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Would You Consider Being a Surrogate?

The hilarious Tina Fey's Baby Mama hits theaters soon. And, while the flick offers a comedic take on the womb-for-rent relationship, surrogacy is a timely issue with more and more women waiting until later in life to have children. And a number of hopeful moms-to-be having fertility issues.

Actress Deirdre Hall and journalist, Joan Lunden are two well known women who were very public about their use of surrogates. Though twelve states including New York don't consider the surrogate contracts between biological and adoptive mothers valid, California and a few others regulate the legalized practice. To finish this piece,


A recent piece in Newsweek that focused on the women bearing the babies was particularly poignant saying that while the practice is a labor of love, it also involves a financial transaction. It said:

But what kind of woman would carry a child to term, only to hand him over moments after birth? Surrogates challenge our most basic ideas about motherhood, and call into question what we've always thought of as an unbreakable bond between mother and child.

Would you carry a child for a family member, friend or stranger?


Join The Conversation
E-to-the-Third-Power E-to-the-Third-Power 6 years
Since nobody I know is asking me, I'm going to say that I would do it for a stranger. I think it would be difficult to have the baby in my life. Having said that, if someone I loved could not have children, I think it sould be a special bond that would be really cool if I thought I could handle it.
SurroMatchFL SurroMatchFL 9 years
I have been a surrogate twice and gave birth to two sets of twins in 2000 and 2005. The feeling of accomplishment far outweighs the risks and frustrations. Surrogacy changed my life and the lives of those that I had the privilege to help. I not only helped couples become parents I added to their family tree and perhaps, one day, they themselves will be grandparents and great grandparents through these very special children! Sharon LaMothe Infertility Answers
sauterhead sauterhead 9 years
I would, definitely, for my sister - or donate eggs. Not sure if I would do it for a friend necessarily.
ShootingStar ShootingStar 9 years
I wouldn't do it because I couldn't do it. I can't have a baby grow inside me for 9 months and then give it away like a pair of shoes to a thrift store. It you can't have a baby naturally, then maybe it's not meant to be. Maybe fate has something else in store for you. I don't think surrogacy is the answer. I think it's down right awkward and odd. Nobody thinks of the kids anyway. How do you think they will feel having 2 mothers? It's something they will spend the rest of their life trying to adjust to. Plus, to some of the posters here, being a surrogate and using your own eggs are 2 different things. If you use your own eggs, then the baby really is yours. It's your flesh and blood and your genes & DNA. Gotta be careful with that. Don't want any inbreeding now do we?
emmebeth emmebeth 9 years
My sister and I have discussed this. I would be willing not only to be a surrogate, but provide eggs for her if need be.
tashaoner tashaoner 9 years
i would do it absolutely. the thing is that there is a law in many states that the baby that you carry must not be yours biologically. so what happens is they takes the couples egg and sperm and combine them and then they implant them in you, so you really are just the "oven"
milosmommy milosmommy 9 years
For a close friend or family member only
californiagirlx7 californiagirlx7 9 years
I would only do it if I already had at least one baby and I would only be a surrogate for my sisters or perhaps one of my close friends but I'm not sure....
plus_2_kid plus_2_kid 9 years
I would never do it.
jennylobotome jennylobotome 9 years
We are trying to adopt another child (as I can't have children due to ovarian cancer 7 yrs ago) and explored surrogacy - It's amazing to me the generosity that other woman are willing to bestow on those trying to have a family...But its so much harder than it appears and so much more expensive - egg donor fees, in-vitro attempts ($15K a try), medical bills, surrogacy payment to the agency and woman - all in all it was going to be about $100K-$120,000 - that is of course if you don't know the woman. If you are lucky enough to have a friend or family member who will do it for you and use her own eggs then it becomes more possible (financially at least). Anyway, I think its great so many of you said you would at least consider it for a friend or family member in need!
CaterpillarGirl CaterpillarGirl 9 years
I couldnt do it personally. I am too emotional
Jachicue Jachicue 9 years
I watched a documentary about surrogates, and one lady was very clear in stating at the beginning of the process of her being a surrogate, that she would not bond with the baby while pregnant with it. I thought that was so very interesting. The baby's parents would talk to the baby, sing to it, read to it, but the surrogate didn't do that. If I ever have children and am able to give the gift of motherhood to someone, I would offer myself up. No sweat.
Bookish Bookish 9 years
I'd only do it for my sister or my best friend. I hated being pregnant, but I'd do it again for those two. Plus, I was one of those women whose maternal instincts didn't kick in until a few hours after birth, instead of during pregnancy, so I think it would be fairly easy for me to hand over a baby I'd grown to a woman I loved.
em113 em113 9 years
no. I'm very pro-adoption not so much pro-surrogates
megnmac megnmac 9 years
I like to think that I would do it, but I know how hard it would be to form that attachment and then not have the baby after it is born. It would be pretty traumatizing. I have a friend who considered it, she has some chronic pain that went away while preg, but ultimately couldn't imagine not keeping the baby. I also have a friend's mom who did this a couple of times, seeing it as a Christian choice of helping someone else be able to have a baby. I think there are those out there choosing to help, but I also think there are a lot of desperate women selling eggs and doing this to pay bills...
Mykie7 Mykie7 9 years
I considered it when I was a single mom struggling just to put food on the table for myself and my Son. I couldn't ever do it though. The idea of carrying a child, and then not having ANY contact with that child whatsoever, well, there was no way I could do it.
letter2elise letter2elise 9 years
That picture made me laugh out loud! My husband actually did something similar when we had our first. I would definitely do that for family or a close friend. What an amazing gift to give someone.
fashionhore fashionhore 9 years
Because my aunt and uncle wanted a child so badly and my aunt has Chrones disease, I offered up my womb to help them, but they were able to conceive naturally. I would only do that for my sisters and her, nobody else.
nyaradzom2001 nyaradzom2001 9 years
i would do it, even for a stranger.
melizzle melizzle 9 years
I wanted to do this for a family member... but was ruled out because I have not yet had children.
Raiyah Raiyah 9 years
i would only do it for my family. Not for strangers i think..
JustSomeChick JustSomeChick 9 years
I absolutely would for someone close to me. I loved being pregnant, and while a bond would certainly be formed while carrying the child, knowing that a) I would be able to help someone have a child they otherwise wouldn't be able to carry themselves, and b) I would be able to continue to be in the child's life, it would be well worth the sacrifice.
sunlandseagirl sunlandseagirl 9 years
I would not do it. I agree with the article. It would be very difficult for me not to think the child is mine after i nourished it in my womb for 9 months... Also, it's totally unnecessary because there are already thousands of children born every year in need of parents. Why not just adopt and save yourself the stress of having to "suck up" and bribe another woman for 9 months?!?!
LyzzNY LyzzNY 9 years
i would do it for a good friend or a family member.. i think everyone should be a parent if they want to be...
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