
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