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Wishing For a Baby Girl

Is It OK to Wish For a Baby of One Gender Over the Other?

Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post about wishing for a baby of a certain gender.

When I was first pregnant 10 years ago and people asked whether I wanted a boy or a girl, I always responded that I wanted a healthy baby. I gave the same response when I got pregnant a year-and-a-half later.

I was telling the truth. Back then I thought it was greedy and socially unacceptable to express that you hoped for a specific gender. I thought it was cruel and mean to the fetus inside my belly to have an opinion.


Related: How to achieve a great-looking C-section scar

Plus, I was haunted by a family story about my grandmother wanting a girl so badly that she gave my dad a girl’s name, Terry. Not Terrance, but Terry, which apparently back then wasn't used for both genders.

But now I'm older and less wise, and I'm letting go of the self-righteous attitudes that I latched onto in my youth, and I will tell you that more than anything I want a girl. A ruffle-loving, pink-wearing, pretty little princess who I can call Kate or Elizabeth or Sarah-Rose or something wonderfully lovely and girlie.

Keep reading for the rest of this mom-to-be's thoughts.

Many of the reasons are superficial. For example, I saved all the clothes from both my son and my daughter, and my daughter had probably twice as many clothes. She was the first, which meant more spoiling from family and friends (harsh yet true). If I have a girl, I won't need to buy a single pair of clothing for at last five years.

But there's one main reason that supersedes them all and that I think makes my desperation for a girl valid, justified, acceptable, not-so selfish, possibly even endearing (if you're so kind to not judge).

More than anything I want my daughter to have a sister.

I don't have a sister and I've always admired sisterly bonds. Yes, I know that not all sisters get along. Some (probably all) pull each other's hair and steal each other's clothes (even boyfriends).

I have friends who don't even talk to their sisters.

But more so, I have friends who talk to their sisters almost every day. I have this idea that if you have a sister you always have someone to call on a lonely Friday night. You always have something to wear to the prom (because you can borrow her dress). You always have someone who will remember your birthday and give you that exact thing you wanted for Christmas without you ever handing over a list. You know who will be the maid of honor in your wedding and you know who will show up at the hospital after you've had your first baby. Or maybe she'll even be in the delivery room right there with you.

I want my daughter to have that — or at least a chance at creating a beautiful relationship with a sister, as I know these things take work.

When you were pregnant, did you have a gender preference?

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